wanting a divorce

[blizzard]

What is the name of your state? MD

I have been married for 17 years it's been more bitter than sweet. My question is I want a divorce because I'm tired of raising up a boy into a man. We got married a 20 years old but my husdand can't or won't stay focus to be a strong family man for me or the 2 children we have one already 18 the other has 4more years to go. I work my but off putting in up 58-70 hours in a week to pay the bills in the house. He goes to work and he's gone all day but at the end of the week his money is always short or nothing is there.
I purchased our 1st home with my money I saved in my name alone. Sold that house brought a bigger home with the money from that house and additional savings of $25,000 dollars which was mine the present home we live in was brought in my name alone once again, I save an pay my and our bills. I need to know what would I loose if I follow through with a divorce? Also with my retirement account. My husband never saves a dime nor pays any bills unless he is forced to.There has never been any joint money with our marriage. I seem to clean up the loose ends I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state? MD

I have been married for 17 years it's been more bitter than sweet. My question is I want a divorce because I'm tired of raising up a boy into a man. We got married a 20 years old but my husdand can't or won't stay focus to be a strong family man for me or the 2 children we have one already 18 the other has 4more years to go. I work my but off putting in up 58-70 hours in a week to pay the bills in the house. He goes to work and he's gone all day but at the end of the week his money is always short or nothing is there.
I purchased our 1st home with my money I saved in my name alone. Sold that house brought a bigger home with the money from that house and additional savings of $25,000 dollars which was mine the present home we live in was brought in my name alone once again, I save an pay my and our bills. I need to know what would I loose if I follow through with a divorce? Also with my retirement account. My husband never saves a dime nor pays any bills unless he is forced to.There has never been any joint money with our marriage. I seem to clean up the loose ends I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Half your 401k.
Half the equity in the marital home.
Half the marital debt.
Half and maybe more of other marital assets.
Possibly pay him lifetime alimony or alimony for a specified period of time until he can become self supporting.

 

[blizzard]

I thought that if I was the sole owner of our home that I would not have to sell it in the state of Maryland? I also thought that if I can show that nothing has been joint anything, he would not be intitled to the asset I own even an investment property that is vacant at the present time? : I really want to start with a seperation so that the court would remove him from the home. Only because he won't leave without being violent and trying to break up things in the house.

 

[Ohiogal]

I thought that if I was the sole owner of our home that I would not have to sell it in the state of Maryland? I also thought that if I can show that nothing has been joint anything, he would not be intitled to the asset I own even an investment property that is vacant at the present time? : I really want to start with a seperation so that the court would remove him from the home. Only because he won't leave without being violent and trying to break up things in the house.

YOu thought wrong. You are married. As such your husband has rights to what equity has accrued during the marriage. You woul dhave to prove that all money has always been separate money (from an inheritance or what not) to show that it is not a marital asset. The problem is your incomes are marital incomes. You have paid the mortgage with marital money so the house is marital property.
Half of your retirement that accrued during the marriage he can also claim -- as well as you claim half of his. It is marital property. So you can't argue that it is not joint just because it is just in your name. It was bought with marital income. Hence it is marital property. If you want to start a separation, start one. But don't be surprised when you find you will either have to sell the house or refinance it or give him more marital property elsewhere.

 

[LdiJ]

YOu thought wrong. You are married. As such your husband has rights to what equity has accrued during the marriage. You woul dhave to prove that all money has always been separate money (from an inheritance or what not) to show that it is not a marital asset. The problem is your incomes are marital incomes. You have paid the mortgage with marital money so the house is marital property.
Half of your retirement that accrued during the marriage he can also claim -- as well as you claim half of his. It is marital property. So you can't argue that it is not joint just because it is just in your name. It was bought with marital income. Hence it is marital property. If you want to start a separation, start one. But don't be surprised when you find you will either have to sell the house or refinance it or give him more marital property elsewhere.

However, that doesn't mean that she has to sell her home. It just means that she has to refi or come up with some other way to pay him his share of the equity. Its also not 100%guaranteed (I think Maryland is an equitable distribution state) that he would get a full 50%....particularly if it can be demonstrated that he worked, and that none or little of his pay went towards marital expenses.

 

[Bali Hai]

However, that doesn't mean that she has to sell her home. It just means that she has to refi or come up with some other way to pay him his share of the equity. Its also not 100%guaranteed (I think Maryland is an equitable distribution state) that he would get a full 50%....particularly if it can be demonstrated that he worked, and that none or little of his pay went towards marital expenses.

If that were the case, most wives who had income during the marriage and spent the money on themselves instead of marital expenses wouldn't get a full 50%.

Do you really think this happens?

 

[LdiJ]

If that were the case, most wives who had income during the marriage and spent the money on themselves instead of marital expenses wouldn't get a full 50%.

Do you really think this happens?

He hasn't been a stay at home parent. She said that he goes to work daily and stays late. Therefore he is not contributing in any way to the household....or is contributing marginally. I based my comment on that.

Had he been primarily a stay at home parent...I would not have made the comment.

 

[Silverplum]

He hasn't been a stay at home parent. She said that he goes to work daily and stays late. Therefore he is not contributing in any way to the household....or is contributing marginally. I based my comment on that.

Had he been primarily a stay at home parent...I would not have made the comment.

What on earth does this mean???

He is WORKING. He IS contributing -- it's called "money." It's used to RUN the household, as in PAY for the household.

 

[LdiJ]

What on earth does this mean???

He is WORKING. He IS contributing -- it's called "money." It's used to RUN the household, as in PAY for the household.

Re-read her first post. She gave the impression that he wasn't contributing (or only marginally) towards the household expenses....that he was basically keeping his pay for himself.

 

[Bali Hai]

Re-read her first post. She gave the impression that he wasn't contributing (or only marginally) towards the household expenses....that he was basically keeping his pay for himself.

Not unlike many working women.

Again I'm asking if that were to make a difference in a courts deciding "equitable distribution"?

If not, why not?

 

[LdiJ]

Not unlike many working women.

Again I'm asking if that were to make a difference in a courts deciding "equitable distribution"?

If not, why not?

I have seen a few cases where judges reduced the percentage from 50/50 to 60/40 or 70/30 based on those types of issues.

 

[Silverplum]

Not unlike many working women.
Again I'm asking if that were to make a difference in a courts deciding "equitable distribution"?
If not, why not?

ITA. Ridiculous. Sexist. Nonsense.

 

[Bali Hai]

ITA. Ridiculous. Sexist. Nonsense.

Can't comment on that.

International Trade Administration?
Intercollegiate Tennis Association?
International Trombone Association?
Information Technology Associates?
Industrial Truck Association?
Internet Traffic Archive?
Institute of Transactional Analysis?
Institute for Transnational Arbitration?
International Tunnelling Association?
Indoor Tanning Association?
Information Technology Alliance?
Instrumentation Testing Association?
Interactive Television Alliance?
Initial Teaching Alphabet?
Iowa Telecommunications Association?
Indiana Township Association?
International TaeKwon-Do Association?
International Tap Association?
International Tax Advisors?
Iranian Trade Association?
Information Technologies Australia?

 

[Silverplum]

Can't comment on that.

International Trade Administration?
Intercollegiate Tennis Association?
International Trombone Association?
Information Technology Associates?
Industrial Truck Association?
Internet Traffic Archive?
Institute of Transactional Analysis?
Institute for Transnational Arbitration?
International Tunnelling Association?
Indoor Tanning Association?
Information Technology Alliance?
Instrumentation Testing Association?
Interactive Television Alliance?
Initial Teaching Alphabet?
Iowa Telecommunications Association?
Indiana Township Association?
International TaeKwon-Do Association?
International Tap Association?
International Tax Advisors?
Iranian Trade Association?
Information Technologies Australia?

I Totally Agree. But you tried very hard; it's definitely an "A" effort!