What can I do?

[thinklafiction]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Los Angeles, California

My ex husband has visitation rights on Saturdays and I have custody of the kids for the rest of the other days. I have a business trip requiring me to travel out of state from Friday to Tuesday and I would like to the the kids. I had asked if he would exchange the Saturday for an additional Sunday next week so I can take the kids with me. He refuses to the let the kids go because he's afraid of terrorists so I have to find a sitter for our children. He is disallowing me to find someone to care for our kids and insists his mother should care for them. I do not approve of his mother to care for our children as she is deemed disabled and her disability affects her ability to appropriately care for our children. My ex-husband completely trusts her over someone I am going to find to care for our children. What can I do? What are my rights? Do I have a choice to pick someone to care for our children while I am out of town?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Los Angeles, California

My ex husband has visitation rights on Saturdays and I have custody of the kids for the rest of the other days. I have a business trip requiring me to travel out of state from Friday to Tuesday and I would like to the the kids. I had asked if he would exchange the Saturday for an additional Sunday next week so I can take the kids with me. He refuses to the let the kids go because he's afraid of terrorists so I have to find a sitter for our children. He is disallowing me to find someone to care for our kids and insists his mother should care for them. I do not approve of his mother to care for our children as she is deemed disabled and her disability affects her ability to appropriately care for our children. My ex-husband completely trusts her over someone I am going to find to care for our children. What can I do? What are my rights? Do I have a choice to pick someone to care for our children while I am out of town?

In general, you get to choose who to watch the kids on your time. However, there could be wording in your decree that says that you need to agree on sitters or that gives one parent a right of first refusal. So check your decree.

 

[thinklafiction]

I don't believe such things were discussed or put in writing. We are still going through the divorce process and it's not finalized, including child custody/visitation. Temporary, the court has allowed the kids to stay with me and he is allowed visitation hours. Where would I find such wording? Which decree/form would it be addressed in?
For his 1st right of refusal: If he's working those days, is that considered his refusal?

 

[Isis1]

I don't believe such things were discussed or put in writing. We are still going through the divorce process and it's not finalized, including child custody/visitation. Temporary, the court has allowed the kids to stay with me and he is allowed visitation hours. Where would I find such wording? Which decree/form would it be addressed in?
For his 1st right of refusal: If he's working those days, is that considered his refusal?

those temp orders that are stating you have primary custody are the order that would say who has first right of refusal if that was put in your order at all.

it would really help if you wrote out the child visitation times and schedule in your order for us, so we could help you further.

 

[Isis1]

honestly, he can't stop you from taking the children out of town. however, his court ordered visitation time is in the middle of the trip. and if you are not bound to agree on a sitter during your time, then you can pick your own caretaker. however, dad is under no obligation to leave the children with your caretaker at the end of his visitation time. so yes, he can leave the children with his mother. how old are the children?

 

[thinklafiction]

I applied for fully custody and he only visitation rights but the case is still pending for approval. The temp order states I am custodial parent and he receives visitation 3 times a week, Tues & Thurs from 6 pm - 9pm and Saturdays from 9 am to 8 pm. These schedules were agreed upon between he and I and then the court approved. He is currently paying for child support.

 

[thinklafiction]

My children are 3 and 2 years old only.

 

[Zigner]

I applied for fully custody and he only visitation rights but the case is still pending for approval. The temp order states I am custodial parent and he receives visitation 3 times a week, Tues & Thurs from 6 pm - 9pm and Saturdays from 9 am to 8 pm. These schedules were agreed upon between he and I and then the court approved. He is currently paying for child support.

I would suggest you find a way to make the kids available for his scheduled visitation.

 

[Proserpina]

Also Mom, per the other thread you started I strongly suggest you do NOT tell the court that Dad "never cared" for his children.

Nobody is going to believe that (they've heard it a gazillion times) and it will make you seem like an angry, bitter ex with an ax to grind.

In other words, it will say more about you than him. Remember when you sling mud at someone, your hands get dirty too.

 

[thinklafiction]

Yes, I am trying to make arrangements for a caretaker for my children while I am out of town and make them available to him on Saturday but I don't want him to take our kids to his mother's after his visitation. Recently, my daughter has made comments that her Grandmother abused her. This is why I don't want them to go to his mother's but returned to the caretaker I choose after his visitation. I have called CPS and they are going to investigate and evaluate the situation but that's all currently in the works. What can I do for my children? I can't take them with me because he won't allow me to but I don't want to risk my children to abuse. They are only 2 ad 3 years old. I filed a police report but I guess the police scared her and she was afraid to tell the police what happened. I don't know who taught her to be afraid of the police because we never discussed police officers. What are my options?

 

[Zigner]

The little old lady who is too disabled to properly care for your children is now an abuser of said children? Really?

 

[thinklafiction]

Yes, thank you for correcting me. My grammar is incorrect at times. He just constantly refuses to tend to our children. It's not that he's never, he just refuses and I have to constantly nag him and after nagging him, he would retaliate and we would fight. All the fighting is not good in front of our children and this is why we had to separate because he cannot control his own temper in front of our kids. He has even thrown dresser drawers at me but missed and hit the wall and broke holes in it, all infront of our children. I didn't file a police report because I was afraid that filing it would cause him to be taken away. Only now did I realize that it was not the case and that I should have filed it. What can I do now?

 

[thinklafiction]

Well, I don't have any proof that she really did or not except for what my daughter says. She came home and said grandma cut her with the safety scissors and she pointed to a cut that was consistent with her story. She is only 3 years old. I choose to believe my daughter because I had witnessed Grandma slap my child in the hand when she was only 1 year old. it was because my daughter was not listening to her. I told her never to do that again and subsequently we moved out and grandma did not get to live with us anymore. Thereafter I never witnessed it again but then my daughter is now telling me this so I don't know.

 

[Proserpina]

Yes, I am trying to make arrangements for a caretaker for my children while I am out of town and make them available to him on Saturday but I don't want him to take our kids to his mother's after his visitation. Recently, my daughter has made comments that her Grandmother abused her. This is why I don't want them to go to his mother's but returned to the caretaker I choose after his visitation. I have called CPS and they are going to investigate and evaluate the situation but that's all currently in the works. What can I do for my children? I can't take them with me because he won't allow me to but I don't want to risk my children to abuse. They are only 2 ad 3 years old. I filed a police report but I guess the police scared her and she was afraid to tell the police what happened. I don't know who taught her to be afraid of the police because we never discussed police officers. What are my options?

What exactly did your daughter tell you?

 

[thinklafiction]

She said, "grandma cut me with the safety scissors" and then used her finger to point at the cut (about 1.5 inches long) and it does look like a sharp edged cut. I had asked her if it was an accident and she said no. I trust my daughter.