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Unplanned pregnancy

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zman420

Guest
My name is Bryan and I live in Los Angeles. I only just moved here two years ago so I am not sure about the laws. Anyways, I met a girl several years ago through family friends and started dating her. Things ended up not working out, but we always stayed in contact. She lives in Las Vegas and when I went there in Febuary of this year for work, we ended up getting together and having sex. I came back to L.A. and about a month later, she told me she was pregnant. We both decided that we should have the child aborted, or so I thought. I told her that I would send money, but she informed me that her and her father had it taken care of and we going to the clinic the following wednsday. I called the next weekend to see how everything went and she told me it was all taken care of with no problems. That was the last time that I talked, until a week and a half ago. I get a phone call from my mother telling me that this girl is pregnant. She didn't have my number, but she had my mothers, so she called her. Come to find out, she told me that she had it aborted so that I would forget about it until it was too late. She researched the cutoff point for abortions and waited until the exact day of the cutoff before she told my family and hers, as she still lives at home. Although it was a very rough decision on my behalf, I decided that I want to sign off all legal rights to the child. Now, my question is, what are my options, what are my rights, and what are my responsibilities to this child. I am guessing that regardless of me signing off my rights I will still have to pay some child support. Please let me know because she is due at the end of November and I am lost.
 


wonderif2

Member
first off are you sure it is even your baby....I do not to be mean or anything to that girl. But I would request a paternity test first and then you can decide on what to do.
 

Grace_Adler

Senior Member
Here we go again.. no offense to you but we just got into a big debate with another thread just recently.

Unfortunately there are alot of decieving and manipulative people out there. I'm glad you were big enough to try and follow up with her to see what was going on and I'm sorry you got the shaft. Unfortunately now, the child is also going to suffer because of this because they didn't ask to be here. Kids need both parents. I'm sure you learned a valuable lesson about this though in that you can't trust people and anything can happen. Please don't take this the wrong way. I am truly trying to help out.

As far as I know, you can't sign off your parental rights unless you have a damn good reason why and this wouldn't constitute one..or, both of you agree to it, in which I believe courts allow it in some cases. I'm not really sure. I do think that you'd have a really hard time doing it.

You are correct about the child support. You would still have to pay.

I personally think the best thing you can do right now is if she is planning on sueing you for child support, when you get the papers, deny paternity. They will then issue a paternity test. Then you will know if this child is even yours or not. If it turns out this child is yours you have the right to file for custody..joint or sole and for visitation if you don't get sole custody. If you need sites about family law, child support, ect. just let us know. At this point I think this is the best thing you can do. Remember the courts are after the best interest of the child as it should be.

Hope this answers your questions.
 
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njmom

Guest
WOW!!!!!!!!!

Are you ok today PT?.........I know what you said was true, but I don't know if how you said it was necessary!.....Yes, I do agree with you, so don't get huffy!.....I am assuming first off that this couple is rather young, so on that note I am not so sure that the maturity level is quite up to your standards!!...
 
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njmom

Guest
ok ok ok

No problem......now, what has had you sidetracked away from us lovely ladies on the forum???????????Huh??????????
 
K

knorris

Guest
I agree pthalo

I pray for the sake of this child that you are not it's father. YOU were man enough to lay down and have sex. But not man enough to take step's to prevent a child. And now you think that you can make it all go away. By signing your right away and then that's it your done. Your a jerk! I hope you do just as you've stated you plan to. Then this child will atleast have a chance at having a real FATHER. Don't forget what comes around goes around. One day Karma is going to bite your azz. Kathie :p
 
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njmom

Guest
oooooooooooooooo

I see!!........and what is next Saturday?...LOL...Are we all finally meeting....and I didn't know it??...LMAO!
 
Z

zman420

Guest
wow

I didn't think I would be getting hate mail by posting this question. I understand that what I have decided to do is not a hot topic. I just feel that I would resent this child because of what the mother has done to me. I still want to pay child support and do whatever I have to do, I just don't feel that I can be involved and be a responsible and unconditionally loving parent to this child for the reason stated above. I said that this was a hard decision to come to, but I was advised by many people, including family memebers from not only my family, but also hers, and friends that this was the best thing to do. Further more, I am looking for advice along the lines of legalities. I don't need to hear what somebody personally thinks about my decision. It has been hard enough as it is without having to deal with some jerk writing hate mail. And yes, I am very young to get that out of the way. I am very happy for the person that loves his kid even though he was lied to even worse than me. I guess I am just not that grown up and mature yet. And I know that I took that risk when I slept with the girl. That is why I wore a CONDOM. At least I was trying to be responsible. And, I have to wait for the baby to be born to have a paternity test, but I wanted to be prepared for everything.
 
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njmom

Guest
LOL

Oh ok.....I think I got you're point...."no, not ALL"
hmmmm....wonder who PT is meeting......lol.......when are ya leaving to go back to school?
 
K

knorris

Guest
If you wore a condem then maybe your not the father. sorry if you think I'm harsh. but when it comes to yet another person willing to not take responsibility of there actions. then it upsets me. good luck to you Kathie
 
N

njmom

Guest
Well, Bryan.....

There are a lot of different people with different opinions, and I gues if you can't handle it, then take off now, because this is only the beginning of your responses.
 
Z

zman420

Guest
I hope I am not

I really do hope for the sake of the child that I am not the father. Me and the mother of the lying ex-girlfriend have talked extensivley and think that there might have been somebody else. But, of course the ex is denying this. It is just hard to believe her since she has lied to me, my family, and her own family. I am crossing my fingers until we get the results after the child is born, but like I said before. I just want to be prepared.
 
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zman420

Guest
pthalo, I understand

I understand where you are coming from. I also posted this question in this forum for the same reason that you pointed out. None of you know me and so I get objective advise. Yes, there are a lot of questions that need to be asked, and they have. But, the ex won't say anything to me anymore. Ever since I asked for a DNA test when the child is born, she won't talk to me. Now I can only talk to her mother about the situation. She tells me that her daughter still says I am the only person that could be the father. It is really hard to believe her because she has lied to many times before, but I still can't help worrying about it.
 
Z

zman420

Guest
you just can't help it can you?

pthalo,

You just can help being a dick can you? I am trying to ask serious questions and hoping for semi-intellectual answers. But, it doesn't seem like you have anything constructive to say at all.
 
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zman420

Guest
I am

I am also thinking about the childs well-being. That is why I say that I hope she is lying to me, because I know that I cannot be a responsible father besides being able to send $$$$$$$$
 

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