what if we cant agree

[stresseddivorce]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

My wife and I have come to a point where we have agreed on everything except she wants a cost of living allowance(which would be about an extra $175 per month, compounded yearly for 10 years and wants more than i am willing to offer the last 2 years since only one child will be covered at that time. This difference actually adds up to about $50k more over the 10 years i will be paying alimony/child support. If we cant agree, what if i refuse to go to court and just say, we will live apart and i will pay what ever bills i am responsible for. I know if we have to go to court and get forensic accountants involved and depositions, it could cost thousands to tens of thousands. I also know if we go to court, there is a good chance the judge will not offer my wife as much as i am offering but she just does not see it that way.

 

[mistoffolees]

If you don't agree, then you will be in court.

Yes, you could say that you'll continue to live apart but your stbx is unlikely to agree to that - and it's a lousy idea, anyway. Your assets will continue to grow and the problem only gets worse.

The court is unlikely to allow a fixed COLA. However, whether you agree on a number or the court assigns one, she can ask for a review after a change in circumstances or after a given amount of time has elapsed (depends on the state).

 

[stresseddivorce]

just to clarify, is it common for the court to give COLA, or they will just state the alimony and child support amounts for x years, and that is what i am responsible for.

 

[nextwife]

Child suppport adjusments are based on income. I would not agree to a fixed amount of increase in advance, you have no idea where your income will be in the future, nor your health. My employers sure never just automatically increased my income a fixed precent every year "just because". If you earn more, potentially CS can be adjusted, but folks aren't automatically paid more just because stuff costs more. Many people I know are earning LESS today than two years ago. What is you are ill, or your industry takes a hit and you earn LESS?

What about HER income increasing? Is her employer guarantying COLA increases in what she is paid? Most do not. Which is why CS should not increase unless income increases.

And as to alimony and HER income, the plan should be to work TOWARD her self sufficiency, not increasae her dependence. After all you could become ill, disabled, unemployed, etc, and if she is so heavilly relying on you years from now, after the kids are aged out of CS, she'll be in big trouble. CS ends one day, and she'll need to be working toward doing fine on her own eventually.

 

[LdiJ]

just to clarify, is it common for the court to give COLA, or they will just state the alimony and child support amounts for x years, and that is what i am responsible for.

It is not common at all for the courts to give COLA. However, child support is never "fixed" its always modifiable based on income. Alimony may or may not be modifiable, depending on what is agreed upon or what a judge orders.

In other words, no matter what you agree upon/the judge orders now, it does not guarantee that you will be permanently fixed at that level.

 

[stresseddivorce]

It is not common at all for the courts to give COLA. However, child support is never "fixed" its always modifiable based on income. Alimony may or may not be modifiable, depending on what is agreed upon or what a judge orders.

In other words, no matter what you agree upon/the judge orders now, it does not guarantee that you will be permanently fixed at that level.

so does that mean that even if the divorce agreement is non modifiable that it can still be modified as it pertains to child support?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

child support is modifiable. Look at state guidelines as to how often. Many times, it is either a matter of x amount of time or x amount of dollars.

 

[LdiJ]

so does that mean that even if the divorce agreement is non modifiable that it can still be modified as it pertains to child support?

Child support is ALWAYS modifiable.

 

[stresseddivorce]

i just reread my initial posting and i was not clear about how the cola was applied. she wanted it applied to both child support and alimony. i understand the child support responses but does cola usually apply to alimony or is she being totally unreasonable.

 

[LdiJ]

i just reread my initial posting and i was not clear about how the cola was applied. she wanted it applied to both child support and alimony. i understand the child support responses but does cola usually apply to alimony or is she being totally unreasonable.

Again, a judge would be very unlikely to ever order a cola for either child support or alimony. Child support is always modifiable so a cola is not needed, and colas for alimony are extremely rare unless the parties happen to agree to such.

 

[stresseddivorce]

that is great. thanks for the clarification