unwed mom-to-be

[nextwife]

Sometimes guys that are too good to be true come along, there one in a million, but they are out there.

Actually, good, responsible men are NOT one in a million. There are just as many good, involved fathers as there are good mothers. Women are not a superior gender. There are plenty of irresponsible moms out there. I know a heck of a lot of nice guys, who are very involved daddys and family men.

If a woman wants a guy like that for her kid's daddy, they should defer babymaking until they find a nice, supportive, responsible guy who is ready willing and able to be a daddy to their child.

And, poster, if daddy files for paternity and establishes a relationship with his child, which IS his legal right, your someday marriage will NOT give you the right to change your child's name over the father's objections, unless the court determines it will be in THE CHILD'S best interest.

Being concieved outside marriage ONLY makes a difference up until paternity and visitation is legally established. After that, daddy has the same rights to pursue as a divorced dad.

As STealth pointed out, you had options if you wanted to become mom to a child who would NOT have a legal father so that you alone would have all the legal rights. I know plenty of adoptive single parents and they DO have all the legal rights. And women who concieved via a sperm bank- they too can legally remain the sole parent. But you have a child that was NOT concieved in a way that allows you to legally cut out the father. He is just as much the parent as you are, and you are very unfair to demand he give up his future child.

 

[Wolflmg]

Actually, good, responsible men are NOT one in a million. There are just as many good, involved fathers as there are good mothers. Women are not a superior gender. There are plenty of irresponsible moms out there. I know a heck of a lot of nice guys, who are very involved daddys and family men.

If a woman wants a guy like that for her kid's daddy, they should defer babymaking until they find a nice, supportive, responsible guy who is ready willing and able to be a daddy to their child.

And, poster, if daddy files for paternity and establishes a relationship with his child, which IS his legal right, your someday marriage will NOT give you the right to change your child's name over the father's objections, unless the court determines it will be in THE CHILD'S best interest.

Being concieved outside marriage ONLY makes a difference up until paternity and visitation is legally established. After that, daddy has the same rights to pursue as a divorced dad.

As STealth pointed out, you had options if you wanted to become mom to a child who would NOT have a legal father so that you alone would have all the legal rights. I know plenty of adoptive single parents and they DO have all the legal rights. And women who concieved via a sperm bank- they too can legally remain the sole parent. But you have a child that was NOT concieved in a way that allows you to legally cut out the father. He is just as much the parent as you are, and you are very unfair to demand he give up his future child.

I know that. I was referring to her past relationship with the father of the 8 year old. Who really hurt her, because he didn't want to have anything to do with her of his child. This woman has been hurt, and because of that she afraid that any guy that comes along is going to hurt her like the last guy and she seems to be having a hard time with everything, because this guy has being very nice and supportive towards her and she doesn't know how to deal with that because of the fear that she'll get hurt all over again.