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Visitation

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onegoodma

Guest
What is the name of your state? va
Hi i was just wondering if anyone has ever been awarded custody at mothers discreation and what conditions did the judge make that order on???
 


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onegoodma

Guest
visitation

its just what it says the mother can let the father see the child as often or as much as she likes. I've heard of people getting it but just wondered if anyone here has gotten it.
 
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tdbird

Guest
are you asking if the mother can say who she wants to give the coustody to? If the natural father is not and can be proved to be not fit the natural mother can go to the lawyer and partision for another gaurdian/ but as to my experince the father will have the right to seek and over turn the decision if he can prove that he is the best for the child
 
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tdbird

Guest
oops mis read your question. I do know that if you and your x are on good turms you and he can make these decisions with out any court orders, You can work together and know what is the best for two of you. the times and dates that are in the best intrest of the child and both parents
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
okay - your terms had me confused... That's more commonly known as liberal visitation as agreed to by the parents. Personally? It's a lousy idea. What's liberal? If the two of you couldn't agree well enough to stay married, it's unlikely that you'll be able to do it during a divorce. It makes MUCH more sense to have visitation clearly specified - and then make adjustments for more time as agreed by both of you. But it's always a good idea to have some minimum to fall back on.
 
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IRBA

Guest
State:pA

You are absolutly correct. My hasband didn't put on paper in divorce agreement visitations, because his ex sad that he can see kids when he wants, but in reality it became nightmare. he didn't see kids for two months, no birthdays and so on. So now we are back to court to put everything on paper. Guys, don't do this mistake, from the begining put everything on paper in the court: child support, visitations, holidays, EVERYTHING!!!!!
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
IRBA said:
Guys, don't do this mistake, from the begining put everything on paper in the court: child support, visitations, holidays, EVERYTHING!!!!!
OR women! It is a misery no matter which side you're on - because NOT all Dads are like the ones you're with. The more detailed it is, the better the fallback position for both sides. You can ALWAYS change things.
 

haiku

Senior Member
this is called reasonable visitation. NEVER, no matter what side you are on ,agree to it!

it is SO easy to work out a simple visitation plan in court. Once both parties are out of court, if they are getting along, GREAT! They can deviate from thier visitation agreement as much as they want. Knowing that if things ever get 'crazy", there is an official court guideline to fall back on. And use to prove that visitation is either being denied or not utilized.
 
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IRBA

Guest
PA
O, America!!! Let me tell you, I was shocked to learn How profitable in 90 from 100 cases is divorce in America. Domestic relations, courts, lowers, please, give me a break. I met a lot of the good, hard working men, who, in the begining, tried to fight for the kids and so on, but the truth is THE LAW IS NOT ON THE FATHER'S SIDE. And they sad to me that;s all, she can have everything, i'm out... and so on. Yes, it seems like the father doesn't want to fight for his rights, but after my experinece with domestic relations and lowers, courts...They saying to the father THE STATE KNOWS THE BEST. WE WILL TAKE CARE and listen this perl THE FATHER HAS TO ADJUST HIS LIFE STYLE TO SUPPORT HIS KIDS!!! I never heard from anybody of them saying about mother's responsobility, adjust her life style and so on/ I met the woman who is good person, when she sturted divorce, she told me trhat she was amazed how the law slamed the husband-father..... And one more thing: who ever took control where child support money goes????? Of course, always will be men and women who doesn't care about kids and their support, but the majority do, sooo.. no.. even to be the woman I'm on the father's side..
 
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onegoodma

Guest
above poster

to say your on the fathers side!!!you dont even know him yes i admit some fathers get the bad end of the stick and thats not right. But this man has never supported his child i have worked ever since and before i had my child to get ready for the baby. This man has also mentally and physically abused me in my book thats not a man. So just because you got cheated and maybe yeah your a good father and no its not right to get everything taken away from you. But all men are not good fathers just like all women are not good mothers. It takes alot to me a good mom or dad. So before you say your on the fathers side you should get the real story!!! Plus im not getting a divorce from this man i was never even married to him..thank god... plus there's nothing for me to take from him..He's 24 and lives with his mother!!!
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
IRBA said:
PA
O, America!!! Let me tell you, I was shocked to learn How profitable in 90 from 100 cases is divorce in America. Domestic relations, courts, lowers, please, give me a break. I met a lot of the good, hard working men, who, in the begining, tried to fight for the kids and so on, but the truth is THE LAW IS NOT ON THE FATHER'S SIDE. And they sad to me that;s all, she can have everything, i'm out... and so on. Yes, it seems like the father doesn't want to fight for his rights, but after my experinece with domestic relations and lowers, courts...They saying to the father THE STATE KNOWS THE BEST. WE WILL TAKE CARE and listen this perl THE FATHER HAS TO ADJUST HIS LIFE STYLE TO SUPPORT HIS KIDS!!! I never heard from anybody of them saying about mother's responsobility, adjust her life style and so on/ I met the woman who is good person, when she sturted divorce, she told me trhat she was amazed how the law slamed the husband-father..... And one more thing: who ever took control where child support money goes????? Of course, always will be men and women who doesn't care about kids and their support, but the majority do, sooo.. no.. even to be the woman I'm on the father's side..
For every father that is done wrong, there's a mother that is as well. If a father really doesn't want to support his kid - he can get away with it. If a mother really doesn't want the father involved - she can get away with it. And in the meantime, there are the rest of the parents - of both genders - trying to raise their kids as best as they can. To drive a wedge between men and women the way you are is counter-productive.
 
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pete38

Guest
To get back on the subject of reasonable visitation; I agree in most cases specific times is warranted, but my divorce (from my 2nd) states reasonable visitation and it has worked wonderfully compared to my current husband's visitation rights. With my ex, we have every other weekend set up, but if either one of us needs to switch, we have that flexibility. However, my husband's ex will in no way deviate from the times and dates specified - down to the minute. I don't know how many times he has shown up five minutes early and she actually makes him wait until the specified time! So, I guess you can look at it both ways - I happen to get along a whole lot better with my ex since we divorced (we can actually have a discussion without screaming at each other) as opposed to my husband's relationship with his ex.
 

haiku

Senior Member
I just have to say I don't think having set visitation has anything to do with your husbands ex's rigidity. Can you imagine the leeway someone who makes you wait till the clock ticks to the exact minute you are supposed to get your kids could have with "visitation when it is reasonable" to HER? Something tells me you would not be seeing these kids much, if sh ewas not "forced" to give them up at a set time!

I bet you would be just as "reasonable" switching times with your ex, that were different than your set visitation if you had it. Right?
 
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pete38

Guest
Haiku, you are absolutely correct. Even if I had set visitation, I would still be more than willing to work with his schedule, knowing that unavoidable situations do pop up. As for my husband's ex, you correct there also. My husband had to go out of town for four days (business) and didn't get back until Sunday afternoon. Of course, I still picked up my stepson Friday evening, because she refuses to work with us. Although he had a great weekend (I had alot of things planned for the kids), my husband only got to see him for one hour. At least he did get to spend some time with him. If it weren't set, she'd make our lives a living h***!
 

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