What can I do about this?

[tiki101]

What is the name of your state? Oregon

I just settled my custody case back in June. On Saturday my son had parenting time with his father (NCP) from 10am-6pm. NCP came to pick up our child at 10 am Saturday morning I had told him that our child(17 months) ate at 9:30am and that he must be fed again in two hours along with a diaper change. NCP lives 107 miles away from me which is about one hour and forty mins away. I called NCP at 11:30 just to see hou our child was doing with the car ride since this was their first time together alone in a car for this long of a time. I heard our child crying and screaming. I asked NCP if he was feedin our child or if he did a diaper change and he said no but that he would. Fast forward to 6pm in the evening on saturday. (NCP has no overnights till 18months). I go to pick up or child and notice he was a completely different person. The NCP had dressed our child in long pants, socks and two t-shirts when it is 105' degrees outside! The NCP has no air condition in his home nor any stationary fans or celling fans. Nothing to cool down with. No pool...nothing! Our child was dripping in sweat. I asked him what all he fed him and the times so I know when to feed him next and he told me that he just fed him a banana at 12pm and that he didn't get around to feeding him anything else. Which in our parenting plan he is supposed to provide our child with the evening meal and be ready to go at 6pm. I asked if he gave our child any fluids and he told me no. When I was putting our son in his car seat he just sat in it with a blank stare. It was the sadest thing I had ever seen before. I gave our child a bottle of juice that I had brought with me since I knew it was going to be a warm day and I kid you not he drank the whole thing, 10 ounces within a minute. After a few mins of driving I noticed I needed to pull over and change our childs diaper. He had such bad diarrhea I couldn't believe it!!! I instanly knew I needed to take him to the hospital something wasn't right. I took him there and he had such sever dehydration they had to give him an IV an keep him overnight. The hospital had told me that child services will be getting involved since this incedent happened in the care of the NCP and it was an incedent that is easy to avoid from happening. They had informed me that I can either takes steps to file a complaint and be assigned a case worker or I can let it go and just have them document the event in case if it happens again. What should I do? I am scared this might happen again. NCP isn't ready for this kind of responsability. He has neve beenr left alone in his home with our child and this is the first time and then something like this happens. I urged in court to consider his very little known know how on how to parent a baby as a factor on visitation.( before we went to court the only thing NCP did with our child was come over to my house and watch tv and sleep on my couch. He would never interact nor change diapers, feed him, bathe him, brush his teeth ect ect.)Should I ask to modify the parenting time schedule? NCP is constantly needed to be told when to feed our child, when to change a diaper, what kind of clothes to put on him..ect. ect. NCP is 24 years old and yet every parenting time I still have to remind of how to take care of a baby. Should I request supervised visitation? Is this an issue that I should report to child services? Should I tell my attorney about it? NCP has visitation again next week and I am terrified for our child. I don't want to have to take them back to the ER again.Is this considered neglect? Thank you all so much. I am happy to report my son is back home now and doing better. That was his first trip to the ER and I have never been more scared in my entire life! I wish no parent would ever have to watch their child in pain it is the most horriffic feeling in the world especially when there is little you can do to comfort them. Thanks again!

 

[GrowUp!]

What is the name of your state? Oregon

I just settled my custody case back in June. On Saturday my son had parenting time with his father (NCP) from 10am-6pm. NCP came to pick up our child at 10 am Saturday morning I had told him that our child(17 months) ate at 9:30am and that he must be fed again in two hours along with a diaper change. NCP lives 107 miles away from me which is about one hour and forty mins away. I called NCP at 11:30 just to see hou our child was doing with the car ride since this was their first time together alone in a car for this long of a time. I heard our child crying and screaming. I asked NCP if he was feedin our child or if he did a diaper change and he said no but that he would. Fast forward to 6pm in the evening on saturday. (NCP has no overnights till 18months). I go to pick up or child and notice he was a completely different person. The NCP had dressed our child in long pants, socks and two t-shirts when it is 105' degrees outside! The NCP has no air condition in his home nor any stationary fans or celling fans. Nothing to cool down with. No pool...nothing! Our child was dripping in sweat. I asked him what all he fed him and the times so I know when to feed him next and he told me that he just fed him a banana at 12pm and that he didn't get around to feeding him anything else. Which in our parenting plan he is supposed to provide our child with the evening meal and be ready to go at 6pm. I asked if he gave our child any fluids and he told me no. When I was putting our son in his car seat he just sat in it with a blank stare. It was the sadest thing I had ever seen before. I gave our child a bottle of juice that I had brought with me since I knew it was going to be a warm day and I kid you not he drank the whole thing, 10 ounces within a minute. After a few mins of driving I noticed I needed to pull over and change our childs diaper. He had such bad diarrhea I couldn't believe it!!! I instanly knew I needed to take him to the hospital something wasn't right. I took him there and he had such sever dehydration they had to give him an IV an keep him overnight. The hospital had told me that child services will be getting involved since this incedent happened in the care of the NCP and it was an incedent that is easy to avoid from happening. They had informed me that I can either takes steps to file a complaint and be assigned a case worker or I can let it go and just have them document the event in case if it happens again. What should I do? I am scared this might happen again. NCP isn't ready for this kind of responsability. He has neve beenr left alone in his home with our child and this is the first time and then something like this happens. I urged in court to consider his very little known know how on how to parent a baby as a factor on visitation.( before we went to court the only thing NCP did with our child was come over to my house and watch tv and sleep on my couch. He would never interact nor change diapers, feed him, bathe him, brush his teeth ect ect.)Should I ask to modify the parenting time schedule? NCP is constantly needed to be told when to feed our child, when to change a diaper, what kind of clothes to put on him..ect. ect. NCP is 24 years old and yet every parenting time I still have to remind of how to take care of a baby. Should I request supervised visitation? Is this an issue that I should report to child services? Should I tell my attorney about it? NCP has visitation again next week and I am terrified for our child. I don't want to have to take them back to the ER again.Is this considered neglect? Thank you all so much. I am happy to report my son is back home now and doing better. That was his first trip to the ER and I have never been more scared in my entire life! I wish no parent would ever have to watch their child in pain it is the most horriffic feeling in the world especially when there is little you can do to comfort them. Thanks again!

Do you know what paragraphs are?! I didn't bother. Perhaps someone with more patience will help you out.

 

[ceara19]

You should contact child services, just to protect yourself. I would also head back to court ASAP and get the visitation modified so that he is not alone with the child for any extended amount of time until after he completes some type of parenting course.

Being inexperienced is one thing, but I don't know how he could sit there and do nothing for hours while the baby screamed.

 

[JenniK]

Protect however you can...

Don't worry about the long paragraph...you got your point across. Like they said, report it. Keep a copy of the report from them (CPS) and get one from the hospital. Then contact your attorney and give him/her copies of what you have. DOCUMENT everything like this. Even good visits... But for the protection of the child, CPS can give you advice on how to handle future visits regarding supervision. Let them know your concerns of your childs welfare in the hands of the 'Unsupervised Daddy'. Look out for your son.

 

[stealth2]

Actually, I would speak with your attorney first.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

G-damn!!!! Do you know what paragraphs are?! I didn't bother. Perhaps someone with more patience will help you out.

Or more legal knowledge

 

[JenniK]

Thanks BB At least we know which of us are here 'trying' to help, and not diffuse others by our boredom.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Thanks BB At least we know which of us are here 'trying' to help, and not diffuse others by our boredom.

Too Funny!

#1 Yesterday, 03:27 PM
JenniK
Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 7

Buy/Sell Agreement -Montana

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Montana - We recently bought a property with a home on it. (In February of this year) On the Buy/Sell Agreement, there were a few things listed that the previous owner wanted, which he got before we moved in.
Recently, he is stating that the propane tank is "his", and when we weren't home, he came over and took the basketball hoop (including pole that was buried in the ground that held the hoop) out of our driveway. We found out two days later after a call to him, that he was in fact the one that took it, and he also stated he owned the propane tank. He then came on our property and put a padlock on our propane tank when we weren't home.
What are our options for this? By legal right, don't we own these things, and isn't he in the wrong for doing what he has done, and continuing to try and take things?

 

[tiki101]

Thank you!

Thank you all for your replies. I called my attorney today and unfortunately she was in court all day today. I had taken our child to his pediatrician as a follow up and she he was doing much better. She had documented everything and I recieved a copy of the report from her, and the hospital. I spoke with my brother who is a police officer and he had informed me along with the hospital and the pediatrician that I need to call CPS. I did and they made a report and had assigned me a case worker to look further into the incident and why it happened and why the NCP did nothing for our child. Thank you all so much for the quick replies. I must say the scariest thing in the world is when something happens to your child and you feel so helpless to help them. Best wishes to you all!

 

[GrowUp!]

Or more legal knowledge

What's the matter, bb? Went crying to Mary and had my response deleted? We're how old again?

 

[GrowUp!]

Thanks BB At least we know which of us are here 'trying' to help, and not diffuse others by our boredom.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[Halls]

Tiki, I think you made a wise decision about calling CPS and moving forward with your lawyer about this.

YOUr ex just may not realize he isn't ready to handle taking care of a child on his own and regardless you still have to protect your child. So when you get a hold of your lawyer I would talk to him about asking the court for supervised visitation for a while to your ex can learn how to take care of your child.

 

[psfunkytek]

What about mandatory reorting?

What is the name of your state? Oregon

such sever dehydration they had to give him an IV an keep him overnight. The hospital had told me that child services will be getting involved since this incedent happened in the care of the NCP and it was an incedent that is easy to avoid from happening. They had informed me that I can either takes steps to file a complaint and be assigned a case worker or I can let it go and just have them document the event in case if it happens again.QUOTE]


I'm surprised that the hospital didn't report this to CPS theirself. Doesn't OR have any mandatory reporting laws? The reality is that CPS reports are MUCH more credible (right or wrong) when they are made by a mandatory reporter (police officer, physicians and therapists, teachers and social workers). It's probably too late to have the hospital make the report for you, so the advice you got is good. Make the report, at a very minimum, parenting classes should be ordered (who knows, maybe you can get him to volunteer).

Good luck and I'm glad your baby is okay.

 

[ceara19]

I'm surprised that the hospital didn't report this to CPS theirself. Doesn't OR have any mandatory reporting laws? The reality is that CPS reports are MUCH more credible (right or wrong) when they are made by a mandatory reporter (police officer, physicians and therapists, teachers and social workers). It's probably too late to have the hospital make the report for you, so the advice you got is good. Make the report, at a very minimum, parenting classes should be ordered (who knows, maybe you can get him to volunteer).

Good luck and I'm glad your baby is okay.

A child being dehydrated, in and of itself, is not a sign of either abuse or neglect. Children dehydrate much easier then adults and when they are sick, they are less likely to be able to put their symptoms into words. Without other factors, there was nothing for the hospital to report.

If the OP makes the report NOW, CPS would want to know why she waited so long after the fact to call them. Many of the reports filed by one parent against the other are false. To report this incident NOW, would make the OP less credible if she needs to file a report LATER.

There is also the fact that there was no INTENT on dad's part. He may be immature and some of his actions could be seen as borderline negligence, but there is nothing serious enough for CPS to intervene.

The best thing the OP can do at this point is to try and get through to dad and get him to act more like a PARENT and less like a FRIEND. If another incident occurred, she can report it IMMEDIATELY and hope that it will scare dad into straightening up. But outside of a very serious problem, there is no cause to change the custody agreement.

 

[LdiJ]

A child being dehydrated, in and of itself, is not a sign of either abuse or neglect. Children dehydrate much easier then adults and when they are sick, they are less likely to be able to put their symptoms into words. Without other factors, there was nothing for the hospital to report.

If the OP makes the report NOW, CPS would want to know why she waited so long after the fact to call them. Many of the reports filed by one parent against the other are false. To report this incident NOW, would make the OP less credible if she needs to file a report LATER.

There is also the fact that there was no INTENT on dad's part. He may be immature and some of his actions could be seen as borderline negligence, but there is nothing serious enough for CPS to intervene.

The best thing the OP can do at this point is to try and get through to dad and get him to act more like a PARENT and less like a FRIEND. If another incident occurred, she can report it IMMEDIATELY and hope that it will scare dad into straightening up. But outside of a very serious problem, there is no cause to change the custody agreement.

I don't know that I can agree with you on this one. It was serious enough that IV fluids and an overnight stay in the hospital were required. If dad had been keeping the child overnight the child might not have lived until morning.