Visitation issues

[alonzobaby32]

What is the name of your state? GA

Hi all, I have a slight issue with my ex and his visitation. We have a court order and I understand that visitation is a right not an obligation. However, I always make our child available for ALL visitation but he always either cancel or comes extremely late. My problem is I have scheduled obligations that I must meet when my ex comes to get our child. When he cancels that interrupts my plans and I'm force to cancel each and everytime.

Question: Do I have to continue with the cancellation of my plans when my ex is suppose to come and can I take this back to court to help me with this? He seems to be free to do whatever he wants and cancels on me so that I have to interrupt my plans

Thanks

 

[CJane]

You should have a back-up plan ALWAYS.

Sometimes you can get a court to modify an order to include language that he would forfeit his visitation if he's more than X number of minutes late (30 or so) AND to state that IF he forfeits his visitation, he must also pay the associated costs of a babysitter for you for the time period he was supposed to have the kid(s).

However, that doesn't let you off the hook for actually MAKING the alternate arrangements.

 

[CourtClerk]

You should have a back-up plan ALWAYS.

Sometimes you can get a court to modify an order to include language that he would forfeit his visitation if he's more than X number of minutes late (30 or so)

agreed

AND to state that IF he forfeits his visitation, he must also pay the associated costs of a babysitter for you for the time period he was supposed to have the kid(s).

I think that'd be a little hard to enforce... besides... that would then (very loosely) be making it his obligation.

However, that doesn't let you off the hook for actually MAKING the alternate arrangements.

Agreed again.. oh.. and you have mail over at the other place.

 

[CJane]

I think that'd be a little hard to enforce... besides... that would then (very loosely) be making it his obligation.

Well yeah, it's nearly IMPOSSIBLE to enforce. But it CAN be added to the order.

At the end of the day though, if NCP doesn't feel like visiting, NCP just ain't gonna visit.

 

[alonzobaby32]

Well yeah, it's nearly IMPOSSIBLE to enforce. But it CAN be added to the order.

At the end of the day though, if NCP doesn't feel like visiting, NCP just ain't gonna visit.

So I guess I have to be stuck with him going and coming whenever he wants. I have to alter my plans and still continue to forster a relationship with ex and child, while he run wild.

 

[Silverplum]

So I guess I have to be stuck with him going and coming whenever he wants. I have to alter my plans and still continue to forster a relationship with ex and child, while he run wild.

Yes. That's true. Except for the "alter my plans" part. That part, as you have been told, you can try to tighten up via court order.

 

[CJane]

So I guess I have to be stuck with him going and coming whenever he wants. I have to alter my plans and still continue to forster a relationship with ex and child, while he run wild.

Yup.

Basically, everything he ever did to make you crazy when you were together? He's gonna keep on doing them. Only now, the courts are involved and you HAVE to facilitate that relationship no matter what kind of schmoron* you think he is.

*word invented by my boss's 7 year old. schmuck+moron

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Document, document, document. If child support is based on the number of times the child is with daddy, and he doesn't, then you can probably get the child support RAISED. Keep track of when dad does pick up child.

 

[Silverplum]

If child support is based on the number of times the child is with daddy, and he doesn't, then you can probably get the child support RAISED.

I don't see any indication that GA plays the game that way:
http://www.ocse.dhr.georgia.gov/portal/site/DHR-OCSE/menuitem.f3ca900e75789bd18e738510da1010a0/?vgnextoid=bd5a10ad92000010VgnVCM100000bf01010aRCRD

 

[majomom1]

Yes. That's true. Except for the "alter my plans" part. That part, as you have been told, you can try to tighten up via court order.

OP doesn't HAVE to alter her plans. Make a backup plan for family, friends or an old fashioned babysitter so you can still keep the plans.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I don't see any indication that GA plays the game that way:
http://www.ocse.dhr.georgia.gov/portal/site/DHR-OCSE/menuitem.f3ca900e75789bd18e738510da1010a0/?vgnextoid=bd5a10ad92000010VgnVCM100000bf01010aRCRD

True - I didn't research it. But the documentation part will come in handy when daddy dearest tries to expand his parenting time and there is proof that he doesn't exercise what he currently is given.

 

[alonzobaby32]

Yup.

Basically, everything he ever did to make you crazy when you were together? He's gonna keep on doing them. Only now, the courts are involved and you HAVE to facilitate that relationship no matter what kind of schmoron* you think he is.

*word invented by my boss's 7 year old. schmuck+moron

Basically I'm up the creek without a paddle...MEN always have choices weather right or wrong, usually wrong choices. Women get stomped on always, oh well. Guess I have to just deal until either one of us die.

 

[Silverplum]

Basically I'm up the creek without a paddle...MEN always have choices weather right or wrong, usually wrong choices. Women get stomped on always, oh well. Guess I have to just deal until either one of us die.

Oh, grow up. That's ridiculous.

 

[alonzobaby32]

Oh, grow up. That's ridiculous.

sure thing

 

[CJane]

Basically I'm up the creek without a paddle...MEN always have choices weather right or wrong, usually wrong choices. Women get stomped on always, oh well. Guess I have to just deal until either one of us die.

That's not entirely true.

He didn't have the CHOICE for you to maintain the pregnancy. And he didn't have a CHOICE about whether or not, once adjudicated as the father, he was ordered to pay support. And he didn't have a CHOICE about being the NCP ... and won't ever have that CHOICE. And, if you die, he'll have no CHOICE but to try and figure out how to be a father.

You got to make all of the CHOICES up til baby was born. And now you have to live with them and with him and with court involvement for the next 18 or so years. That's all about CHOICES that YOU MADE.