What if she tries to keep them?

[tina5160]

What is the name of your state? Minnesota

My boyfriend is not deviorced yet from his wife. She just got out of prison after 5 1/2 years. When she got out she moved to Florida with her parents. Her family wants to pay for there 2 boys to fly down to see her. Now we are wondering since they are still married, and the papers have not been filed just yet, If she tries to keep them is there anything my boyfriend and I can do?

We want the boys to see her, but if we dont have some assurance that they will be returned we wont let them go. The family lies and keeps things from us, and tries to buy the boys' favor with promises of toys, presents, and anything else they can.

Tina

 

[stealth2]

She has the same rights to the kids as Dad does - why hasn't he bothered formalizing the custody arrangements in all this time? He should likely do so before allowing the kids to go out of state with her, but you can do nothing.

 

[trustknow1]

Everything you posted sounds normal. You just need a parenting plan in place, if you do not have one. Or draft a legal agreement with details of child's custody, itinerary for visit, etc., which both of you sign ,(notarize?). Just construct everything you would need, if this were to happen.

 

[tigger22472]

Everything you posted sounds normal. You just need a parenting plan in place, if you do not have one. Or draft a legal agreement with details of child's custody, itinerary for visit, etc., which both of you sign ,(notarize?). Just construct everything you would need, if this were to happen.

That does this poster's boyfriend NO GOOD. A noterized piece of paper isn't worth what it's written on. We do try very hard at this site NOT to give out bad advice and telling a poster this could put them in the EXACT position the dad is trying to avoid.

The only way to do this is through a court with a court order stipulating custody and visitation.

 

[tina5160]

I should have said more...

she was tried and convicted of 2nd degree homiside of one of there children, and yes he should have done something sooner, but no one is perfect.

Alcoholism, pills for her emotional and psycological problems. We want them to be safe, and come back.

 

[stealth2]

Well, gee, THERE's a tidbit that would be important. I would certainly not send my kids under those circumstances, absent a court order. But he does need to file for custody. And, like, divorce.

Everything you posted sounds normal. You just need a parenting plan in place, if you do not have one. Or draft a legal agreement with details of child's custody, itinerary for visit, etc., which both of you sign ,(notarize?). Just construct everything you would need, if this were to happen.

Absolutely terrible, terrible advice. As tigger said, unless it is signed by a judge, it is worthless. In addition, OP can do none of that - they are not her children.

 

[tigger22472]

she was tried and convicted of 2nd degree homiside of one of there children, and yes he should have done something sooner, but no one is perfect.

Alcoholism, pills for her emotional and psycological problems. We want them to be safe, and come back.

In that case BY NO MEANS send those children to her. Sending them after a conviction like that could put your boyfriend in major trouble and facing neglect charges. Once again he needs to take this to court and have custody settled and at the VERY least fight for (and with that conviction, likely get) supervised visitation for the mom.

 

[LdiJ]

In that case BY NO MEANS send those children to her. Sending them after a conviction like that could put your boyfriend in major trouble and facing neglect charges. Once again he needs to take this to court and have custody settled and at the VERY least fight for (and with that conviction, likely get) supervised visitation for the mom.

Heck, if she actually was convicted of murdering one of her children, its possible that her parental rights have even been terminated, or easily could be.

 

[tina5160]

With her conviction, and that she had to stay 6 months past her mandatory release date, I tell my boyfriend that he shouldnt worry, that a judge would have to be crazy to give her even joint custody. But he worries, because of the whole moms usually get the kids. that is why he is thinking about working this visit out with her, like it will make her work with him on anything.

I agree that he should let them go. I just needed to ask.

 

[tina5160]

Heck, if she actually was convicted of murdering one of her children, its possible that her parental rights have even been terminated, or easily could be.

He didnt want to be that hard on her, and when it came to the hearing for that he just didnt go. Her family lying about how great of a person she is, is what kept her rights from being taken away.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Everything you posted sounds normal. You just need a parenting plan in place, if you do not have one. Or draft a legal agreement with details of child's custody, itinerary for visit, etc., which both of you sign ,(notarize?). Just construct everything you would need, if this were to happen.

WHen are you going to post a CORRECT answer?

THe fact is, he does NOT have to send them PERIOD! And he should not.

Tell hubby to file immediately for a divorce, custody and supervised visitation IN HIS HOME STATE.

 

[casa]

With her conviction, and that she had to stay 6 months past her mandatory release date, I tell my boyfriend that he shouldnt worry, that a judge would have to be crazy to give her even joint custody. But he worries, because of the whole moms usually get the kids. that is why he is thinking about working this visit out with her, like it will make her work with him on anything.

I agree that he should let them go. I just needed to ask.

No. No. No. I would NOT send the child. If Dad has not terminated her parental rights...there is a chance she could keep the children (at least until b/f spends $ and time getting them back) since they are still legally married.

Have Dad go to the court, and get a divorce and custody packet and file the paperwork. He really should get an attorney for this...at the very least gather the police reports &/or Social Services reports re; the homicide.

 

[tina5160]

Both of them want to do the divorce without lawyers. Neither can afford one. The only thing I worry about is if she wants even joint custody. She shouldnt even have that much. He is willing to work out some sort of visitation, but with joint custody she legally has a right to have say in everything regarding them. Since she hasnt even been a part of there lives or even know them really I dont think she should have a say.

 

[bononos]

5 1/2 years for murdering a child?

 

[tina5160]

5 1/2 years for murdering a child?

Arg! See here is the other kicker....she originally didnt get prison time. She got probation. She violated her probation as much as they would allow, so she was sent to prison. I hope that tube of lipstick was worth it.

I obviously cant stand the woman. I have no respect for her, she claims that even during the time she was in prison her boys were her priority. However everytime a parole hearing came up she was denied for some reason or another, it is known that one time was sharing meds with another inmate. And she wont talk about any of the other things she did. But like I said she had a mandatory release date of sometime in Jan. She didnt get out until late June. Then without even trying to see the boys up and left for Florida. She does have a PO there, and we are waiting on the DOC in FL to send us her POs information so we can contact him/her. I do think I will try to talk to him and even though she will go psycho if he says they can't go, I think he will agree with all that is said here. And that is why we wanted to do check before we even said for sure they could go.


long winded I know. I am just glad to have a tool like this.