violation of trespass warrant.. please help!

[peppier]

I have some non-legal advice for you, if you love your boyfriend, go to al-anon. Get well and you will be a help for him.

 

[Ohiogal]

Ok, but I have already requested that the charges be dropped. Will that even come up during the arraignment? What exactly is an arraignment? Will this go to a trial?! I also didn't make any false statements in my police report, I just did not tell the officer that I had spoken with him earlier in the day and that I had been aware that he had planned to be here that night. From what I had heard from others is that if I was aware at any point during that day that he had planned to come over and I had not made it clear to him that he was not to come over, then he is not guilty of trespassing. Could I have charges put on me for not giving a full hour by hour account of the evening?? I did go to the DA on that following monday to explain the circumstances, but he didn't seem very interested in the details. I filed a request to have the charges dropped, and that was all that I could do.

You are wrong. If you told him to leave and he did not then he is guilty of trespassing. The fact that you called the police and told them you told him to leave and he didn't is enough. Oh and you not giving the entire facts could also come back to haunt you. You could have charges against you if the DA can show that you left out relevant facts in order to have him arrested.

 

[VeronicaLodge]

I should also add that I never requested to have him served with a trespass warrant it was just given to him because of what had happend. I have tried to have the warrant lifted, but I am unable to do so. I only have the choice not to call the police. I didn't want to call, I didnt want him arrested, I felt I had no choice due to his irrational behavior.

Do not take the blame for this person not taking responsibility for his own actions! he did this to himself and its best he learns now how to avoid such things from happening again in the future. If he blames you for it, you need to get far away from him and forever.

 

[CJane]

Do not take the blame for this person not taking responsibility for his own actions! he did this to himself and its best he learns now how to avoid such things from happening again in the future. If he blames you for it, you need to get far away from him and forever.

She invited him to her home repeatedly AFTER the no tresspass order was issued/served. She ENCOURAGED him to violate it over and over again INCLUDING the night she had him arrested. She called him at the time he was DUE TO ARRIVE and told him not to come over and then had him arrested saying she hadn't invited him over.

Except she had.

It is her fault.

 

[mmc6880]

That is true CJane, I have welcomed him into my home many times since the warrant was served, however, I had never requested that it be served at all. The evening that the warrant was served, he had followed me back to my home after he had seen me and a girl friend out at a local night club. At that time, we had recently decided to seperate. Anyway, he had become angry because he didn't approve of my choice of clothing. His verbal and physical actions had him thrown out of the club by security. He went outside and proceeded to kick and beat his own car. When he appeared at my home, the friend that I was with became very worried, and she called the police. When they arrived, all I asked was that he be told to leave. I was given the paper (trespass warrant) unaware what it was at the time. After working things out with him, I did try to have the warrant lifted. I was told that I was not able to do that. The other night I did speak with him throughout the day. I did know that he had been planning to be here later that night. I did not give him a definative answer at that time as we have been recently been working on some big issues, and we were not sure where the relationship was going. I had asked that he call around 10pm.. by 10:30 he had not called, so I called him. I could tell that he had been out drinking, and I decided that I didn't want to deal with like that.. so, I did say that I didn't think it was a good night, and that I would talk with him the next day. As I was speaking with him on the phone, he appeared at my door. I asked that he leave. I woulld talk with him as long as he liked on the phone, but that I did not want to have him inside. I asked that he leave repeatedly and he insisted that I let him in. He became irrational, saying that he would bang on my neighbors door and wake her up if I didn't??? He was acting like he does when he is drunk and not getting his way, that scared me. The more he got upset the more I was sure I was not opening the door! I only told the police that I had not invited him, well, because I realy didn't, but also I was afraid to say that I had known of his plan to visit in fear that they would leave him there at my door even more angry. I honestly wish I could go back and change the situation, but I can't. I am now confused.. did he or did he not trespass? Am I or am I not guilty of lying to the police? Am I possibly facing charges for not telling the whole story? In my defense, I did go to the DA office the very next business day to tell the whole true story... I don't know if now I am going to need a lawyer?

 

[mmc6880]

If I am guilty of not telling the whole story that night to the police and that alone resulted in him being wrongly arrested and jailed, could I then be sent to jal? I did try to set the story straight the next day.. I was afraid, and made a rash decison at the time. I did not intentionally try to have him arrested on false statements. I do however admit that I omitted important details that night. Should I speak to an attorney?

 

[FinallyHappy]

You see how you're acting, this is exactly how I was. You need to talk to a therapist ASAP, it really does help. This man is mentally abusing you and controlling your every move and you are allowing him to. Not for nothing but you are acting like the boy that cried wolf, and eventually the cops are going to get disgusted with you. I don't know every detail about the law like some of the members here do but I can tell you that if you are cross examined you are going to get torn apart, trust me, it's no fun! The DA probably didnt listen to you becasue they're not your attorney, you are not entitled to an attorney. He needs an attorney becasue that is within his constitutional right to have one.

 

[mmc6880]

I don't know what else to do? I am afraid that I will be charged with something because I did not telll the officer the whole story. I lied and told the officer that I had not had contact with him. I was scared and I didn't know what to say. I didn't want for them to leave him there.. I am hoping that if I can have the charges dropped, then this will all just be over. I understand that at this point I don't need an attorney, but is it reasonable to contact one in order to avoid having this turn around on me?

 

[Just Blue]

I don't know what else to do? I am afraid that I will be charged with something because I did not telll the officer the whole story. I lied and told the officer that I had not had contact with him. I was scared and I didn't know what to say. I didn't want for them to leave him there.. I am hoping that if I can have the charges dropped, then this will all just be over. I understand that at this point I don't need an attorney, but is it reasonable to contact one in order to avoid having this turn around on me?

I really believe your best recourse at this time is to contact a Domestic Violence Counselor. You really need help.

 

[mmc6880]

I agree that speaking with a counselor is something that I need to do, however, I do not have health insurance and have no idea where I would go for those services. Would any of you have any suggestions on where I can go for help in my situation? I also want to thank you all (harsh or not!) for your input. I honestly appreciate all of your help.

 

[Just Blue]

I agree that speaking with a counselor is something that I need to do, however, I do not have health insurance and have no idea where I would go for those services. Would any of you have any suggestions on where I can go for help in my situation? I also want to thank you all (harsh or not!) for your input. I honestly appreciate all of your help.

What county are you in? Most DVC is free by the way...In my area they even come to your home if you don't have transportation...

If you want to talk turn on your Private Messaging and I will give you my #...I work with DV victims and truly can understand why you do what you do. But you do not have to live this way any more. It really is your choice to live happily and without this kind of strife in your life. Counseling can help you to find your inner-strength to have a happy and safe future. I will bet this isn't your first violent relationship...But unless you change it won't be your last. There are good men out there, but you have to know what to look for and what to run from.

 

[222242]

mm, I would go to your local women's shelter before anyone else. They have a lot of resources and can give you counseling and you can join groups, too.

 

[Just Blue]

mm, I would go to your local women's shelter before anyone else. They have a lot of resources and can give you counseling and you can join groups, too.

mmm...ya...She has been advised and given links to local resources for help.

 

[222242]

My advice to op - don't take help from someone who is questionable. No need to question people at the shelter.

 

[LdiJ]

Yeah...Like this poster...S/he/it has already been banned from this site.

I normally don't get this way about newbies who mess up at first, I am a little more tolerant than some of the others, but this one really needs to be banned permanently.

We are all volunteers here, and don't need cyberstalkers.