Visitation Question

[Newlydivmomto4]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Multiple States

I have full phys and legal custody, my ex has visitation as agreed upon by both parents. My ex works in one state, his wife and child live in another state, the kids and I live in a third state. I try to be very flexible for the kids to see their dad as I understand its not easy the position he is in. My problem comes along when I try to plan something with my mother and sisters I cannot nail down a date for when the kids will be with their dad. Last year he tried to use my already planned vacation and his having the kids as leverage to get me to give him funds for taking care of our children. He has on other occasions said that he would have them visit on such and such a date and then cancelled. For instance Thanksgiving and Christmas, since I had the kids for the year I offered them to their dad, he said that was fine (verbally) and then ended up cancelling.

If I get it in writing (email) that he is going to have the kids on such and such a date can I plan something and let him be responsible for making alternative plans if he cannot follow through?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Multiple States

I have full phys and legal custody, my ex has visitation as agreed upon by both parents. My ex works in one state, his wife and child live in another state, the kids and I live in a third state. I try to be very flexible for the kids to see their dad as I understand its not easy the position he is in. My problem comes along when I try to plan something with my mother and sisters I cannot nail down a date for when the kids will be with their dad. Last year he tried to use my already planned vacation and his having the kids as leverage to get me to give him funds for taking care of our children. He has on other occasions said that he would have them visit on such and such a date and then cancelled. For instance Thanksgiving and Christmas, since I had the kids for the year I offered them to their dad, he said that was fine (verbally) and then ended up cancelling.

If I get it in writing (email) that he is going to have the kids on such and such a date can I plan something and let him be responsible for making alternative plans if he cannot follow through?

No. Even if you had a solid court order that spelled out the visitation (which I would highly recommend), when NCP does not take their time, CP has no recourse. You have to take care of your kids when NCP does not have them.

 

[wavehopper27]

The NCP has a moral and legal obligation to financially support his / her children. Visitation cannot be forced upon them.

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

The NCP has a moral and legal obligation to financially support his / her children. Visitation cannot be forced upon them.

I'm not trying to force it on him, just when he says he is going to have them for visitation that he cannot just back out because he chooses to. For instance if I were to buy tickets to fly to my mom's house to visit for a weekend because he said he would have the children. Then he renigs, I cannot afford four more plane tickets.

 

[cyjeff]

Unfortunately, you cannot force visitation upon someone. Only the financial obligation is forced.

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

Thats what I was thinking but I just wanted to be sure. Looks like any vacations I plan are with kids or I plan them last minute because he already has them. Since this year he has had them a whopping 0 days and last year a whole 10 days, looks like my vacation will come in oh, say 11 years when the youngest turns 18. Oh well. They are worth it.

 

[tuffbrk]

No friends that they can stay with for a weekend while you are gone? Perhaps you can reach an agreement with another parent that you will take their child(ren) for a weekend if they will then take yours....just a thought.

 

[TheGeekess]

I'm not trying to force it on him, just when he says he is going to have them for visitation that he cannot just back out because he chooses to. For instance if I were to buy tickets to fly to my mom's house to visit for a weekend because he said he would have the children. Then he renigs, I cannot afford four more plane tickets.

The word is RENEGE.

 

[wavehopper27]

Thats what I was thinking but I just wanted to be sure. Looks like any vacations I plan are with kids or I plan them last minute because he already has them. Since this year he has had them a whopping 0 days and last year a whole 10 days, looks like my vacation will come in oh, say 11 years when the youngest turns 18. Oh well. They are worth it.

Would trip insurance reimburse the cost of travel if the NCP backs out of picking the kids up last minute?

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

No friends that they can stay with for a weekend while you are gone? Perhaps you can reach an agreement with another parent that you will take their child(ren) for a weekend if they will then take yours....just a thought.

I have four, so to me that is just too much to ask.

The word is RENEGE.

I knew I was spelling it wrong but wasn't sure of the correct way.

Would trip insurance reimburse the cost of travel if the NCP backs out of picking the kids up last minute?

I will have to check on that.

 

[mistoffolees]

Would trip insurance reimburse the cost of travel if the NCP backs out of picking the kids up last minute?

Not likely.

 

[stealth2]

Or... Just plan on your Mom coming to you.