Visitation denied again!!

[Sandwalk]

What is the name of your state?Iowa
I am court ordered to let my ex know 4 weeks in advance the dates and the times that I want to have my son for the summer. I did this. Now...today I received a letter from her saying that she already had plans and that the dates that I want him will not work out again!! She is always denying me visitation and if and when I get to see him is always on her terms. The times that I wanted to have him were dates that he could come when my stepkids are here also. They have to go visit their dad too this summer. Can she deny me visitation just because she feels like it....always telling me that she has made other plans? She lives 5 hours away from me.
Thank you for any help you can give me!

 

[tigger22472]

As long as you gave her the 4 weeks required in the CO notice then you SHOULD be entitled to the visitation. I say SHOULD because I don't know her reasoning nor the circumstances she is trying to use. AND keep in mind, in people that continually deny visitation when it comes to push comes to shove in a court room she might attempt to come up with a reason that is legit.. I don't know. The only thing you can do is take it to court and force the issue.

 

[Zephyr]

what does you co say specifically? if it just says you have to notify her of the dates but does not say anything regarding her approval of the dates then she can not withhold the visitation. if that is the case I would make a copy of that highlight the appropriate sections and mail it to her with a letter restating your dates and telling her that you intend to take your visitation as planned. she really should not be making plans for the kids until after she has your dates anyway.

 

[Sandwalk]

It only says this:
The parties shall follow the visitation as set out below:
Two(2) weeks in the summer with four (4) weeks notice to the Petitioner.

That is it. She is always pulling this crap on me!! She says that she has plans for a family outing,I really doubt it since she always says that and never does anything in the end.
I will make a copy and send it to her.....thank you for the good advice!!

 

[casa]

It only says this:
The parties shall follow the visitation as set out below:
Two(2) weeks in the summer with four (4) weeks notice to the Petitioner.

That is it. She is always pulling this crap on me!! She says that she has plans for a family outing,I really doubt it since she always says that and never does anything in the end.
I will make a copy and send it to her.....thank you for the good advice!!

Send it certified mail- return receipt. Show up for the visitation of follow through with the court ordered visitation plan...file a police report if she denies you.

Sorry you are still going through this. Keep documenting and filing reports- She'll eventually hang herself.

 

[Sandwalk]

Thank you casa! I know that it will never end but I at least want to do it by the book. I figure it will help me in the end.
I will send it certified mail-return receipt....thank you for your help!

 

[scochell]

You tell her when.....

My husband had the exact same situation about about 4 years ago. We drove 8 hours to pick up the kids for his spring break visitation. When we got there, his ex had left with the kids and drove down to our area to visit her family. He had given the proper notice and the kids knew he was coming. Be sure to ALWAYS keep copies of your notices to her and have your divorce judgement handy. We went straight to the police to handle it. We had everything showing the kids were suppose to be with my husband. The police in so many words informed her father, who she was living with at the time, that it would be in his best interests to contact his daughter and inform her that parental abduction charges were being filed against her and for her to immediatley take the kids to my inlaws house where we picked them up later after driving 8 eight hours back home. She immediately complied. While the charges ended up being dismissed, concluding a misunderstanding, she has never pulled that again in almost 5 years. You have in writing your rights for visitation. Use them and don't give in. Be consistent with your visitations and don't ever stray from the paperwork, it will end up coming to bite you later. Keep a good paper trail, it works every time.

 

[Sandwalk]

My husband had the exact same situation about about 4 years ago. We drove 8 hours to pick up the kids for his spring break visitation. When we got there, his ex had left with the kids and drove down to our area to visit her family. He had given the proper notice and the kids knew he was coming. Be sure to ALWAYS keep copies of your notices to her and have your divorce judgement handy. We went straight to the police to handle it. We had everything showing the kids were suppose to be with my husband. The police in so many words informed her father, who she was living with at the time, that it would be in his best interests to contact his daughter and inform her that parental abduction charges were being filed against her and for her to immediatley take the kids to my inlaws house where we picked them up later after driving 8 eight hours back home. She immediately complied. While the charges ended up being dismissed, concluding a misunderstanding, she has never pulled that again in almost 5 years. You have in writing your rights for visitation. Use them and don't give in. Be consistent with your visitations and don't ever stray from the paperwork, it will end up coming to bite you later. Keep a good paper trail, it works every time.

Thank you for your advice! This behavior from her is getting so old!! I have sent her and her lawyer a copy of the visitation schedule. Letting her know that I will be at the the halfway meeting place at such and such a time. I have sent hers certified-return receipt and will keep it in a file and take it along. I will be there at the time stated and if she does not show I will contact the police. Thanks!

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for your advice! This behavior from her is getting so old!! I have sent her and her lawyer a copy of the visitation schedule. Letting her know that I will be at the the halfway meeting place at such and such a time. I have sent hers certified-return receipt and will keep it in a file and take it along. I will be there at the time stated and if she does not show I will contact the police. Thanks!

If she does not show at the halfway point then you really need to drive all the way to her home to attempt to pick up the kids. That is much more effective.

 

[Sandwalk]

If she does not show at the halfway point then you really need to drive all the way to her home to attempt to pick up the kids. That is much more effective.

Would you just show up or call and make sure she is home? I would have to drive 5 hours which would make a 10 hour trip.
Thanks.

 

[Zephyr]

I totally see where LDij is coming from, go to the meeting point buy something with your cc to prove you were there, wait half hour call ex to see if she is just running late, if she says she is not allowing visitation buy another item to prove you were there for period of time, including when you called her. Then yes if you can swing it at all drive to her home to get the kids, if she won't release them at that time call the police and ask them to enforce the order or at least file a report.

if this goes back to court you will have gone above and beyond to use your right to visitation and she has still denied it- not good.

I would probably not tell mom when you call her that you will be coming to her town to get the kids.

 

[Sandwalk]

I totally see where LDij is coming from, go to the meeting point buy something with your cc to prove you were there, wait half hour call ex to see if she is just running late, if she says she is not allowing visitation buy another item to prove you were there for period of time, including when you called her. Then yes if you can swing it at all drive to her home to get the kids, if she won't release them at that time call the police and ask them to enforce the order or at least file a report.

if this goes back to court you will have gone above and beyond to use your right to visitation and she has still denied it- not good.

I would probably not tell mom when you call her that you will be coming to her town to get the kids.

Sounds like a plan! It would be nice if she would start acting like an adult about all of this!! Yeah right!