proudfatherof4
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA
I am currently in the process of having a previous custody order modified. My daughter is 14 and I have tried my hardest to keep a good relationship with her. My most previous order before I filed for the modification stated that I would have partial custody but that her mother and I felt we got along well enough that we would mutually agree on dates and times that would be good for me to see my daughter. My daughter has been in her mother's care for 4 years now, prior to that I had custody.
For the first 2-3 years that she was with her mom I didn't have too much trouble seeing my daughter when I wanted. I would have her for weekends and so on and so forth. The only problem that I faced is that I live 2 hours away. Mom does not want my daughter to come and stay with me in my home that is 2 hours away, which is why I have filed for the modification in the first place. My 14 year old daughter now does not want to come to my home either and has become very agressive and rude toward me.
She was once very loving and excited to see me and the rest of her family. Now she expresses nothing but hate toward us. Her claim is that she has a life where she is at and that she refuses to come to my home. Her mother is supporting that decision and fighting me all the way. The mother is encouraging behavior toward me that should not be permitted. It is too a point where she has convinced my daughter to be afraid of me. I have never so much as spanked my daughter even once. She has no reason to be afraid and I think it is a ploy to avoid coming to my house. They do nothing but harrass me, in fact I can no longer have a normal conversation with her. When I am on the phone with my daughter her mother sits in the background telling my daughter what to say. My daughter mocks me and tells me how much she hates me for trying to make her come for visits where I live. She has even admitted that if I would just drop it she would not act this way. Saturday I received a letter in the mail from her, it was the birthday gift I sent her. She said she would not accept anything from me. Her mother feels the need to discuss everything with my daughter that goes on between us and shows her all correspondance. My daughter has been completely turned against me. I do have evidence which shows the drastic change in behavior, but I fear that things will be destroyed completely if someone does not step in soon.
My attorney has also filed contempt papers because I have been denied my scheduled visits over the last two months. What should I do? At this point I am crushed! My heart is broken! Do I keep on fighting and make her hate me even more or should I just give up like she wants me to do and pray that some day she will regret what she has done and said? What is even worse is that her mother believes that what she is doing is what is best for our daughter. She is abusing my daughter mentally and she doesn't even realize it!
Please help with any advice you can, I am so torn right now!
I am currently in the process of having a previous custody order modified. My daughter is 14 and I have tried my hardest to keep a good relationship with her. My most previous order before I filed for the modification stated that I would have partial custody but that her mother and I felt we got along well enough that we would mutually agree on dates and times that would be good for me to see my daughter. My daughter has been in her mother's care for 4 years now, prior to that I had custody.
For the first 2-3 years that she was with her mom I didn't have too much trouble seeing my daughter when I wanted. I would have her for weekends and so on and so forth. The only problem that I faced is that I live 2 hours away. Mom does not want my daughter to come and stay with me in my home that is 2 hours away, which is why I have filed for the modification in the first place. My 14 year old daughter now does not want to come to my home either and has become very agressive and rude toward me.
She was once very loving and excited to see me and the rest of her family. Now she expresses nothing but hate toward us. Her claim is that she has a life where she is at and that she refuses to come to my home. Her mother is supporting that decision and fighting me all the way. The mother is encouraging behavior toward me that should not be permitted. It is too a point where she has convinced my daughter to be afraid of me. I have never so much as spanked my daughter even once. She has no reason to be afraid and I think it is a ploy to avoid coming to my house. They do nothing but harrass me, in fact I can no longer have a normal conversation with her. When I am on the phone with my daughter her mother sits in the background telling my daughter what to say. My daughter mocks me and tells me how much she hates me for trying to make her come for visits where I live. She has even admitted that if I would just drop it she would not act this way. Saturday I received a letter in the mail from her, it was the birthday gift I sent her. She said she would not accept anything from me. Her mother feels the need to discuss everything with my daughter that goes on between us and shows her all correspondance. My daughter has been completely turned against me. I do have evidence which shows the drastic change in behavior, but I fear that things will be destroyed completely if someone does not step in soon.
My attorney has also filed contempt papers because I have been denied my scheduled visits over the last two months. What should I do? At this point I am crushed! My heart is broken! Do I keep on fighting and make her hate me even more or should I just give up like she wants me to do and pray that some day she will regret what she has done and said? What is even worse is that her mother believes that what she is doing is what is best for our daughter. She is abusing my daughter mentally and she doesn't even realize it!
Please help with any advice you can, I am so torn right now!
