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Botyfltiger

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? I am in Philadelphia Pa.

G'day everyone. I am very disturbed right now. I have for the last 12 years been fighting for well more for respect then anything, but also custody of my daughter.

Quick background.
My daughter's father beat me and abused me in EVERY way you can think of. Between the ages of 15 and 18. I am now 31. About 2 maybe 3 years ago. I broke the law and took away his rights to her. Without court knowledge. So I lost the battel. IT took him a year in a half to file aganest me. I was being held in contempt. He droped the charges and my ummm trying to be nice here....... lawyer gave HIM all kinds of new visitations. I now have to share holidays and he gets her every summer for 2 weeks. Well the last 2 summers he chose the last 2 weeks of summer to be his 2 weeks. So then leaving me to re-condition her inorder for her to be in the propper mind fram to go back to school.
He has done the samething again to me this summer. He is suppose to give my 60 days written notice. He waits till mid June to give me the notice and demands he gets her for the last two weeks of summer.

Now I talked to her Grandmother's cousin. Who lives nextdoor to my ex. She told me she had to call the cops on him for threating her life and her boyfriends life. He then kicked in her back door. He beats his mother and kids (new girlfriend and he have 3 other children together) He doesn't work, doesn't pay me support. My daughter has told me numerous times he has taken her to the local slums flea market where right next to this flea market is a strip club and accrossed the street is a porno shop.

His mother will not give me any info on him. I do not have a phone number to reach my child when she is with him. The address he gave me does not show up as his. I am being told that he is again now in the proccess of being evicted out of his apartment.

IS there ANYTHING I can do?

Please help.
Margaret Edwards
[email protected]
 


NotSoNew

Senior Member
not really. if you suspect he is harming your child then i would call child services. If you dont know where to find him, try to have him followed. You said he lives next door to your grandmother's cousin, so how do you not know where to find him?

A judge isnt going to do much that he didnt give you exactly 60 days notice for the visitation, but you could try to file contempt. There is nothing wrong with him taking her the last 2 weeks although you dont like it.

Bottom line, just because someone is a bad husband doesnt make them a bad father. If you think he is a bad father you need to gather PROOF and bring it to the court. Something your grandmothers cousin TOLD you isnt gonna fly in court.
 

CJane

Senior Member
It depends on how the order is written. In mine, I have to let my ex know (in writing) no later than May 15 when I want the kids for the summer, and he has to let me know no later than May 31. If either of us miss the date, whether or not we get the kids for our portion of the summer is completely up to the other parent - in other words, we forfeit out vacation.

Many states have a 'default' two weeks that kick in if the notice date is missed.

What does it say in your order besides the fact that he must give you 60 days notice? Does it say anything about default dates or forfeiting summer visitation? What does the order say in relation to contact info while the child is with him?
 

Botyfltiger

Junior Member
Need to clear up a few things. :)

Firstly it is HIS mother. MY daughter's grandmother who lives with her Neice who is my ex's cousin.

I wouldn't know how to start to get a police report.

There is no cut off date to the notice for summer vacation visits.

And he was never MY husband and he is a bad father. A man who can bring in 4 children into this world and not work one day to provide for them in my eyes ISN'T anything other then a mooch.

As far as contact info. I am to have an address and phone number to where he is living. I only have an address that is not listed as "his". I have no phone number, cell phone or other wise. I only have his cousin's phone number who lives next door to him. She has told me he forbids my daughter in her home for she doesn't like him. I have not talked to my daughter in two weeks and when I finally get through to someone I am told he is still the exact same person he was 16 years ago.

I do share custody. He gets her every other weekend.
 

CJane

Senior Member
Botyfltiger said:
I only have an address that is not listed as "his".
So? You HAVE AN ADDRESS. Doesn't matter who actually owns the house, or even really if that's exactly where the child is going to be every second that she's not with you.
 

lisagr33

Member
If I were you, and I have had to do this twice, I would contact the local CPS and tell them that you are concerned for your daughter's safety while she is with her father and give them the information. If it is worth CPS investigating they will and then make the decision from there. It seems as if your daughter is in a harmful situation if what you say is going on. Surely, CPS could investigate the situation to determine if your daughter should be in that house with her father.
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
I wouldn't know how to start to get a police report.



a phone call to the police department might be a good start :rolleyes:
ignorance is not an excuse when it comes to kids
 

Botyfltiger

Junior Member
WANNACRY said:
I wouldn't know how to start to get a police report.



a phone call to the police department might be a good start :rolleyes:
ignorance is not an excuse when it comes to kids
You know I came here for help and I am mostly getting scarscasim. I am not trying to ignorant am I? I came here for help right? So then that means I do not want to be INGORNAT towards my rights for my daughter.

I have to say I didn't appericate that comment. :mad:
 

casa

Senior Member
Botyfltiger said:
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? I am in Philadelphia Pa.

G'day everyone. I am very disturbed right now. I have for the last 12 years been fighting for well more for respect then anything, but also custody of my daughter.

Quick background.
My daughter's father beat me and abused me in EVERY way you can think of. Between the ages of 15 and 18. I am now 31. About 2 maybe 3 years ago. I broke the law and took away his rights to her. Without court knowledge. So I lost the battel. IT took him a year in a half to file aganest me. I was being held in contempt. He droped the charges and my ummm trying to be nice here....... lawyer gave HIM all kinds of new visitations. I now have to share holidays and he gets her every summer for 2 weeks. Well the last 2 summers he chose the last 2 weeks of summer to be his 2 weeks. So then leaving me to re-condition her inorder for her to be in the propper mind fram to go back to school.
He has done the samething again to me this summer. He is suppose to give my 60 days written notice. He waits till mid June to give me the notice and demands he gets her for the last two weeks of summer.

Now I talked to her Grandmother's cousin. Who lives nextdoor to my ex. She told me she had to call the cops on him for threating her life and her boyfriends life. He then kicked in her back door. He beats his mother and kids (new girlfriend and he have 3 other children together) He doesn't work, doesn't pay me support. My daughter has told me numerous times he has taken her to the local slums flea market where right next to this flea market is a strip club and accrossed the street is a porno shop.

His mother will not give me any info on him. I do not have a phone number to reach my child when she is with him. The address he gave me does not show up as his. I am being told that he is again now in the proccess of being evicted out of his apartment.

IS there ANYTHING I can do?

Please help.
Margaret Edwards
[email protected]
What does the CO say?
Is he using the visitation?
What is the current situation?
Ages of children?
Do you have a copy of the police report?<very important>?
 

casa

Senior Member
Botyfltiger said:
You know I came here for help and I am mostly getting scarscasim. I am not trying to ignorant am I? I came here for help right? So then that means I do not want to be INGORNAT towards my rights for my daughter.

I have to say I didn't appericate that comment. :mad:
there are numerous professionals and past professionals on this site~ Many helpful and contributing posters have "been there done that." (BTDT) :cool:


Of course you come here looking for answers- we all do- but you catch more bees with honey.
 

Botyfltiger

Junior Member
I hope I am sweet enough this time :p

My Custody order says we are to split holidays. One year he has Xmass next me. He gets every Thanksgiving and I get every Easter.

He is suppose to pick up my daughter at my home by 7pm on Friday every other weekend and bring her home at 7pm Sunday. His mother is the one who picks up my daughter cause he says he don't want to talk to me. It has been 12 years since we broke up. I have tried to talk to him rasionally, but he calles me a "N" lover and screams at me calling me all kinds of bad names.
He has his mother here by 7pm on Friday, but never is my daughter home by 7pm on Sunday. It is always 7:30 8 O'clock pm. And when I express my nerves being triggered cause of him threating me for years he would steal my daughter and I would never see her again. I get very worried when she isn't home on time. She is not allowed to use "his" phone to call me. I do not have a number to reach him other then his mother's. I am told it is none of my business where my child is. But he seems to know everything I do :confused:

In the CO it says he is to give me this info if ever it is to change. He gave my lawyer his number. A week later I tried to call him and it was disconnected. Since then (now almost 4 years) I have not had a phone number nor the right address. (lawyer never presued)

The person above said that it doesn't matter what address I have? I am confused cause I thought I was entitled to his current location. He would not allow me to move out of state. It would have only been another 5 to 8 miles from where I live now, but he says "we need to stick to the order" well I found out he moved out of the county he was presently in and never contacted me to tell me. I for 3 months was unaware of where my child was ever other weekend that she was with him. I called the local advocates here and they told me that I had a right to tell him he was not to have her on his visits cause I did not have a propper address. so when this is said

So? You HAVE AN ADDRESS. Doesn't matter who actually owns the house, or even really if that's exactly where the child is going to be every second that she's not with you.

Is not what I was told by my local legal aid.

My current situation is I am married have 3 boys with my husband of 7 years (been together since 3 months after my break up with daughters father 12 years) I rent my home 3 stories 4 bed rooms. I have my children in school. My husband works 40 hours a week. Pays for all of my daughters expences. (clothes,food,glasses for her eyes,medical basicly everything)

His situation as I know it to be at this moment is he is being evicted again from his new apartment. Has only been there for 5-6 months. Does not work, nor will get a job. Says he can't work for anyone cause he can't take rules and orders from others :rolleyes: So he trash dives and sells the items at the local dive flea market. At this flea market he'll take my daughter. She then is around a bunch of perves cause most of the men there go to the nudy bar that is connected to this flea market. I have been told that drugs are also feely used inside this flea market. (this is where he takes my daughter every other Sunday)
He now has 3 other children all boys and I hear his girlfriend is pregnant again.

I do not have a copy of the police report yet. I am still searching for the department that is responsible for the area of where I am told he is living.

My daughter is 12.

About 7-8 years ago. He called DHS and told them my daughter was unkept and was sharing a room with her younger brother. I was forced to move due to this situation. DHS stated I HAD to have a room for my daughter. Her own room. I have since moved twice and both times made sure she had her own room.
He is presently in a 2 bed room apartment. Where my daughter is sharing a room with 3 boys.

What can I do?
Please help me. I am very much in need to understanding of my rights.
Peace and Love,
Botyfltiger
 

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