What about Inmate's Rights

[Rayven1230]

What is the name of your state?NY State: My boyfriend is supposed to be coming home on parole on Friday December 17th. The issue we have encountered is, he is married, but he and his wife have not been together for over a year. He has divorce papers filled out, he just needs the money to file them. He submitted my address for parole in October and the address was approved on November 18th, 2004. Last week his "wife" called the parole division and made up a very slanderous lie about me and they took her word for it with no investigation into the matter. They also say that she would like him to come home which he flat out refuses to do as her home is not a good environment for him and they are no longer together. His parole officer now denies my address stating that he is worried about the domestic issue at hand. Now clearly my boyfriend wants to live with me, and I have an acceptable address, they just are afraid of domestic issues with the "wife". They told me if he had his own address and could maintain that address without state aid he could still live in my town. So, I suggested that I could move in with my mother and he could keep my apartment for which his mother and I would pay the rent and expenses until he finds employment. Now today they say that probably won't be acceptable either because the "wife" may still be irate. How is it her right to decide where he can and can't live? There is nothing wrong with my address except that she doesn't want him with me. Doesn't he have any rights in this matter and even more so don't I? Or, isn't there at least something I could do?

 

[stealth2]

You're joking, right? Why are you hanging with losers?

 

[Rayven1230]

Why are you judging?

NY- why are you judging someone like that? Are you such a supreme human being that you don't have any faults or have never had any issues?

 

[seniorjudge]

If your boyfriend wants to get rid of his wife, he should divorce her, he should get and hold a steady job, he should not get in trouble with the law, and he should follow his probation/parole officer's orders to the letter.

After he does all that, then he can make plans with you.

You should not be surprised that the "system" wants a married man to go home to his wife.

 

[Rayven1230]

I am surprised actually since she is the major cause of the problem. She has tried numerous things such as poisoning him and throwing things at him. She is not a perfect person. Don't get me wrong I am aware that my boyfriend has his faults too, but at least he is trying to be an adult and get out of a bad situation.

 

[seniorjudge]

Don't get me wrong I am aware that my boyfriend has his faults too, but at least he is trying to be an adult and get out of a bad situation.

Frankly, if I were you, I would look for a real man (a guy with no wife, a guy with a job, a guy who pays his bills, etc.), but I doubt that you want to hear why you shouldn't hook up with this loser.

 

[CdwJava]

I am surprised actually since she is the major cause of the problem. She has tried numerous things such as poisoning him and throwing things at him. She is not a perfect person. Don't get me wrong I am aware that my boyfriend has his faults too, but at least he is trying to be an adult and get out of a bad situation.

And you know all this is true because ... oh yeah, because he told you so. And I'll bet you met him while he was in custody, too?

Guys like this are manipulators ... remember that when things get really bad in the next year or two - provided he stays out of trouble that long.

- Carl

 

[Rayven1230]

No actually I did not meet him in custody thank you! Also, I am not going by what he told me but rather by what she has admitted to me. Basically, if you just want to judge and put him and I down, don't waste your time writing to me. I wrote on this forum for some advice, not people's opinions on whether or not my man is a loser or manipulator or whatever else you want to throw in there.

 

[CdwJava]

No actually I did not meet him in custody thank you! Also, I am not going by what he told me but rather by what she has admitted to me. Basically, if you just want to judge and put him and I down, don't waste your time writing to me. I wrote on this forum for some advice, not people's opinions on whether or not my man is a loser or manipulator or whatever else you want to throw in there.

She admitted to poisoning him? And assaulting him? And ... of course the police were called, right?

Any way, the parole office currently has all the cards. He MUST comply with their wishes or he will go back. Chances are he'll do what he wants in this matter, but he shouldn't be surprised if he goes back in that case.

- Carl

 

[seniorjudge]

Or, isn't there at least something I could do?

Poster, this is what you originally asked. If you get answers you do not like, then that is hardly the fault of the responders. BTW, our opinion of BF is based on what YOU told us.

Anyway, Carl has kinda cut to the chase here: The PO is holding the jail house key.

 

[Rayven1230]

I don't care about your opinions is my point. I didn't write on this forum for you to place your opinions here. I wrote to see if anyone had any advice on how he might be able to go home to an address, not necessarily mine, but one that was acceptable and not in her control. The PO told me if he had his own address seperate from mine, he could live in my town. So, I proposed moving back in with my mom and turning my apartment over to him. Now, he (the PO) says well I don't know, it all depends on how irate she would be. They basically are saying that they don't want to deal with possible issues but it's ok for him to live in a different county so some other PO can deal with it. The apartment I have is acceptable and was approved in the first place, the only reason it's an issue is because of her attitude. How is that fair?

 

[seniorjudge]

How is that fair?

Fairness is not required. A person on probation or parole has very few rights.

Please re-read Carl's quote: "Any way, the parole office currently has all the cards. He MUST comply with their wishes or he will go back. Chances are he'll do what he wants in this matter, but he shouldn't be surprised if he goes back in that case."

That is your answer.

 

[Rayven1230]

I just wanted to say thank you to anyone who offered real advice. My issue is solved and he is coming home. It took a lot of phone calls and time, but it all worked out.

 

[seniorjudge]

Thank you.

 

[racer72]

It took a lot of phone calls and time, but it all worked out.

Come back and say that after his PO and a bunch of cops show up and want to search your home at 6 am on a Sunday morning. And did you know they don't require a warrant?