Want to be fair but want to live too

[The Last Gunsli]

What is the name of your state? Mn

Me and my soon to be X are using mediation to settle our divorce. We have been married going on 12 years. She is requesting spousal maintanance of $400 a month for 5 years. I am making about 48,000 a year (gross), she grosses roughly 27,000. Based on some rough calculations I will net roughly $1500 a month after paying CS, DC and Medical and she will be netting $2700. She is keeping the house, I get to keep my IRA and 401k. I am concerned that she will not be able to afford the house payments but on the other hand I want to be able to get back on my feet financially and what she wants in spousal maintanance seems somewhat opressive to me. My lawyer initialy said that the odds of her being awarded spousal maintanance is slim to none but the mediator indicated that I should negotiate some sort of aggreement, that the court could order me to pay more and for longer...possible indefinately. I'd prefer to not pay any spousal maintanance at all (obviously). Just looking for some advice here. Thanks

 

[Ohiogal]

Talk to your attorney about what you should do -- the reason being the attorney has many more details than we do and has been there throughout the case and has an idea of how judges in your area rule.

 

[nextwife]

How long was the marriage?

While CS reciept would be a definate for whichever parent gets custody, alimony may not be. Just because she's asking doesn't mean it is automatically warranted.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state? Mn

Me and my soon to be X are using mediation to settle our divorce. We have been married going on 12 years. She is requesting spousal maintanance of $400 a month for 5 years. I am making about 48,000 a year (gross), she grosses roughly 27,000. Based on some rough calculations I will net roughly $1500 a month after paying CS, DC and Medical and she will be netting $2700. She is keeping the house, I get to keep my IRA and 401k. I am concerned that she will not be able to afford the house payments but on the other hand I want to be able to get back on my feet financially and what she wants in spousal maintanance seems somewhat opressive to me. My lawyer initialy said that the odds of her being awarded spousal maintanance is slim to none but the mediator indicated that I should negotiate some sort of aggreement,

DO NOT AGREE to pay alimony, whether you have been married 12 years, 12 decades or 12 centuries.

that the court could order me to pay more and for longer...possible indefinately. I'd prefer to not pay any spousal maintanance at all (obviously). Just looking for some advice here. Thanks

Yes that is true. Too many judges tend to give the "poor woman" what she "wants" and they have a rediculous amount of discretion to do so.

But you can appeal the jerks (I mean the judges) decision.

Once you agree and sign on the dotted line, there is little to no hope you can ever get out of the choke hold the b%$#% has over you.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Mn

Me and my soon to be X are using mediation to settle our divorce. We have been married going on 12 years. She is requesting spousal maintanance of $400 a month for 5 years. I am making about 48,000 a year (gross), she grosses roughly 27,000. Based on some rough calculations I will net roughly $1500 a month after paying CS, DC and Medical and she will be netting $2700. She is keeping the house, I get to keep my IRA and 401k. I am concerned that she will not be able to afford the house payments but on the other hand I want to be able to get back on my feet financially and what she wants in spousal maintanance seems somewhat opressive to me. My lawyer initialy said that the odds of her being awarded spousal maintanance is slim to none but the mediator indicated that I should negotiate some sort of aggreement, that the court could order me to pay more and for longer...possible indefinately. I'd prefer to not pay any spousal maintanance at all (obviously). Just looking for some advice here. Thanks

You can't compare what she "nets" to what you net, if the children are going to be living with her....her income (including your child support and SS) has to also support the children.

However, I agree with Ohiogal that you should be directing your questions to your attorney.