Very Concerned

[mstarz]

What is the name of your state? Kansas

Ok this is a little odd. I will give you all a guick history. My boyfriend and I used to be married for about 6 years we have a 9 year old son together. After our divorce he got remarried during that marriage of about 2 years they had a child. After he got out of the miliarty he got offered a contract overseas which for the money he went visitation stayed the same so that my son could still see his little brother I had no problem with it till I found out some very bad news. The current wife was hooked on Meth may still be. During that year she used up $132,000 on drugs lost her house and paid no bills. During this time my b/f was overseas risking life. When he returned to none thing he asked if he could stay with us. Our son needs his dad around so I said yes. We started a relationship a couple of months later. Things have gone well. He has gotten divorced from her and has custody of the little one, because of the drug problem and the danger she put the children in (cooking crack jail time off and on and the addiction problem). He would like to got back over and do another contract. It offers great money that could so help with the bills that he got left with plus the divorce bill. We are very worried that she could could get temp or perm custody back since he would be gone for about 6 months at a time. The little one would be with me and his brother and grandparents (my mother has taken him in as her own grandchild). The question I pose is would it be better for him and I to remarry so there would be a stepparent taking care of the child. We have had the little one for almost a year but she has not had contract with him in the past 4 months and no support that was ordered. I would still follow the current visitation order while he would be working. Need the communities opinion
Thank you

 

[stuckinlamad]

Go to JAG

I am a military wife. Not a lawyer.

Your boyfriend/exhusband/whatever is in the military as a civilian contractor right? DOD? He needs to set up a family action plan. Which outlines what will happen to his kids while he is away. He can also give you his Special POA to act in his interest in all matters relating to the care of the child. In active duty non married military families or stepfamilies it is actually quite common that this arrises. Jag should be able to do all this paperwork for you. You will need a copy of all his medical insurance info for the kids and paperwork that says he is giving you temporary physical custody during the time he is overseas. JAG should be able to tell you what paperwork you need. On the off chance that JAG does not want to help you or can't because of the civilian side ask JAG what paperwork you will need to do it and go see an attorney that can draft the paperwork. Hope that helps.

 

[Ohiogal]

The custody of this child is not going to be determined by a "family action plan". It would be determined by the court. Technically even as a stepparent, the OP has no legal rights to keep the child. However if mom has been declared unfit due to the drug use (does she have any visitation) then mom would not be able to get custody. Custody would remain with dad and dad could determined who gets to care for his children. But that is based on MOM being declared unfit by the courts. Still OP has not say so. And if a grandparent (either maternal or paternal) that had a relationship wanted custody the court would hear it. WHile there are special rules protecting the military from being sued while in service, do not apply to civilians who are overseas. No matter what the OP does doesn't guarantee that there won't be a custody battle.