What are the procedures for disowning a child?

[GenWhy]

What is the name of your state? CT

Just as the topic states, I would like to know the procedures for disowning a child. While the best course of action would be to ask an actual lawyer, I do not want to go that far just yet. I would first like to know if there is indeed a legal procedure for disowning a child, if there is any way to have them taken off various documents pretaining to my children (like the amount of children I have) in one fell swoop, and if I would be found liable were this child to die, be injured, or various other important aspects of this child's life.

The child is 17 and there is no ill will between the two of us (except for, of course, the ill will that we no longer want to be mother and child). I suppose an easy way of putting it is that "we just want to make it official."

 

[Ohiogal]

Is there an adult that wants to adopt them and assume full legal and physical custody of them and your rights are terminated?

 

[GenWhy]

Unfortuneately there is not, although there is someone who has taken care of them in such a manner. The child still has the father, though. We assumed it would have similar affects to as if I had divorced my husband and he retained all costudy.

 

[Just Blue]

Unfortuneately there is not, although there is someone who has taken care of them in such a manner. The child still has the father, though. We assumed it would have similar affects to as if I had divorced my husband and he retained all costudy.

You can't "disown" a minor child. You are responsible for that child until the child reaches his/her majority.

 

[Fl_renter]

Maybe you should look into this??

http://www.bostoncoop.net/lcd/emancipation/connecticut.html

 

[kamchef]

Are you kidding me???????

Are you kidding me??????
I have 17 year old. Just because they lose brain function for awhile, is not justification to disown your child. Making emotional decisions is a HUGE MISTAKE everytime. Please stop and think about what you are doing. Love has no bounds and it is forgiving. Think about the way you were when you were 17. Did anybody disown you????? If they did, how did that make you feel? Kids are not easy. They don't come with instruction manuals. There are no perfect people, parents, and certainly not children. Look further down the road when they are grown. They aren't going to be 17 forever; everyone loses by only seeing what is in front of you. A 17 year old is still a child; your child. They are not mature enough to take care of themselves. It is an open door for them to be on the streets and acting really stupid.

Tough love works every time. They want boundaries; if you don't stick to your guns they will mow over you. They want to know that you care. You are not their friend, and they don't want you to be. Please don't do this. I know how it feels to be frustrated, and wanting to take the easy way out, but you never stop loving your children.

 

[nextwife]

I had a friend who had temporary custody of her niece for a couple of teen years.

She used to say (about teens) "The soul leaves the body from about age 15 to 20, then it returns and they become people again"

 

[stampoutspam]

ask yourself this...

If you found out tomorrow that your child was found dead in a gutter because of a drug deal gone bad, how would you feel? I mean really think about it. Would it hurt? Would you feel guilt over anything? If so, don't do it.
Maybe I'm a fool...but no matter what my son were to do, I'd still love him and want to be there for him. He could burn the house down - with me in it - and if I made it out alive, I'd still be there for him. My opinion is, his bad deeds are his burdens. Mine are mine.

 

[childs8715]

If this is really what you want...then I would see about emancipation. Where the child actually disowns you...but your child would have to prove that they could support themselves and whatnot. Notice I said "your child". Personally I don't see how you could do what you are doing to "your child". Even if the feeling is mutual. My mom didn't like me either when I was 17 and trust me I didn't like her but I don't think we would have taken it as far as legally disowning one another. My children could do anything to me and hate me all they want but I would always be there for them. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be a parent and being a mom is a commitment I made. It was a choice. But...everyone gets divorced now so it doesn't surprise me that now people are going to start "divorcing" their children as well. Anyway, I hope you find the legal advice you need here but my honest opinion is that you need to rethink what you are doing. None of us should judge you, you did not tell us the reasoning behind your decision but I can't see ANY reason why you'd want to go through with this. Good luck.

 

[Mustang44]

Here is our situation: ex has filed court petition and is asking for $60k for our contribution to his college. We don't have it. Can't even save for my for my own kids college. Having probs paying bills much less saving right now Did save enough for stepsons 1st year. Stepson has told his dad not to sue and he will not accept any money in that manner. What can we do? Is emancipation an option if my stepson agrees only to rid us of his vindictive dad? He wants to do right by us but his dad will not listen... Help

 

[mistoffolees]

Here is our situation: ex has filed court petition and is asking for $60k for our contribution to his college. We don't have it. Can't even save for my for my own kids college. Having probs paying bills much less saving right now Did save enough for stepsons 1st year. Stepson has told his dad not to sue and he will not accept any money in that manner. What can we do? Is emancipation an option if my stepson agrees only to rid us of his vindictive dad? He wants to do right by us but his dad will not listen... Help

So you want to disown your son so you don't have to pay for college? Forget it.

What you do is go to court to challenge the petition. Or, technically, since you seem to be the stepparent, have the actual parent challenge the petition.

In CT, the court can not order parents to pay for college unless they agree:
Connecticut Child Support Laws | Help Yourself Divorce

The court may order the parents to pay for college expenses for a child until the child reaches the age of 23. The court cannot order an award for college expenses if the parents don’t agree to the award, unless the court finds that it’s more likely than not that the parents would have paid for the child’s college education had the parents stayed together.

So the parent needs to challenge the petition - preferably with the help of an attorney.

Oh, and to answer your original question, it's actually quite easy to disown a child. You wait until they're 18 and write a will that doesn't leave anything to them.

 

[Proserpina]

(Y'all are responding to a 5 year old thread....)

 

[mistoffolees]

(Y'all are responding to a 5 year old thread....)

Well, it wasn't 5 years old when I responded to it....

I never bother to check the dates. Too bad the forum gods can't set it up to automatically lock a thread that hasn't had a new post for some period of time. That would force people to create their own threads rather than necroposting.

 

[Zigner]

Here is our situation: ex has filed court petition and is asking for $60k for our contribution to his college. We don't have it. Can't even save for my for my own kids college. Having probs paying bills much less saving right now Did save enough for stepsons 1st year. Stepson has told his dad not to sue and he will not accept any money in that manner. What can we do? Is emancipation an option if my stepson agrees only to rid us of his vindictive dad? He wants to do right by us but his dad will not listen... Help

To start with, I'll say that yes, I understand this is a 5 year old hijacked thread.

But, the answer is obvious: Mustang44 has no dog in this fight. It is between the child's parents.

If Mustang44 (or the child's actual parent) wants more info, a new thread should be started.

 

[justalayman]

while the actual thread is 5 years old, Mustang and her problem are a recent hijack so misto wasn't responding to a 5 year old thread but a brand new hijack of the 5 year old thread