wanting to see daughter

[eatonsl]

What is the name of your state? Indiana
I will try to keep this short. My husband was in a bad relationship and has a daughter from it. They were never married. The child is 12 years old now. He tried several times to make it work with the mother but the mother is very verbally abusive to him, sends nasty letters and emails, all of which have been witnessed by myself and others. From day one, he never questioned if he was dad, he loves his little girl regardless. He has until recently always paid support to mom even though mom never lets him see his daughter. He has several letters from mom with torn up checks in them saying she didn't need or want his money any more then she sends something else asking why he isn't paying support. They have been to court several times to establish support and visitation but everytime, she gets mad, yells, uses foul language and storms out and the judge dismisses. Nothing formal has ever been established. She lives in Ill. He quit paying support some time ago since he hasn't seen his daughter in about a year. Everytime he would have a lady in his life, mom would stop allowing him to see daughter. Now with me here, she is really punishing him for not being with her and he hasn't seen her in a long time. He loves his daughter and wants to see her and wants to support her but if he goes to court and gets the visitation established, he will also have to pay support, which is fine but she won't let him see daughter, all she wants is the money. The only time daughter is allowed to talk to him is when she wants something, an expensive toy or such. I know this is irrelavent but mom makes more money then dad. Dad is afraid if he goes to court for all this, gets visitation and pays support, she will continue to not let him see daughter and all the court will do is slap her on the wrist and say "Let him see his daughter" in the mean time, mom is getting the support without really having to let him see daughter. He isn't a dead beat dad, he wants to be involved but he wants his daughter in his life. Any advise would be great.

 

[moburkes]

He NEEDS to go back to court for support and visitation orders. Without orders, she is not required to let him see her. If she violates those orders, he can take her back to court for CONTEMPT, and she will not receive a "slap on the wrist".

 

[Halls]

Also, your DH could possibly be made to pay back child support on all the child support he is not sending so he needs to be paying it regardless of what mom does and keep stubs of all his checks he write her.

 

[Silverplum]

Also, your DH could possibly be made to pay back child support on all the child support he is not sending so he needs to be paying it regardless of what mom does and keep stubs of all his checks he write her.

Really? OP says there's no court order.

 

[eatonsl]

After reading all the responses on this site before, I don't think he can be made to pay back support because paternity was never established other then her word.

 

[LdiJ]

After reading all the responses on this site before, I don't think he can be made to pay back support because paternity was never established other then her word.

Paternity may have been established. He may have signed the Affidavit of Paternity at the hospital.

However, in Indiana, unless the mom received state aid or there were other very unusual circumstances, back support generally isn't ordered beyond the date that the petition was filed.

 

[eatonsl]

He never signed anything at the hospital. She didn't even let him know he was a dad until after she was born even though he had gone to birthing classes with her to be in the delivery room. As I stated earlier, he is just afraid if he goes to court, had all this stuff ordered then she doesn't let him see daughter, all that will happen is a slap on the wrist over and over again. He has some experience with the law in his profession and he has seen it happen time and again. If he were to file, would he have to file in the childs state of residence? I think I read that one here before too.

 

[stealth2]

Also, your DH could possibly be made to pay back child support on all the child support he is not sending so he needs to be paying it regardless of what mom does and keep stubs of all his checks he write her.

Halls - try to at least read and comprehend what's posted before replying.

 

[Halls]

Really? OP says there's no court order.

That doesn't matter. IN some states a judge can order retroactive support even if there was never a court order. IN happend in my case!

 

[Halls]

Halls - try to at least read and comprehend what's posted before replying.

I did and I know what I'm talking about. A judge may or may not under his discretion order back child support even if there was never an order making dad pay child support.

 

[stealth2]

 

[LdiJ]

He never signed anything at the hospital. She didn't even let him know he was a dad until after she was born even though he had gone to birthing classes with her to be in the delivery room. As I stated earlier, he is just afraid if he goes to court, had all this stuff ordered then she doesn't let him see daughter, all that will happen is a slap on the wrist over and over again. He has some experience with the law in his profession and he has seen it happen time and again. If he were to file, would he have to file in the childs state of residence? I think I read that one here before too.

The bottom line is that the only way he can enforce parenting time is to establish paternity and get orders for both parenting time and child support. There isn't any other option.