violation of trespass warrant.. please help!

[mmc6880]

What is the name of your state? FL

I had my boyfriend of 1 & 1/2 years arrested last week on charges of violating the trespassing warrant that he had been served back in Feb. this year. He has a problem with alcohol, and has become violent in the past which has caused me to have police come to my home on two prior occasions (the last time was in Feb. when the trespass warrant was issued) After the warrant had been issued, we worked things out and I had allowed him to visit me at my home regularly over the past 9 months. Last Friday we had been planning to go out that evening, but around the time he had planned to arrive I called and canceled. I asked that he not come over that night. He was upset and decided that he would show up anyway. He insisted that I let him in, saying that he needed to see me. I again asked that he leave. I did not want any problems because I knew that he had been drinking. He wouldnt leave and was causing trouble. I told him that I would call the police but he still didn't leave. When the police arrived I just had them arrest him. I wasn't thinking about the trespass warrant at the time, I just wanted him removed from outside of my home and thought that maybe he would spend the night in jail maybe there would be a small fine, but I had no idea that he would be still sitting in jail tonight with bail set at 15,000.00! I feel partly responsible because I didnt tell the officer that I had planned for him to be there that night, but then changed my mind. I just said that I had not invited him. I went to the DA's office and told him what the situation was. He said that all I could do was file a request to have the charges dropped, but it didn't necessarily mean that the charges would be dropped. His arraignment is set for the 15th. The letter I recieved reads "State v. (my boyfriend) does that mean it's all up to them to decide even though what he is being charged with was a crime against me?! Is there anything I can do or say at the court that could help? If so to whom? I have no idea how any of this works.. Please help! Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

 

[JETX]

The letter I recieved reads "State v. (my boyfriend) does that mean it's all up to them to decide even though what he is being charged with was a crime against me?

Actually, he wasn't charged with a crime against YOU... he was charged with violating the trespass order that was issued by the court. Your personal feelings are no longer relevant since the officers can testify as to his violation.

Is there anything I can do or say at the court that could help?

Probably not.
The simple fact is... the court and police did what you asked them to do. Your also allowing the violations to exist shows you are a spoiled brat... who expects to get what you want when you want it... then call the police when the exact same thing happens... when you don't want him to visit.
Better grow up.

 

[mmc6880]

Ok.. I suppose that was advice and I should say thank you, however I didn't want to write a novel on here, so you are terribly incorrect about me. First, the letter says that I am the "victim" and it included a victims rights pamplet... so I assumed that they charged him with a crime against me. Second, I only called the police after I had repeatedly asked him to leave and he would not. He can and has become violent when he has been drinking and I didnt want the situation to become any worse.

 

[mmc6880]

I should also add that I never requested to have him served with a trespass warrant it was just given to him because of what had happend. I have tried to have the warrant lifted, but I am unable to do so. I only have the choice not to call the police. I didn't want to call, I didnt want him arrested, I felt I had no choice due to his irrational behavior.

 

[fairisfair]

uh, yeah sure okay.

It's all your fault, and now it's none of your doing.

You do have a problem actually picking one thing and kinda sticking to it, don'tcha??

Restraining orders are for people who are in danger, not for game playing.

Bet he won't be so anxious to see your face again. And you won't have to worry about him "trespassing".

 

[stormyautumn]

.He can and has become violent when he has been drinking and I didnt want the situation to become any worse.

And tell us again why you are trying to protect him..Let alone be with him!!!

 

[mmc6880]

It wasnt a restraining order! It was a trespass warrant from my home only. I didnt ask for it, It was just a piece of paper the officer handed me the night they came out to ask him to leave. I never had to go to court, I realy wasnt sure what it meant. I went to the sherriff dept. the next day to get more info and all they said was that it was just a warning to let him know that he was not allowed to come to my home without beiing invited. I didnt think it was as big a deal as it appears to be. I never wanted him to be arrested or to go to jail. I was just afraid that he would do something to me or himself. He was realy drunk and he has done some realy dumb things before when he gets like that. I am not a complete idiot, but I do love him very much and I dont know what to do. He shouldnt be in jail, he may need counceling, but not jail time. I didnt mean for this to happen, I just didnt know what else to do..

 

[mmc6880]

I never said it was all my fault nor did I ever imply that I had no part in all of it. Either way, I am sorry. It seems that I must not be saying this right, because I dont understand why you all are being so harsh towards me. I am not spoiled, selfish or any of those things. I simply love someone who on most days is wonderful and caring and kind... and at other times can be dangerous and harmful, and its those times that I am not sure what I am supposed to do. I always try to keep things calm, but that night when I spoke with him on the phone, I knew he was already drunk and that is why I said that I didn't want him to come. I just wanted to avoid another situation like this.. Anyhow, the advice I am going to take from this is.. just don't ever ask anyone for help.

 

[Welcome 2 CO]

Don't worry mm - they are equal opportunity boors. Everyone who comes on to ask for help gets badgered instead.

No offense, mm, but you do sound like a victim of domestic violence. You called the police because you were afraid based on the "stupid" things he has done in the past when he was drunk. It is also victim behavior to recant statements, feel remorse for calling the police and feel bad.

If by stupid you mean frightening or violent, then your remorse over his arrest could be based in fear. I have gone through the same thought process with my STBX husband over the last 5 years. I woud feel remorse and believe his apologies, but instead of dealing with his inability to keep his hands to himself, he got worse. If your boyfriend has been abusive to you he probably won't stop just because you ask him to or because he promises to. Please get some info from a local women's shelter because he could hurt you.

 

[LdiJ]

People are being harsh with you because one of two things is going on.

Either he really is a violent drunk, and you are being foolish by staying with him and trying to prevent him from getting in trouble.

Or, he really isn't dangerous to you, and you are using the police frivolously, and have caused him problems that you shouldn't have caused.

Its one or the other....and I suspect that its the first scenario.

 

[mmc6880]

Thank you for the kind words (Welcome to CO) I was nearly in tears by everyones responses. I turned to this site for some help not knowing who else to talk to about this. When I first met him I had a lot of friends, but since I have been with him, I have lost most of them. He always expected me to "put him before my friends" Now I realy don't have any. I feel so alone. I am not sure what I can do, if I can do anything at all, and if I even should. The truth is, he will most likely be going to prison in the next few months anyway for a violent crime he commited against someone else in May. (long story) Anyway, his bail was set at 50,000.00 for that, and I know that he wont be able to come up with the bail now for this. I just feel bad that he posted the 5,000 in bail back in june to be able to have his freedom during his trial and now he is right back in jail. I haven't been able to speak with him, and I am not sure how angry he is with me. I want to be able to speak in court so that he can hear that I am wanting the charges dropped. Is that possible or am I just going to be able to sit there quiet wile he glares at me?? I realy have no idea how this works..

 

[Just Blue]

Thank you for the kind words (Welcome to CO) I was nearly in tears by everyones responses. I turned to this site for some help not knowing who else to talk to about this. When I first met him I had a lot of friends, but since I have been with him, I have lost most of them. He always expected me to "put him before my friends" Now I realy don't have any. I feel so alone. I am not sure what I can do, if I can do anything at all, and if I even should. The truth is, he will most likely be going to prison in the next few months anyway for a violent crime he commited against someone else in May. (long story) Anyway, his bail was set at 50,000.00 for that, and I know that he wont be able to come up with the bail now for this. I just feel bad that he posted the 5,000 in bail back in june to be able to have his freedom during his trial and now he is right back in jail. I haven't been able to speak with him, and I am not sure how angry he is with me. I want to be able to speak in court so that he can hear that I am wanting the charges dropped. Is that possible or am I just going to be able to sit there quiet wile he glares at me?? I realy have no idea how this works..

Okay...This is gonna sound harsh but please keep in mind that I, myself, was in a long term abusive relationship.

If you want to play games with the legal system don't be surprised when you loose control of the outcome. Next time boyfriend comes over to your home after being told to stay away...Do NOTHING! Do not call the police. It is not their job to babysit your BF or to play relationship counselor. So DO NOT INVOLVE THEM IN YOUR SPATS WITH THE DRUNKEN, VIOLENT BOYFRIEND! Just pray that next time you live to see the following morning.

I seriously recommend DV counseling for you. I will guess this isn't the first abusive relationship you have been involved in...You need help. This site is for legal questions...you will get a legal answer. If you want support you will not get it here ...at least not from a member worthy of consideration...We will not tell you how to take a shortcut to a coffin. For that you need to go to www.enjoysbeingbeaten.com

 

[mmc6880]

The letter I recieved reads: "As the victim, you have the right to be present at the arraignment; however, your attendance is not required." My question is, If I am not required to be at the arraignment, is it safe to assume that I will not be given the oppertunity to speak at the arraignment in order to clarify the events of that evening?

 

[Just Blue]

The letter I recieved reads: "As the victim, you have the right to be present at the arraignment; however, your attendance is not required." My question is, If I am not required to be at the arraignment, is it safe to assume that I will not be given the oppertunity to speak at the arraignment in order to clarify the events of that evening?

No, it is not a trial. At the trial you will be asked to testify by either the DA or the defense attorney. You can rewrite history then. But be aware that your "false" statements to the police in the police report can be used to prosecute YOU! So you best think long and hard if this nasty, violent, drunk, woman beating creep is worth a stay in prison.

 

[mmc6880]

Ok, but I have already requested that the charges be dropped. Will that even come up during the arraignment? What exactly is an arraignment? Will this go to a trial?! I also didn't make any false statements in my police report, I just did not tell the officer that I had spoken with him earlier in the day and that I had been aware that he had planned to be here that night. From what I had heard from others is that if I was aware at any point during that day that he had planned to come over and I had not made it clear to him that he was not to come over, then he is not guilty of trespassing. Could I have charges put on me for not giving a full hour by hour account of the evening?? I did go to the DA on that following monday to explain the circumstances, but he didn't seem very interested in the details. I filed a request to have the charges dropped, and that was all that I could do.