What if ex doesn't show up?

[deefran]

Okay, got a court date with daughter's biodad in regards to paternity and CS, set for August 14. Suprisingly (NOT), he has quit coming around to see her since he has received the summons. He does not want to signover rights, so my husband (who as we remember, has been there for the last 6 years, while biodad was absent for 8)can adopt her legally. He basically wants to keep his rights to her but also not have to fulfill his obligation to her. SO....I have a very strong feeling that he will not show up in court, as he believes that this will delay the process. He has never legally established paternity. Will the courts set a new court date? Or will there most likely be a ruling in my favor, as they have all the information they need to begin collecting CS?

 

[meleahk1]

when my x didn't show, he lost by default. so a ruling could be made without him.

good luck kiddo

 

[deefran]

Thanks meleahk1....I hate having to do this, wanted to come to an easier agreement, but he wanted me to feel sorry for how his life is...he kept putting off filing paternity, CS, but would not let me and our daughter move forward with our lives...told him either be there or not...I handled it without him for a long time(and actually have no resentment towards him for that) but I do resent him trying to walk into my daughter's life after 8 years of self-imposed absence and thinking he can pick up where he left off with no regards to anyone's rights or feelings other than his own. I am not even going after 8 years back support...why bother...she was taken care of then....I don't want to drain him of all his income either...I was just going to go for $40.00 a week..which will provide for school clothes for her, and other necessities..or even just to keep in her own account for further education. Oh well, I guess you can't be nice when others will just walk all over you when you are.

 

[meleahk1]

even when you don't want to, stay nice, it will get you further in the end. i have a court date on the 14th as well to modify child support. i am going in with an open mind and a clear heart attitude. you will do the same, you seem to be the type of person who will. stay calm and keep the faith.

 

[deefran]

Oh, I never meant I'd be nasty towards him, I am actually quite civil towards him. I never speak ill of him in front of my daughter, I did create a child with this man, and although he and I didn't work out she is a part of him. To put him down would be like putting my child down. I may not like him, but I will always be thankful for her. It's just really hard for me to hear my daughter say, "Was I bad and thats why my real Dad left? If I am really good, will he stay this time?" Although, my husband is there to read her stories at night and take care of her, the realization that the person who helped create you walked away from you is hard to take. I think she is understanding more about him though, because when I told her that he was coming to see her and then he didn't show, yet again..she just said "He doesn't count anyway...my Daddy is the Daddy who loves me."

 

[meleahk1]

right!

 

[BugHogan]

$160 a month is a pittance for him to pay. You are being more than fair in my opinion and I don't blame you for not wanting him to walk in and out of her life whenever he pleases. It's not fair to anyone, especially your daughter. Good luck to you both!