well at least it made me laugh

[ursula]

i got settlement papers today from my husbands attorney. While i was happy that they raised the support offer from $11 a week to $50. They added a paragraph stating that he would get to claim our child as a dependent on all future taxes. Keep in mind my son is over a year old, he has never payed support,never exercised visitation and has vowed never to pay me a cent. I will of course decline this offer but i thought it humurous.
My real question is: under visitation, they are conceding to supervised visitation for one year stating it is due to his lack of a prior relationship with his son. but have added a clause that states: "If at the end of the year, Husband wishes full, unsupervised marion county guidelines visitation, He may petition the court for the same."
I am demanding supervised visitation because he abuses his other children and i have no intention of ever letting my son alone with him. I am afraid if i agree to this phrasing that i am indicating that its ok for him to have unsupervised visitation at the end of the year. And that i agree that supervision is only necessary due to his lack of contact. could it be taken that way by the court?
P.S. I live in Indiana
Thank you you guys are great. I have really appreciated all you advice.

 

[Tigres]

You are right to reject the wording. With out placing the words in about revisiting the schedule in one year, he would have to prove circumstances have changed to petition the courts again.

Also, by attributing the reason to something else, it would allow him to correct that situation and not the REAL problem.

Good Luck!

Tig

http://smilecwm.tripod.com/big/firemad.gif

 

[Always searching]

i got settlement papers today from my husbands attorney. While i was happy that they raised the support offer from $11 a week to $50. They added a paragraph stating that he would get to claim our child as a dependent on all future taxes. Keep in mind my son is over a year old, he has never payed support,never exercised visitation and has vowed never to pay me a cent. I will of course decline this offer but i thought it humurous.
My real question is: under visitation, they are conceding to supervised visitation for one year stating it is due to his lack of a prior relationship with his son. but have added a clause that states: "If at the end of the year, Husband wishes full, unsupervised marion county guidelines visitation, He may petition the court for the same."
I am demanding supervised visitation because he abuses his other children and i have no intention of ever letting my son alone with him. I am afraid if i agree to this phrasing that i am indicating that its ok for him to have unsupervised visitation at the end of the year. And that i agree that supervision is only necessary due to his lack of contact. could it be taken that way by the court?
P.S. I live in Indiana
Thank you you guys are great. I have really appreciated all you advice.

I would suggest that you be extremely specific about the supervised visitation. Locate a specific place, cost and availability. Supervised visitation won't mean diddily if it is not specific. Depending on where you are in the world, there may or may not be a place or people that do supervised visitation. It costs a lot of money too. Who will incur this cost? When he hears that it is upwards of $50.00 an hour and he decides not to show up, will you get the bill? Will he have to make the arrangements with the center and how will he notify you? How many days in advance are necessary for notification that he isn't going to be there?

I would make sure that you keep accurate records of all activity during the year so if he takes you back to court you have a diary that lines out when he took visitation and when he didn't.

I would also deny the possibility for unsupervised visitation. Once it's gone, it's gone. Do you have documentation that he is abusive to his other children? Just because you heard that he spanks so in so with a whip won't be admissable because he can have just as many people in court telling the judge what a wonderful, angelic person he is. Does he have abuse charges against him? I would spare no time in acquiring those criminal records.

You can say you won't allow him to be left alone with your child, but the reality of the world is....if the court orders unsupervised visitation and you don't comply, guess who goes to jail? That is called contempt. Wouldn't he love that? I don't mean to scare you, but reality is reality and wouldn't you really like to know what the possibilities are? Life isn't fair and people are deceptive so your awareness of the sentence about visitation is admirable.

Do you have a lawyer? You should have someone that can work out the details for you and ask them some of these questions.

Now, get on the phone and locate supervised facilities and find out costs and have them mail you a copy so you have concrete information to show the judge. Be aware the judge might order you to pay half so be conservative. Go to the place and check it out.

 

[ursula]

Tiges... Thank you so much. You helped me see a side i wasnt considering. How easy it would be for him to correct
"the reason" for supervised visitation. Thank you
I will not sign unless the phrase about petitioning for unsupervised in a year is left out. What about just leaving out any reason as for why we are agreeing to supervised? I know he would'nt agree to the truth.


Always Searching... thank you for your comments.
I wish i could get an attorney. I had one who had to withdraw because i could no longer pay her. I dont qualify for legal aide do to his assets. Thank you for bringing up who would pay for the visitation. They conveniently left that part out. We have a gaurdian ad litem and her prelimanary reports states supervised visitation due to his lack of contact and named 2 facilities. I will check them out as you have suggested. The gaurdian stated she needed more time to investigate the abuse allegations. I think i have pretty good evidence. I have located a former babysitter who witnessed abuse 2 years earlier. That with what i saw and a few tape recorded conversation in which he admits to the abuse. I hope its enough.
I dont know how you feel about people who break the law but i would gladly rot in jail before i would let one of my children be beat up and tormented. Believe me i have considered all the options. He states that the only reason he would try to see his child is because he knows i wouldnt let him go unsupervised and then he could put me in jail.
You sound very sweet. thank you for your time and wisdom.

 

[Always searching]

I dont know how you feel about people who break the law but i would gladly rot in jail before i would let one of my children be beat up and tormented. Believe me i have considered all the options. He states that the only reason he would try to see his child is because he knows i wouldnt let him go unsupervised and then he could put me in jail.
[/B]

I understand. The fight is usually not about the children, it is about power over the soon to be ex wife. The ad lietem that was appointed for my daughter's case decided that her ex was not a threat (even though he tried to kill her) and granted unsupervised visitation. We were devestated at the news. The only problem about the rotting in jail is that he would get full custody and you would be in a place that you couldn't do anything. Think positive thoughts and get prepared for court. I hate it that her ex gets unsupervised visitation but he claimed she was in contempt once and she spent 7 days in jail. He is an excellent liar. A Grammy performance that any actor couldn't match! We ran into problems when we couldn't find a supervised facility any closer than 130 miles away and the free one was not open on Saurday. Anyway, I hope things go well for you and they will as long as you keep your emotions in check. Hope the best for you.