What Is Sole Custody?

[flygrl]

Its not supposed to be about who wins or who loses. Its supposed to be about the children. Based on your posts do you think that this present scenerio that you're in is 'winning?'

I have not sent ONE complaint to the court EVER. I have not attacked my X. I have shown in good faith that I was willing to negotiate a new parenting plan.

He is the one who has maliciously attacked me and kept us in court for frivilous matters for all this time. Not once have I been found in contempt - and as a matter of fact the judge has said in his statements that my X's motions to the court are "not well taken".

Many on this forum would like to make my situation what it is not. Anyone can take words out of context.

I don't appreciate the claims that I am "playing games".

I don't stand to gain anything personally from this situation with my X. In fact, it has cost me thousands of $$$. The reason I stand strong is for my children. I believe that they are the ones who have a right to both parents, a secure financial future and a loving environment. My X has been clouded by the jealousy and selfishness of his new wife and hopefully soon he will see the light and he will once again be the loving caring father that he was.

And no - this is not about a relationship between him and me. Once we were divorced we did not interact except for matters of the children. We have had completely seperate lives for 8 years.

cvg

 

[haiku]

. My X has been clouded by the jealousy and selfishness of his new wife and hopefully soon he will see the light and he will once again be the loving caring father that he was.
cvg

OK...this is like talking to a wall but I am bored so whatever.....


it is NO longer (nor was it ever really) your job to MAKE the father of your children be who YOU want him to be.

get OVER the fact he is not what you think is ideal. he does not have to be. you do not own him any more than you own your children. Take your kids to counseling, and MOVE ON.

If I was divorced from you (and I am a mother) I would have packed up and moved cross country from you too, if your posts are any indication of your real life obsession with your ex's "perfection" as a father.

He pays his support (whether he bitches and hems and haws he does, right?) And he exercises his visitation. ( So his wifes a bitch, big deal, get your kids counseling) so they don't have a room there, again BIG DEAL, he pays support so they have a room at YOUR house (again get your kids counseling)

There is NO problem There. but there is a problem at YOUR house.

 

[flygrl]

OK...this is like talking to a wall but I am bored so whatever.....


it is NO longer (nor was it ever really) your job to MAKE the father of your children be who YOU want him to be.

I am not - nor have I ever tried to MAKE him anything. I don't know where you get this stuff from.

What I would like is for him to stop attacking ME because HE can't get what he wants and that is for him and his wife to have the children and for me to go away forever.

I can understand they don't like me - I don't like them either (geez, why do you think we divorced) but who cares. But there is a difference between not liking someone (who they don't even talk to) and running that person thru the court system on numerous counts of frivilous contempt charges just to ruin me financially.

This all has VERY little to do with the children and all to do with a wealthy man who can't have what he wants.

I am, I guess from a very nieve place that thinks that the children should be treated with love and respect in both homes. I can see that so many second wives just think of the husbands kids as baggage and a pain. That is so sad to me. I would never marry a man and treat his children terribly. I would never ask a man to choose between me and his children - it would be MY opportunity to blend in with the new family and I would never tolerate a man coming between me and my children either.

You know - I think that so many people are out for revenge or to hurt someone that they forget that there are ways to make things work for everyone - it just takes time and patience.

 

[crystal shaddea]

your best bet is to take it to court.if you really feel that your children are going to hurt by sending them to their father then take it to court. thats all you really can do.

 

[LdiJ]

OK...this is like talking to a wall but I am bored so whatever.....


it is NO longer (nor was it ever really) your job to MAKE the father of your children be who YOU want him to be.

I am not - nor have I ever tried to MAKE him anything. I don't know where you get this stuff from.

What I would like is for him to stop attacking ME because HE can't get what he wants and that is for him and his wife to have the children and for me to go away forever.

I can understand they don't like me - I don't like them either (geez, why do you think we divorced) but who cares. But there is a difference between not liking someone (who they don't even talk to) and running that person thru the court system on numerous counts of frivilous contempt charges just to ruin me financially.

This all has VERY little to do with the children and all to do with a wealthy man who can't have what he wants.

I am, I guess from a very nieve place that thinks that the children should be treated with love and respect in both homes. I can see that so many second wives just think of the husbands kids as baggage and a pain. That is so sad to me. I would never marry a man and treat his children terribly. I would never ask a man to choose between me and his children - it would be MY opportunity to blend in with the new family and I would never tolerate a man coming between me and my children either.

You know - I think that so many people are out for revenge or to hurt someone that they forget that there are ways to make things work for everyone - it just takes time and patience.

Look....I actually sympathize with your situation and feel that you are being treated too harshly here. I have thought so since day one.

However, the long and short of things is:

1. You can't stop dad from taking you to court over frivolous matters. You can only hope that the judge will get fed up with him and make him start paying you legal fees.

2. You can't stop the stepmother's negative treatment of your children. All you can do is take them to a counselor to both help them overcome this, and to have it documented.

3. You can't make dad be a better dad. Again, all you can do is take them to counseling to help them overcome it.

Get your children counseling...they really do need it. Stop stewing over dad and just give your children the best/happiest life that you can.