visitation for out of state with astranged ncp

[macs98]

i am from missouri and my childs ncp is out of state and he hasn't seen our child in 9 years and he hasn't talk to our child in 7 years. the only time he contacts our child is when i request a modification order. he is remarried and so am i. he has other children and so do i. i have control and custody of our child. our child wants to see him but doesn't want to go out of state atleast not yet because of the time that has lapse since our child saw him last or talk to him. he told our child that if i don't let our child go with him he would have me thrown in jail. can he legally do this when he has been astrange ncp for 7 to 9 years. he owes back child support and the only way i get the little bit that i get is the state has to garnish his wages and garnish his federal tax return. i told him he could come to our town to visit our child if he really wants to see our child but he told me that he will only come to get our child and take our child out of state to his home. i can't let this happen! please some one help me find out what my stand is!!!!

 

[freeride]

im going thru a thing like that,we have set visits too,
like he is to come to childs state for a [weekend visit] like in sept.,oct.,nov., and then dec. the child goes to his state for a week ,he is only showing up for that one..
so anybody with suggestions of how to keep visitations in childs state>>>>>>>>>>
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he told me that he will only come to get our child and take our child out of state to his home.

 

[macs98]

visitations

he hasn't even seen or talk to her in 7 to 9 years and just because i modified to court order him and his wife want to become the lovable father after all these years. i don't know what to do! i'm going to talk to the prosicuting attorney today and ask her what are my rights in this matter. i'm glad i'm not the only parent that this is happening to. i'm scared because the statement has been made that if he gets her that he will say that i abandon my child and get temporary custody of her and i won't see her. his wife is the one that pushes this but they only do this when i modify the court order on child support other than that they don't even try to contact her. what would you suggest i do?

 

[freeride]

anybody with suggestions

so have you gotten any other advice on [but he told me that he will only come to get our child and take our child out of state to his home].
[CURIOUS cause the ncp i deal with has set visits in my state once a month[he dont use] and the child goes to his state oct.and june.[those are the ones he shows up for]
so i was wondering how to keep [all] visits in childs state??indiana.

[Edited by freeride on 06-04-2001 at 03:06 PM]

 

[Ambr]

what you are asking to do is to limit the "natural rights" of the father to a relationship with his child by placing a restriction on it.

as a mother, i can definitely see your concerns. there has basically been no relationship between the father and the child. but the judge laid the decree out that way and for you to refuse it places you in contempt of court. you are second guessing a judge and they don't like that to much. the way it stands your ex looks like he is being unjustly punished and that you are being vindictive.

you need to prove to the courts that there has been no established relationship with the father. that your child is interested in developing that relationship, but is insecure about long duration visits. the child hardly knows this man. you want to establish a visitation pattern that will enable the child to get to know the father and feel safe and secure with him and still keep the child comfortable.

as the mother, you can offer this suggestion, but you can't prove where that will be in the best interest of the child. only a professional could do that. that means a counselor or a psychologist to recommend it to a judge. this could get expensive.

you might check with social services and see if there are any county run health centers in your area. they see patients on a sliding scale and the fees are reduced and sometimes free for their services. if you could get a professional to state that supervised visitation are in the best interests of the child you have a better leg to stand on.