What are my options?

[kb18]

That’s

The statute of limitation for law enforcement to address her possible blackmail of you is most likely 3 years. When or if to raise the issue is better discussed with counsel. But I sure would keep detailed safe records of all her threats that might be under any sort of blackmail umbrella ...look up the CA definitions .

BTW , whatever rip off of the system she may be making , do NOT get into a new blackmail boat by making threats to report same to anybody unless she does x or y

that’s great advise. I don’t threaten her and haven’t with anything. I either ignore it or let her finish bantering/ threatening me and approach when things cool off. I’ll have to look into specific statute of limitations. There is a lot of advice I’ve received and I thank you for arming me. I’m more informed and feeling better about this situation than I was before I posted. Thank you.

 

[HRZ]

I'm pretty sure about 3 yr cap...as a practical matter law enforcement is unlikely to be responsive if issues are old and moldy even if less than 3 year...or if she has left the state . i mentioned statute of limitations more in context that it is not necessary for you to push every issue at the same time .

I'd keep exquisite records of all her threats that might be under blackmail umbrella ..note it's illegal in CA to record phone without 2 party consent ..be careful on that.
.

 

[kb18]

Iv

I'm pretty sure about 3 yr cap...as a practical matter law enforcement is unlikely to be responsive if issues are old and moldy even if less than 3 year...or if she has left the state . i mentioned statute of limitations more in context that it is not necessary for you to push every issue at the same time .

I'd keep exquisite records of all her threats that might be under blackmail umbrella ..note it's illegal in CA to record phone without 2 party consent ..be careful on that.
.

I’ve got her on text messages with the black mail. Plus she admits to people that she will bring up the accusations again in public to people. Multiple people we both know as she doesn’t see it as blackmail but more of an impeding axe. I did not know that but thank you. She already has herself in a hole with the state for benefits. I give her spousal support monthly that she doesn’t admit to. When I do my taxes (not child support) that will pop up and might be a problem for her. I’m not going to push any issues with her but will seek an attorney this week. Thank you!

 

[HRZ]

IF you are giving her voluntary spousal alimony it is unlikely that that is deductible on your federal return , it must fit the definition of court ordered alimony .


I think voluntary alimony is dumb..but Paying her re blackmail threats may be an interesting point to discuss with counsel.

Note , the tax law changes 12/31/2018 as to any new real alimony orders and alimony will NOT be deductible to you ...if under any stretch of anything you are ordered to pay her alimony, it's to your tax advantage to,have the order entered before YE

Her failure to report support is a problem for her with any need based benefits she is receiving ...but make no reporting threats from you!

Running around to others with tales of your supposed illegal acts for the purpose of damaging your reputation or job or security clearance is likely to be an issue of libel and slander but NOT a fight I suggest you pick at the current time .

BTW "friends " who are party to all the mud she tosses are rather likely to have an acute case of memory failure if you call them as witnesses?

GIven the issues of her behavior and the sensitivity of ones security clearance ...all the more reasons to use counsel .

As as aside...if you get separate legal bills for counsel relative to issues to protect your employment situation these might be tax deductible expenses ...I have not checked how itemized deductions apply under the revised code ...made personal use of that point/ deduction under prior code

 

[LdiJ]

Just as an FYI, 300.00 a month in alimony and 400.00 a month in child support is probably not enough to impact state benefits. It might be enough to impact TANF but its unlikely to be enough to impact any other state benefits.

 

[HRZ]

Falsification of application for public benefit or the FAFSA application could be an issue even if $ impact is modest or even none . But not a wise fight to start In OPs overall set of issues.

 

[kb18]

IF you are giving her voluntary spousal alimony it is unlikely that that is deductible on your federal return , it must fit the definition of court ordered alimony .


I think voluntary alimony is dumb..but Paying her re blackmail threats may be an interesting point to discuss with counsel.

Note , the tax law changes 12/31/2018 as to any new real alimony orders and alimony will NOT be deductible to you ...if under any stretch of anything you are ordered to pay her alimony, it's to your tax advantage to,have the order entered before YE

Her failure to report support is a problem for her with any need based benefits she is receiving ...but make no reporting threats from you!

Running around to others with tales of your supposed illegal acts for the purpose of damaging your reputation or job or security clearance is likely to be an issue of libel and slander but NOT a fight I suggest you pick at the current time .

BTW "friends " who are party to all the mud she tosses are rather likely to have an acute case of memory failure if you call them as witnesses?

GIven the issues of her behavior and the sensitivity of ones security clearance ...all the more reasons to use counsel .

As as aside...if you get separate legal bills for counsel relative to issues to protect your employment situation these might be tax deductible expenses ...I have not checked how itemized deductions apply under the revised code ...made personal use of that point/ deduction under prior code

It’s not voluntary it’s in the MSA and court ordered now that the divorce is finalized. I only agreed to it to because circumstances at the time and I was still under ucmj. My attorney at that point told me to wait until I get out to start anything as the military is currently getting hard ons for any accusations in that similarity. I’ll ask about being able to use it as a deduction. Thank you HRZ

 

[HRZ]

IF the spousal support is court ordered to EX it's about 99% + likely it is deductible to you in each year paid....look it up on line on IRS site ...no need for attorney. FIle any appropriate amended tax return if you "forgot" to take it in any prior tax year .

IF EX filed any incorrect statements with anybody, leave her problem to her, not your job to meddle .


You owe your child ( via custodial parent) whatever is ordered that you owe ....be careful as to tone of your comments ....the child is not the bad apple in the dirty contest your EX seems bent on playing.