visitation

[mabrewer]

What is the name of your state? indiana
My ex does not show up at the scheduled time and place to get his daughter. Then he calls and wants to pick her up at my home. He becomes verbally abusive, comes into my home and won't leave and yells in front of my daughter when we have tried having him pick her up at my home. How long do I have to wait for him to show up when we are meeting at a public place? If he doesn't show up and then calls later, do I have to go back to the meeting place? He has control issues and does not want to follow any schedule. He is supposed to get her every other weekend Sat. 1:00 until Sun. at 6:00. He is also supposed to get her every other Tue. and every Thur. He never gets her on Thurs. and only rarely (maybe 3 times in a year) gets her on Tue. But then complains that he is taking me back to court for more visitation. He wants to call and make different arrangements each weekend that he has her, sometimes getting her at 3:00 or 4:00 instead of 1:00. Can I say that he either sticks to the court ordered schedule or he doesn't get her?

 

[OnlyOneVoice]

Check with your attorney. If the order states a specific time, it should also provide guidelines as to how long you should wait at the designated meeting point for his arrival.

You can have anything modified and you can petition to have an order read that if he fails to arrive within a 30 minute time frame of the designated time and place then he forfeits his visitation for that weekend.

I won't promise or tell you for sure that the courts will go for it, but you should start documenting everything, if you can set up a camcorder in your home when he comes over to get her after failing to arrive at the proper time and place and catch some of his antics on tape. Also find out if your state is a one party taping state. If it is tape all phone conversations with him. If it is NOT then consult your attorney as to how to document his abusive speach and his failure to arrive in a timely manner to retrieve his daughter.

There are ways to bring him up short, you just need to find out how you can to it legally and then persue that course of action.

 

[mabrewer]

Thanks Only One Voice for responding to my questions. You are the only one who responded. The problem is that my attorney (during divorce) advised me not to specify visitation times instead saying that we should keep it flexible and just follow the Indiana Guidelines. These guidelines are very non-specific stating only how much time the non-custodial parent is allowed according to the age of the child. It states 10 hours on Saturday and 10 hours on Sunday every other weekend for her age (2). It also states 2 evenings per week for 3 hours each evening. Ex has never wanted her during the week and only wants her from Sat. 3:00 until Sun. 6:00. Actually, at this time, he only wants her when his mom (he lives with her) harrasses him to get her. I don't have any idea what it would cost to modify the custody arrangements to specify times of visitation but I know it costs $45 dollars everytime I call the attorney's office. It also costs $150 for a 30 minute consultation. I guess I just need to suck it up and put up the money instead of dragging my feet on this. I'm sure it won't get any better until I do.

mabrewer

 

[OnlyOneVoice]

A lot of attorneys think the "be flexible" route is best, but for parents who aren't exactly friendly, details, details, details prevent this type of constant irritation.

I hope it works out for you.