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visitation rights of unmarried couples

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Visitation Rights of Unmarried Parents of Infant in NY

child (11 months) was born in colorado, to unmarried couple living together. father of child forced mother to use his last name for child in hospital, threatened to leave her if she didn't. so, she did. mother, father and child came to new york for family wedding (of mother's brother). father of child caused drunken scene, was verbally and mentally abusive. mother of child decides to stay in new york with her family (she knows no one in colorado but father of baby). apparently the mental abuse, acholism, drug use and uncaring behavior of the father was the normal behavior before and after the baby was born. mother was awareded new york as jurisdiction for child (emergency jurisdiction). however, eight months later, father is insisting on seeing child and judge awarded (on the actual day of hearing) that father should be permitted to see daugher for three hours that day (without prior notice) and three hours the next day. judge didn't take previous behavior of the father into consideration before making decision. does mother have to let father see baby (11 month's old)? isn't alcholism, drug use and emotional abuse grounds for not allowing him to visit with child? also, isn't he required to pay child support if he insists on seeing the child? judge said that since he had to pay to visit the child - he lives in colorado, child lives in new york, that he should only have to pay child support or the plane fare, not both. why is father of child getting more privileges when he is a danger and negative influence in child's life? also, father has other daugher from other woman he was only living with. he claims he pays child support, but that is not true. the mother of other child just wants him to have nothing to do with her daugher (5 years old). he doesn't give support regularly to first daugher, yet told his lawyer he does in order to prevent paying child support for second daughter. based on his untreated alcoholism and current drug use, isn't there any way to prevent visitation? also, mother of child says she will forfeit any child support from him (if it was awarded) in order to keep him from child, due to the fact that his visits would not be in the best interest of the baby.

Please advise.



BestFriend, I can't address the issues specific to your state, but I can tell you what I know about child support and visitation in general. First, visitation and child support are not connected. Period. Your ex has the right to visit his child and you should encourage it. Unless there are reasons that you can prove are harmful to the child, he should and will get visitation rights. You have a long way to go in the next 17 years of this child's life, you should get the right attitude from the beginning. Having two parents is almost always preferable to having only one. The more supportive you are of the relationship between your ex and your child, the better off you will all be in the long run. Neither your nor the mother of his other child can refuse child support in exchange for denying visitation. Also, only a court can decide that he is unfit. You will get in trouble if you deny him visitation based upon what you think is best for the child. Best Wishes.

[Edited by Ponamata on 05-21-2001 at 07:08 AM]

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