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Updating Wording for Vacation Time

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Sehawks16

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?
WA

I share custody of my 4-year-old daughter, and her mom is the primary parent. Our regular visitation schedule is that I have her every other weekend from Friday morning to Sunday evening.

Our summer vacation schedule on our parenting states "Same as regular visitation schedule. In addition, up to 14 days vacation time with the child with 30 days prior notice to the other parent. If there is a conflict in days, father's choice shall prevail during odd years, and mother's choice shall prevail in even years".

There is no wording on how we split the 14 days, but both of us typically break it up into 2-3 chunks. However, my ex likes to choose times where her vacation time takes place during my weekends in the middle of her regular scheduled time, so they she gets my daughter for 15 days straight, and then another 17 days straight. I think this is unfair since I counted my 3 day weekend towards one of my vacation weeks since I picked first this year, and I'm trying to be reasonable. I feel like her intent is to minimize my time with my daughter. I want to approach her to try to compromise, and try to change the wording on the vacation schedule to make it more specific.

My questions is, what specific wording should I write to make it so that if the vacation time falls after or before a day of regular visitation, then those days must count as part of the vacation time? Or, does anyone have any better suggestions on how I can prevent this from happening?

Any insight is much appreciated. Thank you!
 


Sehawks16

Junior Member
You think it's unfair because you didn't think of it first...
I already considered doing this but was not trying to not open a can of worms. Obviously it would benefit her more in the long run because she has already has her the majority of the time, and she could potentially try to take all of my weekends during the summer.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I already considered doing this but was not trying to not open a can of worms. Obviously it would benefit her more in the long run because she has already has her the majority of the time, and she could potentially try to take all of my weekends during the summer.
The wording should simply state that vacation time periods must include the parent's own regularly scheduled parenting time. However, your daughter is also getting to be old enough that summer time could be split more fairly between the parents. Every other week is a common division of parenting time in the summer, and if that was the case, then vacations could be eliminated entirely because each of you would have plenty of opportunity for vacations with an every other week split.
 

Sehawks16

Junior Member
The wording should simply state that vacation time periods must include the parent's own regularly scheduled parenting time. However, your daughter is also getting to be old enough that summer time could be split more fairly between the parents. Every other week is a common division of parenting time in the summer, and if that was the case, then vacations could be eliminated entirely because each of you would have plenty of opportunity for vacations with an every other week split.
Thank you. Based on what you suggested for a new summer schedule, and what not2cleverRed said about requesting a modification, do you think that I have a good chance of getting a modification based on a change of circumstances of age? Do I have any other leverage besides this?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Thank you. Based on what you suggested for a new summer schedule, and what not2cleverRed said about requesting a modification, do you think that I have a good chance of getting a modification based on a change of circumstances of age? Do I have any other leverage besides this?
Really the only leverage that you have is the fact that she is getting older and its the norm for the parent who is not primary to get more than just two weeks (and every other weekend) of the summer. It might have been better had she been a year or two older yet, but I think its within the realm of reasonable.

I would be asking that parenting time be modified to every other week during the summer, and that vacation time be eliminated because with an every other week schedule during the summer, the parents have lots of opportunity to vacation with the child without encroaching on the other's time.
 
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