Violence and pregnancy

[goodneighbor2]

What is the name of your state? IL

I'm writing because I'm worried about my sister. She is married and almost 5 months pregnant. Last night, she was talking to her husband about what she wanted to get done before the baby arrives. He yelled at her, she yelled back, he insulted her and she hit him. She's 125 soaking wet and 5 months pregnant. He's about 250 and 6'2". She turned to leave and he shoved her with his foot. she almost fell, then turned and said, What, are you going to hit a pregnant woman?" and he did, twice.

She left their home and is staying with his sister. Even his own parents say he's a jerk. We want her to document the abuse, but she is afraid that will make him more violent and she thinks it was her fault too. Now, I understand, that my sister can be annoying and argumentative. That doesn't give him any right to hit her, especially when she's pregnant. She's not going to stay with him. I think the abuse has been going on but she hasn't told us about it before.

Without having the abuse documented, I'm afraid that may hurt her in divorce/custody proceedings. Can someone give me some constructive advice, please?

 

[stealth2]

Uuuh, based on your post - she also hit him. First. What gave her that right? Frankly, maybe both should cool off behind bars.

 

[steveatx]

That sounds like a good idea. Gestating a fetus doesn't give your sister a free pass to assault or beat whoever she likes.

 

[fairisfair]

Great home to be bringing a baby into

 

[goodneighbor2]

Oh, so just because she hit him for insulting her, it's ok for him to shove her in the back when she turns to walk away, then hit hit her twice more after that?

Thanks so much for your constructive advice.

 

[fairisfair]

Oh, so just because she hit him for insulting her, it's ok for him to shove her in the back when she turns to walk away, then hit hit her twice more after that?

Thanks so much for your constructive advice.

Oh so just because he insulted her and she is pregnant it is okay for her to hit him?

Actually none of it is okay, and it sure as he** isn't a good place to be bringing a baby to.

Yes, tell your sister to call the police, they will both get arrested for DV and maybe they will get the help they both obviously need before the poor little baby gets in the middle of one of their slapping, shoving, kicking matches.

 

[stealth2]

Oh, so just because she hit him for insulting her, it's ok for him to shove her in the back when she turns to walk away, then hit hit her twice more after that?

Thanks so much for your constructive advice.

Here's what you're missing. It's not okay for EITHER of them to hit the other. But her being pregnant gives her no more of a pass than his being bigger. They're both wrong. And they should both suffer consequences. And neither should be bringing a child into that environment. Period.

As far as I'm concerned, they're welcome to beat one another to a bloody pulp and leave the other for dead for all I care. But the child should be protected from their idiocy. Too bad you'd rather enable your sister.

 

[CdwJava]

Oh, so just because she hit him for insulting her, it's ok for him to shove her in the back when she turns to walk away, then hit hit her twice more after that?

Thanks so much for your constructive advice.

Her battery against him makes her guilty of the same crime as he is accused of. In fact, she could be seen as the primary aggressor because she is the one who hit him first. This is not a moral answer, it is a legal one.

Legally an insult does NOT justify assault and battery.

- Carl

 

[AHA]

What is the name of your state? IL

I'm writing because I'm worried about my sister. She is married and almost 5 months pregnant. Last night, she was talking to her husband about what she wanted to get done before the baby arrives. He yelled at her, she yelled back, he insulted her and she hit him. She's 125 soaking wet and 5 months pregnant. He's about 250 and 6'2". She turned to leave and he shoved her with his foot. she almost fell, then turned and said, What, are you going to hit a pregnant woman?" and he did, twice.

She left their home and is staying with his sister. Even his own parents say he's a jerk. We want her to document the abuse, but she is afraid that will make him more violent and she thinks it was her fault too. Now, I understand, that my sister can be annoying and argumentative. That doesn't give him any right to hit her, especially when she's pregnant. She's not going to stay with him. I think the abuse has been going on but she hasn't told us about it before.

Without having the abuse documented, I'm afraid that may hurt her in divorce/custody proceedings. Can someone give me some constructive advice, please?

They should both be reported for the same criminal offense.

The fact that she is "too scared" to report him doesn't jive with the kind of personality you say she has. Surely you can figure out why she doesn't want to report him, can't you? It's because she knows she is guilty of the same crime and would look just as bad as daddy when it comes down to child custody.

It's time for them to stop being selfish and take MAJOR parenting classes AND anger management therapy before the poor, unfortunate, doomed kid is born.

It's a pity any morons out there can procreate!!!!

 

[Ohiogal]

Oh, so just because she hit him for insulting her, it's ok for him to shove her in the back when she turns to walk away, then hit hit her twice more after that?

Thanks so much for your constructive advice.

Legally she is lucky she didn't go to jail. SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO BE HITTING HIM. I dont care if he called her an F'ing ***t. She is NOT ALLOWED to place her hands on him. He is just as big a jerk. Shoved her in the back huh? In some places she would be seen as the instigator for hitting him and then TELLING HIM to hit her. You don't like that? TOUGH. She is not allowed to put her hands on another person. Neither is he. If she doesn't like that then she should learn to walk away. They both need anger management.

 

[GrowUp!]

Oh, so just because she hit him for insulting her, it's ok for him to shove her in the back when she turns to walk away, then hit hit her twice more after that?

Are you ALWAYS this clueless?
And how would you react if HE was the one who marched to the courthouse and filed a restraining order AGAINST HER??!
Standby...the "clue train" might be coming back around...let us know if you catch it.