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Visitation Driving Situation

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M

monikc

Guest
What is the name of your state? California

My childs father lives about 100 miles away, and has her every other weekend. Am I obligated to drive her one way? Or, does the non-custodial parent need to pick the child up, and bring them home?
 


Bre's_mom

Member
What does your parenting plan say? If it states in there that you are to drive one way and he is to drive one way then you have to follow it... :cool:
 
M

monikc

Guest
We don't have a court order on this. It is all verbal at this point.
 

CMSC

Senior Member
get a court order! Were you married? Did dad move away from you or did you move from him? You really need to get a visitation order set up. If you and dad are agreeing to him being the NCP and having EOW then go take that agreement to court and have it signed by a judge and you can put in there that if either party moves so far away they are responsible for travel. You can have it say that you will meet him half way also. It is just up to you. May be a good idea to involve a mediator in this.
 
M

monikc

Guest
she is 6 years old, and he had never seen her or attempted to contact us until I took him to court for child support last month. We were never married, and we both have always lived 100 miles apart.
 
4

4gals1guy

Guest
Until you get an order, you don't need to drive her there, or let her go with him. It would be good if you could get along with him and trust him, but since your daughter is 6 and this is the first time you're dealing with this, proceed with caution. What if he keeps her and tells the court he wants custody? Check the laws in your state about who has custody if parents were not married.
 

lparty

Member
Does anybody know what they do in a situation like that. Will the courts usually make the other do half the driving? In our situation my husband ex said she would come down once a month and we would go up there once a month. However she hasn't driven him down since last December. The agreement which was drawn up at the mediation was very vague. It only says "What the parties agreed apon." So, we can't hold her in comptempt. It doesn't elaborate what the agreed apon. So we are going to have to go back to mediation to have a more specific agreement drawn up. I was just wondering if a judge will make her do it.
 
4

4gals1guy

Guest
I think they'll typically make you split it unless one person has chosen to move further away or something. In our case, it is split 50/50. We asked to meet half way on Friday and Sunday. They asked to drive on Friday and us on Sunday. The court sided with them, stating a meeting place would be inconvenient if someone was a little late, which does happen. It's working out pretty good this way. Occasionally we switch the day we drive, if other plans come up. It's easy to not give in until you want the other side to do you a favor. In the end, we've both become fairly flexible.
 

CMSC

Senior Member
lparty said:
Does anybody know what they do in a situation like that. Will the courts usually make the other do half the driving? In our situation my husband ex said she would come down once a month and we would go up there once a month. However she hasn't driven him down since last December. The agreement which was drawn up at the mediation was very vague. It only says "What the parties agreed apon." So, we can't hold her in comptempt. It doesn't elaborate what the agreed apon. So we are going to have to go back to mediation to have a more specific agreement drawn up. I was just wondering if a judge will make her do it.
My husband and I were wondering about this so he looked up CA law (IAAL will correct me if I am wrong) and it states "If an order is silent the,
"custodial parent would have total responsibility
for any such costs. The reason is simple: a non-custodial
parent's legal liability is measured by the court
order. If the non-custodial parent is not ordered
to do something, liability does not generally exist."
 

karma1

Senior Member
hold the surfboards kids...

please tell me where you found that and when this law was inacted?
MY husband, as you know, is the NCP-the CP has demanded that he pay all travel costs and even thinks a verbal statement by a CSE commissionare, not a court order, is fact and he has to pay if he wants to see his children...CA is their home state, Ca has jurisdiction...
this could get interesting;)
 
W

whocar1570

Guest
OK im only 16, but here are my observations of how my (ex) stepbrother's custody issue went:

A court order was agreed upon by my (now ex) stepfather around the time of 1991 or so. This wound up including that he could NOT move out of state with his son. He neglected to tell my mother this, and my parents were in huge legal trouble, all the fault of my lying, alchoholic stepfather. But about the driving:
We had to drive HIM the hour and a half (each way), but that MAY have been an agreement in a settlement NOT to sue for full custody do to our moving out of state, and breaking the agreement. Then again, she went on to kidnap him at a later date, requiring a court order to get him back (courts STILL held up visitation rights for her). So get the court settlement, STICK TO IT, and maybe trade off days. It will keep the peace, im sure. Thats my two cents.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
All I can say is.......

I provide half the transportation - and at 365 miles each way, I'd jump at driving both ways if it was only 100 miles. Lighten up - drive the 4 hours so he can spend time with your and his kid.
 

Bre's_mom

Member
I agree with momma_tiger, it should'nt matter how far it is, your child needs to be in her fathers life. It's very important that children are in both parents lives.
 

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