Update to lgbtq issues and private schools

[PrivateSchoolRocks]

Hello - I posted back in March about a question regarding an LGBTQ student and the private school I work for as a school counselor.

It appears you all were correct in all your assessments.

we elected not to invite the transgender student back for the 2023-2024 school year. The student’s mother’s response was extremely unexpected in that she said she had already decided not to return her child to us and was in fact withdrawing the child immediately, as she alleged the bullying the child received caused the child to have such extreme depression as to need intensive psychiatric treatment. And she demanded a refund of the tuition paid.

our school has a policy of no refunds of tuition, which we cited to the mother, and she counted that we also have a no bullying policy, which we did not follow. The head of the school got involved and denied her claim that her child’s absenteeism was caused by bullying, and since we have a policy about attendance, she didn’t deserve a refund.

she then sent a letter to both us and the credit card company (the credit card which she paid with) detailing every instance of the alleged bullying with names, dates, and times, and it included to the credit card that we charged her card for tuition without actually having her permission.

An investigation of the dates revealed our automated tuition system did charge her card prior to us having a conversation with her regarding extending her child’s probation at our school. So without conceding about the bullying, the head of the school did refund her tuition.

And because we did not concede on the bullying, the mother has retaliated by filing a grievance against me with my professional licensing board. I will now have to follow up with that to avoid problems with my license.

apparently we were in the wrong. We should not have repeatedly extended this student’s probation when it was obviously not working, which would have saved both child and school a great deal of angst.

 

[quincy]

Thank you for the update.

Here for the benefit of others is a link to your original (now-locked) thread:

https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/lgbtq-issues-and-private-school.663032/

 

[PrivateSchoolRocks]

Also, we had the police department come out and speak to the student body on bullying, recognizing it, reporting it, and stopping it.

the school board would not approve any other action, including education for teachers, in regards to bullying.

I am considering if my employment here is something I want to continue.

 

[Just Blue]

Also, we had the police department come out and speak to the student body on bullying, recognizing it, reporting it, and stopping it.

the school board would not approve any other action, including education for teachers, in regards to bullying.

I am considering if my employment here is something I want to continue.

I would advise you to seek another form of employment as you are not suited for the counseling/guidance/social worker...or perhaps further your training to include appropriate response to the issues children are facing today. Because you failed this child. Don't do that to another child...the consequences could be fatal to them.

 

[PrivateSchoolRocks]

Will I need an attorney to respond to the grievance against my license?

 

[quincy]

Will I need an attorney to respond to the grievance against my license?

I recommend it.

 

[stealth2]

Thank you for the update.

Here for the benefit of others is a link to your original (now-locked) thread:

https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/lgbtq-issues-and-private-school.663032/

Thanks for the link, q - made it easier to go back & reread.

@PrivateSchoolRocks - based on your first post on this thread, is it safe to assume that the school did not consult with a lawyer? Because I'd bet that a lawyer would have advised that the parents be refunded the tuition w/o argument, rather than continuing to dig in their heels.

 

[adjusterjack]

Will I need an attorney to respond to the grievance against my license?

Yes. My friend had a grievance against is social work license. His lawyer made short work of it. My friend would have been clueless about how to respond to legal allegations. I'm guessing you would be too.

 

[quincy]

PrivateSchoolRocks, a complaint has been filed against you with the licensing board. How you respond to the complaint can mean the difference between the Board taking no action against you and your license all the way to revocation of your license. If you value your professional license, you are best off having an attorney assist you with your response.

In addition, if you have malpractice insurance that covers your professional license, you probably will want to contact your insurer now.

 

[Zigner]

apparently we were in the wrong. We should not have repeatedly extended this student’s probation when it was obviously not working, which would have saved both child and school a great deal of angst.

Good Lord (yeah, the one you profess to serve), is that what you took from this? That you should have kicked the kid out earlier, as opposed to addressing the way those other godly children were treating this child of Christ?

<Spit>

And, on the off-chance that yours is not a religion-based school, then my disgust with you and the school still applies, except without the reference(s) to God.

 

[Just Blue]

Good Lord (yeah, the one you profess to serve), is that what you took from this? That you should have kicked the kid out earlier, as opposed to addressing the way those other godly children were treating this child of Christ?

<Spit>

And, on the off-chance that yours is not a religion-based school, then my disgust with you and the school still applies, except without the reference(s) to God.

Agree.

And that is why I advised OP as I did. She truly is not fit to counsel children...actually she is not fit to counsel adults either.

 

[stealth2]

And, on the off-chance that yours is not a religion-based school

Based on the prior thread, it's not a parochial school - it's a special needs one. That kind of makes it worse, IMO.

 

[Ohiogal]

As I said in the prior thread:

None of this is harmless. You are allowing this student to be bullied by a bunch of homophobic bigots. I hope your school does get sued and you all lose your jobs. You are pathetic. And also a bigot. If you are a LICENSED counselor, I hope your license is pulled for allowing bullying of a child.

You deserve to lose your license. I am glad the mother filed a grievance against you and your license. You did exactly the wrong thing. You don't deserve to be licensed. Or to counsel anyone.

 

[Ohiogal]

Oh and per this that you stated:

I am a liscensed professional counselor and a licensed marriage/family therapist.

and as an aside, our non-LGBTQ students have had complaints about this student. Several girls complained this child touched their hair without their consentand made them uncomfortable. So perhaps bullying goes both ways?

we tried to have a reasonable discussion with this child about keeping hands to one’s self, but rather than taking responsibility, the child vehemently denied touching anyone (though multiple girls came together to make a complaint) and then cried and had to be sent home. The child was absent (again!) the following day and the mother called, irate, accusing us of calling her child a predator because the child is trans … even though we said *nothing* of the kind.

anyhow, perhaps we dropped the ball when some of our students were unkind and we can take this as a lesson learned.

thank you for all of your opinions.

You won't be licensed for long. You better hope you are not personally sued for damages as well. Because you could lose everything.

 

[Ohiogal]

Hello - I posted back in March about a question regarding an LGBTQ student and the private school I work for as a school counselor.

It appears you all were correct in all your assessments.

we elected not to invite the transgender student back for the 2023-2024 school year. The student’s mother’s response was extremely unexpected in that she said she had already decided not to return her child to us and was in fact withdrawing the child immediately, as she alleged the bullying the child received caused the child to have such extreme depression as to need intensive psychiatric treatment. And she demanded a refund of the tuition paid.

our school has a policy of no refunds of tuition, which we cited to the mother, and she counted that we also have a no bullying policy, which we did not follow. The head of the school got involved and denied her claim that her child’s absenteeism was caused by bullying, and since we have a policy about attendance, she didn’t deserve a refund.

Your school needs completely shut down and you need removed from the counseling profession.

she then sent a letter to both us and the credit card company (the credit card which she paid with) detailing every instance of the alleged bullying with names, dates, and times, and it included to the credit card that we charged her card for tuition without actually having her permission.

An investigation of the dates revealed our automated tuition system did charge her card prior to us having a conversation with her regarding extending her child’s probation at our school. So without conceding about the bullying, the head of the school did refund her tuition.

Too little, too late.