what name shall be written?

[abigail atkisson]

please halp?leaglebeagle?

in indiana; ex boyfriend(father of my son) says he's going to sue me to change my son's surname.i feel he's doing it out of spite.he has a criminal record(dui's)can that help my case?i'm not sure if he will stay in sons life?should i get a attorney now or wait for him to pursue?please help.don't want to change sons name, its a beautiful name.
his name is not on the birth cert. yet.we just got the paternity results a week ago.son is 5 months old.he hasn't been around since i got pregnant. but that's not my reason for contesting the surname.i just don't think it would be right.

[Edited by abigail atkisson on 05-14-2001 at 03:38 PM]

 

[Ambr]

assuming that he is on the birth certificate as the father.

when i had my third child i was not married to his father. i was still going by my married name (from my ex). i was given the choice of what last name my child could carry. he could carry my maiden name, his fathers last name or my current last name (from my ex).

which name was up to the mother. although the father does have the right to petition the courts to change the name of the child.

i wouldn't go into court (if he were to petition for the change) with the attitude that i didn't want my child to carry his last name because of his history of duis, or any other criminal history. you are basically stating that you don't want the last name because you don't want the child to be associated with his father. bad move.

i would come across more that the child's last name is the same last name that you carry. you wanted the child to have a sense of belonging, security. the people who are around the child, you, your parents (grandparents), etc. all have the same last name and it will give the child a sense of family and belonging.

you might point out that the father isn't exactly stable in the relationship of the child and has a tendency to come and out as he pleases. you want a more stable life for your child than that.

 

[dorenephilpot]

Ambr's advice is good, as usual.

You didn't mention support issues, but if he is the father, he needs to be paying you support for the child. If he hasn't been doing so, he'll likely have a pretty big arrearage to catch up w/you.

Don't let that slip by because you're trying to be "fair." What's fair is for the child to be supported financially by both parents.

Best of luck to you!