what happens when dad dies?

[ilovemykids]

What is the name of your state? new york
my dad has emphysema. he is in the last stage. two years ago he was really bad and we signed power of attorney papers so i could pay his bills, etc. my mom moved back in recently (she doesn't know about the power of attorney). she is an alcoholic,and when she gets drunk, says things like i can't wait for you to die, i'm going to cremate you,i'm going to have your funeral far away so no one will come,etc. i sat down with my dad and i typed up his wishes (what he wants when he dies). What happens when he dies? can i use my power of attorney to stop my mom from not granting his wishes?How do i do this? All the boxes are checked on the poa giving me permission for everything. He's not unable to make decisions now, but when he is, who will they listen to? me or her?

 

[BlondiePB]

...who will they listen to? me or her?

** Is your mother a felon?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

A POA dies with your father.

Instead, take him to a probate attorney and have him draw a will naming you as executor. Also, have him draw a living will which expresses his wishes during and after his death.

Then sit back and let momma rant and rave.

 

[BlondiePB]

A POA dies with your father.

Instead, take him to a probate attorney and have him draw a will naming you as executor. Also, have him draw a living will which expresses his wishes during and after his death.

Then sit back and let momma rant and rave.

OP stated that dad is unable to make decisions. Therefore, dad cannot make a valid will or a valid living will. Can a felon be an executor in NY?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

OP stated that dad is unable to make decisions. Therefore, dad cannot make a valid will or a valid living will. Can a felon be an executor in NY?

no, a felon can't. But the determination of if dad can make decisions or not isn't for this forum. It's for a judge. And the only way to shut mom up at this point is to help dad get his affairs in order.

If mom wants to contest the wills after dad's death then let her. And I hope she has VERY deep pockets.

 

[BlondiePB]

no, a felon can't.

**OP is a felon. Check her history here on the forum.

But the determination of if dad can make decisions or not isn't for this forum. It's for a judge. And the only way to shut mom up at this point is to help dad get his affairs in order.

**Agree. Any questioning of dad's competency can come back and "bite" OP. Her dad's affairs do need to be put in order. Again, check OP's history here on forum.

If mom wants to contest the wills after dad's death then let her. And I hope she has VERY deep pockets.

**They both may need very deep pockets.

 

[JETX]

OP stated that dad is unable to make decisions. Therefore, dad cannot make a valid will or a valid living will. Can a felon be an executor in NY?

Sorry, but you are wrong. The OP said, "He's not unable to make decisions now, but when he is, who will they listen to? me or her?"

Breeze is correct. While he is able to make decisions (sound mind and all), have him take care of this problem NOW!!!
Absent a valid will saying otherwise, as 'next of kin', his surviving wife will largely be in 'control' and will be able to make any 'physical' (not property) decisions.

 

[BlondiePB]

Sorry, but you are wrong. The OP said, "He's not unable to make decisions now, but when he is, who will they listen to? me or her?"

Breeze is correct. While he is able to make decisions (sound mind and all), have him take care of this problem NOW!!!
Absent a valid will saying otherwise, as 'next of kin', his surviving wife will largely be in 'control' and will be able to make any 'physical' (not property) decisions.

You know, I hate those double negatives.

Hopefully, OPs dad already does have a valid will. She still can't be the executor though. Right?

 

[nextwife]

You and dad may wish to consider preplanning and prepaying for funeral arrangments. ONce that's done, it will make far less sense for Mom to battle for anything different, as the cost will already be covered.

 

[JETX]

She still can't be the executor though. Right?

Correct. In New York state, probate court is called 'Surrogates Court'. The following is from the New York Laws, Surrogate's Court Procedure:

"S 707. Eligibility to receive letters
Letters may issue to a natural person or to a person authorized by law to be a fiduciary except as follows:
1. Persons ineligible
(a) an infant
(b) an incompetent
(c) a non-domiciliary alien except one who is a foreign guardian as provided in subdivision four of section one thousand seven hundred sixteen of this chapter, or one who shall serve with one or more co-fiduciaries, at least one of whom is resident in this state. Any appointment of a non-domiciliary alien fiduciary or a New York resident fiduciary hereunder shall be made by the court in its discretion
(d) a felon
(e) one who does not possess the qualifications required of a fiduciary by reason of substance abuse, dishonesty, improvidence, want of understanding, or who is otherwise unfit for the execution of the office.
2. Persons ineligible in court`s discretion. The court may declare ineligible to act as fiduciary a person unable to read and write the English language."

 

[BlondiePB]

Correct. In New York state, probate court is called 'Surrogates Court'. The following is from the New York Laws, Surrogate's Court Procedure:

"S 707. Eligibility to receive letters
Letters may issue to a natural person or to a person authorized by law to be a fiduciary except as follows:
1. Persons ineligible
(a) an infant
(b) an incompetent
(c) a non-domiciliary alien except one who is a foreign guardian as provided in subdivision four of section one thousand seven hundred sixteen of this chapter, or one who shall serve with one or more co-fiduciaries, at least one of whom is resident in this state. Any appointment of a non-domiciliary alien fiduciary or a New York resident fiduciary hereunder shall be made by the court in its discretion
(d) a felon
(e) one who does not possess the qualifications required of a fiduciary by reason of substance abuse, dishonesty, improvidence, want of understanding, or who is otherwise unfit for the execution of the office.
2. Persons ineligible in court`s discretion. The court may declare ineligible to act as fiduciary a person unable to read and write the English language."

That's almost identical to ineligibility to someone in my position as a fiduciary for others. I do appreciate you catching my oversight due to the double negative.
Will you forgive me? You too, BelizeBreeze. Pretty, please?

I do wish that this sick man does get what he wants. The prearrangements are the way to go.