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What is the name of your state? NC

My ex and I have three children. I have custody, and he gets them every other weekend, alternate holidays and a week at Christmas and summer vacation. I have tried to play nice and let him have them at special times when his family had get togethers and we work together on holiday schedules, etc. Here's the thing. The children are older now and involved in activities outside the home, sports, boy scouts, girl scouts, church, etc. We used to switch weekends when the kids had something to do like a campout or ballgame so they would be at home that weekend. Now this switching thing is getting old. They have activities very often. Do we have to switch if the kids have an activity that just happens to fall on his weekend? For instance, in two weeks our daughter has a girl scout campout. It falls on his weekend. He wants to trade weekends, but I don't. He says that since it is his weekend to have the children, if I don't trade weekends with him, she can't go camping. We live about 100 miles apart if that makes any difference. I say he can go ahead and take the boys for the weekend and see our daughter the next time it is his weekend.

He wants to get just her the next weekend since he is missing his weekend with her. That brings up another issue. When the children are with him for the weekend, 9 times out 10 he sleeps all day when they are there. This has been going on for about two years. With all three children there together, they can look out for each other, but I wouldn't want any of them there alone with him. He hasn't worked for almost two years, and when they are there he sleeps most of the time and they watch T.V. It sounds pretty suspicious to me, but I don't have any proof of anything going on. Any ideas on what options I might have? Sorry this is so long.


Senior Member
His visitation time is HIS visitation time and that time DOES take precedence over thier activities. you could be held in contempt for not allowing him his time.

he is entitled to make up time when he lets a child go to thier activity.

Sad to say, also, what he does with his time is his business, and if he chooses to sleep his weekend away thats his choice. Unless you can prove the children are in mortal danger you cannot withhold visitation for that reason alone, and you could also be held in contempt again.

sounds to me like you need to work a schedule of visitation around thier activities, maybe a longer block of time around the activities, or just continue swapping weekends.

my husband lives 100 miles away from his kids also, and it is NOT easy, but we continue to swap weekends, give up weekends, etc...kids have a right to be involved in extra curriculars, but you still need to accomodate thier other parent, that is just the way it is in a divorce situation, and your responsibility, having the honor of custodial parent.


Under the Radar Member
If he wants his weekends - he gets them. It's not up to you to refuse him the time, unless you want to have a visit with the judge.

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