Visiting with dad??

[luvday123]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WI

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wi

I have sole legal custody of my daughter who just turned 15. Her dad has visitation
every other weekend. He takes her when he wants (I have kept written proof for years)

Because of her behavior problems she is attending counseling weekly.
Shortly after her birthday (she didn't get the things she wanted,higher value)
She hit me, and ran by her father's. He called me stating she came there saying she did
something "very wrong"! We talked and i agreed to let her stay there two weeks..he stated he was going to try to, straighten for butt out and he didn't agree how she was treating me!
I thought maybe she needs to learn a hard lesson of life ( grass isn't always greener on the other side)

At home she is the only child home , lives with myself and her step father. And she has became overly spoiled ,i tried to make up for the absence of her father in her life. Which i know i did wrong. And are in counseling to resolve this

Today i called to see how she was doing left a message and he returned my call. He wants
me to sign papers for joint custody with placement with him. And my daughter wants to remain with him he states. And because of his income with having our daughter he could receive, medical, food stamps, And he stated it would help out my relationship with my husband. I told him having our daughter is no threat to my realtionship.
I refused to sign any papers and told him she could remain with him for the 2 weeks
and she needed to return home. His attitude changed and he stated fine...BYE! and hung up.

Her father can not hold a job, apartment, has a crimmial record with drug charges pending.
All of sudden after 15 years of her life wants to act like a responsible parent.
He has family who works in the court system, that iam sure is helping him now (but they can't seem to help him straighten his life out) And now i left our daughter with him was i wrong???? is there anyway he could get temporary custody of her? Should i allow her to
stay there for the full two weeks it's been only 4 days now?
Also today received in the mail from child support that he is under court order to seek 5
employment contracts per week failture to comply will result in further court action against him.
She has a counseling meeting this coming Monday should i allow him to take her or is it best that i do??

Mom wanting to do the right thing please help!!!

 

[Isis1]

i'd go get her back. doing this without a court order could cause you a heap of trouble. and it looks like it already started.

 

[Ohiogal]

Her father can not hold a job, apartment, has a crimmial record with drug charges pending.

Yet it is okay that he parents her for the next two weeks which isn't in the court order? He is fit to parent on your permission?

All of sudden after 15 years of her life wants to act like a responsible parent.

Pot meet kettle. Have you reread your original post? You stated you spoiled her rotten, she hit you and various other negative things that do NOT spotlight your parenting in the best possible responsible light. He is trying.

He has family who works in the court system, that iam sure is helping him now (but they can't seem to help him straighten his life out)

Yet you let your daughter remain with him so he could straighten her out.

And now i left our daughter with him was i wrong????

If you think he is such a piss poor example of father material, what do you think? You degrade him consistently in your posting and yet you want to know if you were wrong to allow him to parent his child. Hmmmm...

is there anyway he could get temporary custody of her?

Yep. Temporary and permanent.

Should i allow her to
stay there for the full two weeks it's been only 4 days now?

She is fifteen and hit you. You allowed dad to keep her. Daughter doesn't want to return him. Who is in control of this situation quite frankly? Who is the parent? Who is the child?

Also today received in the mail from child support that he is under court order to seek 5
employment contracts per week failture to comply will result in further court action against him.

And? That has very little to do with custody in this situation.

She has a counseling meeting this coming Monday should i allow him to take her or is it best that i do??

You cannot forbid him from taking her. He has a right to participate in those sessions just like you do unless there is a court order prohibiting it.

Mom wanting to do the right thing please help!!!

What is it you really want?

 

[luvday123]

Over the years i did everything possible for her to keep contact with her dad, food,money
let him, have her when he wanted. Yes, i spoiled her rotten and i regret this ... who is the perfect parent??? Haven't we all made mistakes with our children?? Her dad choose the way of his life, drugs,fines, not seeing her i did not!
I picked her up tonite ... thanks for all the encouraging comments!!!!!!!!

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

You may want to up the number of counseling sessions. Why not include dad? And you and dad need to get on the same page for your daughter's sake so that she isn't playing you two against each other.