kmf05 said:
Yeah, he is a great guy. He not only wants to take responsibility for his child, but he continually tells me he wants to be with me and my 8 year old daughter from a previous relationship. One-of-a-kind ... I know. The thing is, he lives hundreds of miles away from me. He is in the military, which I worry about. I know I cannot FORCE him to terminate his parental rights, I just asked him if he would consider it. My preference is to just raise the baby on my own. I am not sure as to what rights he would have to the child after he/she is born ... if any.
Ok...this is how it works.
I assume that since you don't want him involved, you won't be allowing him to sign the affidavit of paternity at the hospital. (which actually is better...paternity should really be established by DNA).
Therefore, when the child is first born he won't have any rights at all....because he won't be the legal father of the child.
It will be up to him to file to establish paternity. Once he does that (which will take a few months to accomplish once he files), then he will have the option to file for visitation and some form of custody. You will also have the option to file for child support...plus the child would be entitled to some military benefits as well.
Since dad is in the military...and lives a long way away, the most he can hope for is joint legal custody (joint decision making) and the right to visit the child in your community.
Once he has established a bond with the child, and the child is a little older, then he will have the option to get visitation in his own community, for more extended lengths of time. How fast that will happen depends a great deal on his military career, and his available time to visit...whether or not he gets deployed...etc.
Your child really will have the right to have a relationship with his/her father. You should not deny that to your child since dad apparently is a good guy....or rather, PARTICULARLY since dad appears to be a good guy.
Since you also have another child to consider....its probably best for you to not allow yourself to be talked into moving to dad's community. If you were to do that, and the baby was born there (or lived there long enough to establish residency after birth), then it would be difficult, or maybe even impossible for you to get court permission to relocate the child back to Ohio.