Urgent! deadbeat dad back from the dead

[Kat2Wolf]

On January 12th, 2001, I received a phone call from a lawyer in Rhode Island. Apparently my daughter's biological contributor was finally arrested on a bench warrant for not showing up in court in 1987. Anyway....the state nailed him for $15,000 (I was receiving public assistance for several years).......they wanted to know if I wanted to put in my claim. I said no...so the lawyer told me if I change my mind they go to court on the 16th of February. I said no because I am worried about him trying to get involved in my daughter's life....and I know that if he does attempt that.....it will only be out of spite because of him being sued. I am not sure whether to put in my claim or not because at this point...with the state suing him anyway...he could still start trouble. I need some legal advice quickly in case he does all of a sudden try to push for visitation just out of the fact that now he has to pay. I need to know if the courts can force my daughter to go to Rhode Island to see this creature. He didn't bother all of her life either seeing her or participating financially. He never would either....if he didn't get arrested. He is a virtual stranger now.....who knows what kind of a person this is after all these years. My daughter is almost 15 years old now so if she doesn't want to bother with him the courts should grant her wishes because why should her life get all screwed up over a loser that never bothered with her when he didn't feel like it. I don't know if he will do anything to try to all of a sudden get some parental rights, but I really need to know what I will be up against if it does happen. I want to protect my daughter's emotional well being. We live in Wisconsin and he lives in Rhode Island.
Cathy

 

[M5555]

Dear Cathy,
I am the mother of three abandoned children who may well this same situation as you are currently....
My opinion is that the courts would see through any attempt of his to "get back at you" by "visiting" his daughter he had not cared about for 15 yrs...
I say call those people up again and say Go for it! I think it is doing the "sperm donor" a spiritual dis-service to let him get out of it scott-free. After all, it is a just reminder of what he has done to his own little girl! And perhaps he can repent someday and apologize to her when she is an adult that could possibly insulate herself against any plots of revenge he may harbor....
It makes me sick that some people can just walk away from their own flesh and blood...
They always have some sort of excuse-yet, it really can never make sense to a NORMAL functional parent who loves their child.
Plus, her being 15, it seems maybe her distaste at seeing him should come into play here. He could be a drug user, a sicko child molester, who knows by now!!!
Good luck to you.

 

[cat2young]

go for it

GO for your money, If he tried to set up visits 1 he would have to come to you, 2 he would have to spend money asking the court to set something up 3 given her age and his record it would not be a court priority. 4 she may need that money for college and if you wait untill she is 18 you may not be able to pursue it. 5 You are due that money.
Do I need to go on?

 

[angelbaby3969]

deadbeat dad

Hello, I am so glad to see someone posting with a Rhode Island tie. Yes take your money if you can get it with no strings attached. I am a former Rhode Island resident, and I have the nightmare child custody case of all time, and it is being battled right there in the lovely state of Rhode Island, which ended up with my ex-husband getting joint custody of my two children of the marriage with him getting physical custody of one of them, AFTER HE WAS CONVICTED OF CHILD MOLESTATION. Rhode Island has really crappy laws on custody and visitation, and if he is willing to pay someone, well he can have pretty much what he wants, or so it seems there. I am just a law abiding quiet mother, now in Virginia, of now three children, my oldest two, 10 and 11. The father got physical placement of my daughter after being denied contact with them for seven years, they sent her to live with a stranger, with no counselling through the DCYF or the courts, and despite all of my objections. Call Rhode Island Legal Services at (401)274-2652 and see if they can represent you on the matter if you now live out of state. They not only have a good family court unit, but they also have attorneys who work on behalf of the State Child Support Enforcement, so I would believe that you could find someone on your side there. Also, post message directly to Lady Blu on this sight. She is blunt, no way around it, but she is the most knowledgable person I have ever seen, she will tell you what your options are, and she speaks the truth, but some do not like it, as she tells it the way it is and will help you with anything you would like to know. My addition of the mention of RI Legal Services is there because they are willing to assist people who live out of state for a very nominal fee or for free. Good Luck!!!!!