What kind of legal binding agreement can be made of this?

[redman24]

What is the name of your state? TN
My son's mother alienated him from me, and he now hates me. I paid for a very expensive forensive psychological assessment where it was determined that there was found evidence of parental alienation. In light of the fact that my son hates me, I really don't want to fight it in court, although my attorney tells me I would win full custody due to the evidence of alienation. I stopped paying child support when this happened and my sons mother has told me she will make a deal with her: don't take her to court, don't see my son at all, and when he turns 18, she will deposit through the system all the back child support that she otherwise would be able to pursue me for.

I am fed up and just want to move on, I do not want to deal with the court system anymore, so I want to accept her offer, however I don't trust her. What if my son turns 18 and she refuses to deposit the money and cancel my child support arrearage?

so the question becomes... I know you can't excuse child support, so is there a way to make a legal contract out of that, where if I do what she asks, she will be legally obligated to follow through on her end of the contract?

 

[cbg]

Posting hx

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state? TN
My son's mother alienated him from me, and he now hates me. I paid for a very expensive forensive psychological assessment where it was determined that there was found evidence of parental alienation. In light of the fact that my son hates me, I really don't want to fight it in court, although my attorney tells me I would win full custody due to the evidence of alienation. I stopped paying child support when this happened and my sons mother has told me she will make a deal with her: don't take her to court, don't see my son at all, and when he turns 18, she will deposit through the system all the back child support that she otherwise would be able to pursue me for.

I am fed up and just want to move on, I do not want to deal with the court system anymore, so I want to accept her offer, however I don't trust her. What if my son turns 18 and she refuses to deposit the money and cancel my child support arrearage?

so the question becomes... I know you can't excuse child support, so is there a way to make a legal contract out of that, where if I do what she asks, she will be legally obligated to follow through on her end of the contract?

I am not seeing any defamation claim that would be easy to pursue if based strictly on your belief that your ex-spouse has alienated you from your son.

And I see no enforceable contract that could be negotiated between you and your ex-spouse that would excuse your court-ordered child support obligations.

I DO see that you are making a major mistake by stopping child support payments.

I suggest you consult with an attorney in your area for direction. You currently are headed the wrong way.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? TN
My son's mother alienated him from me, and he now hates me. I paid for a very expensive forensive psychological assessment where it was determined that there was found evidence of parental alienation. In light of the fact that my son hates me, I really don't want to fight it in court, although my attorney tells me I would win full custody due to the evidence of alienation. I stopped paying child support when this happened and my sons mother has told me she will make a deal with her: don't take her to court, don't see my son at all, and when he turns 18, she will deposit through the system all the back child support that she otherwise would be able to pursue me for.

I am fed up and just want to move on, I do not want to deal with the court system anymore, so I want to accept her offer, however I don't trust her. What if my son turns 18 and she refuses to deposit the money and cancel my child support arrearage?

so the question becomes... I know you can't excuse child support, so is there a way to make a legal contract out of that, where if I do what she asks, she will be legally obligated to follow through on her end of the contract?

Such a contract would be almost certainly unenforceable.

 

[quincy]

Here is a link to one of your other threads, redman24, that was created on December 3, 2017, when your son was 14-years-old:

https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/want-to-sign-away-my-parental-rights-and-responsibilities-for-teenager.639975/

And here is a link to your thread from earlier this year:

https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/therapist-malpractice.659522/

It is too bad that you have been unable to form a healthy relationship with your son in the years since your divorce. Trying to sign away your parental rights would tend to make any child feel unloved. Stopping all child support payments and/or not paying child support as ordered can also color a child’s opinion of the parent ordered to pay.

As a note, not that it seems to apply to what you have posted: The statute of limitations for defamation claims in Tennessee is 6 months for slander actions and one year for claims of libel.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? TN
My son's mother alienated him from me, and he now hates me. I paid for a very expensive forensive psychological assessment where it was determined that there was found evidence of parental alienation. In light of the fact that my son hates me, I really don't want to fight it in court, although my attorney tells me I would win full custody due to the evidence of alienation. I stopped paying child support when this happened and my sons mother has told me she will make a deal with her: don't take her to court, don't see my son at all, and when he turns 18, she will deposit through the system all the back child support that she otherwise would be able to pursue me for.

According to your previous thread you did not pay for the psychological assessment. Your complaint on that thread was that mom paid off the therapist.

I am fed up and just want to move on, I do not want to deal with the court system anymore, so I want to accept her offer, however I don't trust her. What if my son turns 18 and she refuses to deposit the money and cancel my child support arrearage?

so the question becomes... I know you can't excuse child support, so is there a way to make a legal contract out of that, where if I do what she asks, she will be legally obligated to follow through on her end of the contract?

I do not believe that is possible. However, if mom has never been on any kind of state assistance she might be able to decline the assistance of the child support agency in collecting the child support and arrears.

Dad, you have to understand that child support is not an admission ticket to see your child. The purpose of child support is to help ensure that the state does not have to support your child. I am truly sorry that you lost your relationship with your child, and I hope that you can regain an adult relationship with him.

 

[quincy]

You have not trusted your ex-spouse for years. I do not see why you would trust her on any agreement over child support now.

It is important to note that there is no limitations period on collections of past due child support.

 

[redman24]

According to your previous thread you did not pay for the psychological assessment. Your complaint on that thread was that mom paid off the therapist.

The therapist that the mother paid off was the one (I thought) I hired to help me reconcile. Then it proceeded to a forensic psychologist who does assessments but does not do therapy.

 

[LdiJ]

The therapist that the mother paid off was the one (I thought) I hired to help me reconcile. Then it proceeded to a forensic psychologist who does assessments but does not do therapy.

That is really terrible. I do disagree with your attorney however that you would win full custody. Your child is 17, and most judges will not do something that a 17 year old is adamantly opposed to. Why?, because it would just make things worse for both you and your son. It's bad enough that he wants nothing to do with you right now. There is every possibility that could change once he becomes and adult and can make his own decisions. However, if you were to force him into your custody now, you both would end up living a miserable existence until he turns 18 and bolts from your house.

 

[quincy]

The therapist that the mother paid off was the one (I thought) I hired to help me reconcile. Then it proceeded to a forensic psychologist who does assessments but does not do therapy.

It is sad that the reconciliation efforts failed.

It is possible that once your son becomes an adult and moves away from under the influence of his mother, you will be able to connect with your son and grow a positive relationship.

This has a greater chance of happening if you do not shirk your obligations to your son now. I really recommend you pay the child support you were ordered to pay and make arrangements to pay off the arrearage.

 

[zddoodah]

I don't entirely follow your post. If you stopped paying child support, you are in contempt of court. Pay to support your child.

 

[quincy]

I don't entirely follow your post. If you stopped paying child support, you are in contempt of court. Pay to support your child.

Please read the posting history.