visitation

[acmb05]

What is the name of your state? Tennessee

I live in Tennessee and my ex lives in North Carolina. When we were divorced I didi not have the money to hire lawyer ad just sighned the papers giving her sole custody. This was after I had to lok for her for almost 4 years. After doing this she again disapeared on me and I did not find her for another 7 years. I have not seen my daughter since she was 6 months old and when I did find them and she knew she could not just up and move again because she was remarried she took me to court to have my parental rights taken away. I won that case but am on disability and cannnot afford to hire an atorney to fight her in court for visitation.

My question is in the divorce papers it says she has sole custody but does not mention visitation or support. I paid support the first 6 months after she was born but when she disappeared I had no where to send it. I just want to know what my legal rights are about seeing her. If I show up at a ball game of hers or something like that can I be denied a visit?Since nothing was ever put in writing in the divorce papers about visitation I assumed I can see her whenever I wanted to. Btw ex hates me and I have no idea what she has told my daughter about me. My daughter is now 16 years old and I have no idea what she even looks like cause the ex wont send me a picture.

 

[stealth2]

Without a visitation schedule, she has no obligation to allow you any visits. That was a huge thing to drop the ball on.

And, are you paying the ordered support? Your post wasn't clear on that.....

 

[Gracie3787]

Without a visitation schedule, she has no obligation to allow you any visits. That was a huge thing to drop the ball on.

And, are you paying the ordered support? Your post wasn't clear on that.....

OP said that the divorce didn't mention CS, so I assume that there wasn't any order for it.

OP:
You need to file to get an order with set visitation because as stealth said, without it she can legally deny you any visits at all.
Gracie

 

[LdiJ]

OP said that the divorce didn't mention CS, so I assume that there wasn't any order for it.

OP:
You need to file to get an order with set visitation because as stealth said, without it she can legally deny you any visits at all.
Gracie

At this point that might not even be feasible. He said that his child was 16 and he doesn't even know what she looks like (which means she doesn't know him either). This is one of those cases where a child's wishes might seriously factor in with a judge. By the time he gets it in front of a judge she might even be 17. I think it would be really iffy whether or not a judge would order a child that old to visit with someone who has been a stranger her entire life.....even if it wasn't his fault that he was a stranger.

 

[stealth2]

OP said that the divorce didn't mention CS, so I assume that there wasn't any order for it.

Yeah, but what confused me was when he said he paid support - I was hoping he would clarify.

As LEdi says, at this point, a lot would depend on the wishes of the child. If she wants to know her father, a court will work with that. If she wants nothing to do with him.....

 

[acmb05]

sorry been busy for a few days

I did pay support directly to the mother the first 7 months then when she moved and noone in her family would tell me where I stopped sending the money. I have however set up a savings account for her and have been putting money in it when I could. I only want my daughter to get this though when she is 18.

I realize she is a little old to force her to see me now and really I dont want to force her. What I want is to hear it from her if she does or not. At this point her mother wont even let her have any letters I write. She sends them all back to me as undeliverable.

I also have 4 other children now and I think she should at the very least get to know her siblings even if she does not want to know me. They all know they have a sister in North Carolina and the two oldest wonder why they are not allowed to se her or talk to her. I dont know if its my daughters choice not to or her mother making the choice for her.

 

[LdiJ]

I did pay support directly to the mother the first 7 months then when she moved and noone in her family would tell me where I stopped sending the money. I have however set up a savings account for her and have been putting money in it when I could. I only want my daughter to get this though when she is 18.

I realize she is a little old to force her to see me now and really I dont want to force her. What I want is to hear it from her if she does or not. At this point her mother wont even let her have any letters I write. She sends them all back to me as undeliverable.

I also have 4 other children now and I think she should at the very least get to know her siblings even if she does not want to know me. They all know they have a sister in North Carolina and the two oldest wonder why they are not allowed to se her or talk to her. I dont know if its my daughters choice not to or her mother making the choice for her.

Realistically, after all this time its quite possible that your daughter has "bought into" whatever opinion mom has expressed of you. Therefore, its likely her choice just as much as mom's.....if she even knows you exist. It sounds like she was awfully young when you divorced.

As far as the child support though......if there were actual court orders for support and you didn't pay, then you very likely would be held responsible for the arrearages on the support order, which would be considerable at this point....particularly with interest included.

 

[acmb05]

there was none

ordered. In the divorce papers all it says is she has sole custody. She never asked for support. Btw she did not file for divorce untill 5 years after we seperated when she knew I did not have the resources to travel to North Carolina and fight it.

I did travel to North Carolina when she took me to court to have my parental rights taken away. I made 3 trips and each time she would get a continuance and I would have to return home and then go back after a few months.

My daughter was at the court house that day but her mother would not let her in the court room. I was told that if the judge ruled that there was sufficient cause to terminate that she would have to testify that afternoon but since the judge threw the case out after I showed proof my ex was lying about me trying to find her(I documented everything for the whole 12 years I looked.).

My ex is remarried to a local Police officer there. After court I requested to be able to see my daughter with her mother there and her mother told my lawyer there was no way she would allow that. Next thing I know they were leaving the parking lot with lights and sirens going. My thought was my daughter wanted to talk to me but they rushed her out so fast she did not have a chance to let someone know.