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tiffani04

Member
What is the name of your state?VA

My daughter goes with her father every other weekend. The past probably 6 times she has gone with him he has brought her home on Saturday's instead of Sundays. The first couple of times she would call me crying wanting to come home and he would be willing to let her come. Well, this past weekend she called me Saturday night around 8:00 saying I needed to meet her dad so she could come home. He got on the phone and told me she wouldn't stop crying and he couldn't get her to calm down. So I told him to put her back on the phone and I was asking if she had been crying and what was wrong. She said she wasn't crying, her dad said it was time for her to go home. Well, I wasn't in town this weekend so he just ended up dropping her off at my moms house without even telling me. My mom called me at 9:30 saying he had just dropped her off there. What can I do about this? Anything, do I just have to put up with it?
 


BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
There is more going on here. I would stronly suggest you have your daughter speak with a therapist.

In the meantime, put up with it. Visitation is a right, NOT a requirement.
 

CJane

Senior Member
How old is the child?

BB is totally right, there's really nothing you can do about the situation except encourage dad to keep the kid whether she wants to be there or not, and for YOU to tell the child that no matter how many times she calls you to come and get her, you're not available to do so.
 

tiffani04

Member
She is 5. I told her when she called Saturday she needed to stay with him until Sunday and she was fine with that. She wasn't even crying when she was on the phone with me. And then an hour later my mom calls telling me he has dropped her off at her house. Shouldn't he have to contact me and tell me what he is doing..not just drop her off with whoever will take her. I just don't understand the whole thing...he is supposed to have her every other weekend but he can bring her back whenever he feels like it?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
tiffani04 said:
he is supposed to have her every other weekend but he can bring her back whenever he feels like it?
Pretty much - he's under no obligation to keep her for the whole time. Or even take her at all. You, however, are obliged to make sure she is ready to go.
 
It sounds like dad has other plans Saturday night, and so he wants to return daughter early (though this can not be proven.) Try this: the next time you drop daughter off, make sure you are not home and make sure your mother is not home. If he calls, let him leave a message. See what happens. Does he act desperate? Does he find somewhere else to drop her off?
 

tiffani04

Member
Thanks for the advice. I will definately try the thing with not answering the phone and not being home just to see what he will do.
 

CJane

Senior Member
tiffani04 said:
Thanks for the advice. I will definately try the thing with not answering the phone and not being home just to see what he will do.
You're upset that he dropped your child off at her GRANDMOTHER'S house, and yet you're ok with the idea of 'seeing what he will do'?

You do realize that's insane, right?
 

casa

Senior Member
tiffani04 said:
Thanks for the advice. I will definately try the thing with not answering the phone and not being home just to see what he will do.
Have you tried counseling to find out why the daughter has been so unhappy visiting her Dad?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
tiffani04 said:
Thanks for the advice. I will definately try the thing with not answering the phone and not being home just to see what he will do.
Just a few thoughts. I think it sucks - for the kid - when parents play these games. All she's going to see is that neither of you want her at that particular time. Sure, Dad should hold up his end of things, but he is not legally required to do so - and your daughter isn't going care why it's happening. All she's going to see is that Dad deosn't want her for any more time, Mom can't be bothered to make sure she's available, and then you pull Grandma out of the picture. Ugh.

And... If you DO do this, do not even think of complaining about whatever solution he comes up with regarding a caregiver unless it places your child in provable danger.
 

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