What Say So Do I Have As Ncp In My Duahgter's Life

[frankg86]

What is the name of your state? SC
Want to have say so in life of 2 year old daughter even tho i'm the ncp. What can i do when it gets to visitation court to have some say so?

 

[BL]

If an Order of Custody hasn't been made yet, ask for " JOINT CUSTODY " . This will let you have say in all MAJOR life decision regarding the child.

More teeth than just visitations would give you., and more chance for physical Custody down the road if you would decide to file for it.

Keep in mind if the other party has primary physical Custody, the day to day decisions are theirs except when you have your visitations.

Joint Custody can be setup in different arrangements. Some have 6 months on/off , some have entire summers and visitations in the meantime.

No matter what,you are entitled to ALL the child's records unless court restricted.

 

[stealth2]

What's the arrangement now, and do you have a court order?

 

[frankg86]

Right now trying to go thru DSS for visitation rights. No court order yet. Tried to work things out between ourselves. Now wont speak to me & dont know why. Daughter always lived with girlfriend.

 

[stealth2]

Well, how old is the child? Had the two of you been living together until recently? If not (and it sounds like possibly not), what was the visitation arrangement up to now?

Give us some more details, Frank, so we can help you more realistically. But if we have to drag info out like we're pulling teeth, it's going to bve agonizing for all.

 

[frankg86]

Me & girlfriend dont live together. Only court agreement was child support of $223.90 every 2 weeks taken out of paycheck. Quite alot as my job is at $9 hour. Daughter born SEP-16-01. Wasnt there for birth & havent got to see her past 2 birthdays. Girlfriend hasnt spoken to me alot of the time & wont explain why. Times we got together, spent with girlfriend & daughter. Since AUG-03, visitation was for a 2 hour visit on when she felt like. Now trying thru DSS to court visitation as her 'visitation' is total BS.

 

[BL]

Why Custody/visitations through DSS and not the Court ??
Or is that the way they do it in your State ??

 

[frankg86]

DSS said they'd pay the court fee. Last Dec-02, had court date, but we decided to try to work things ourselves as DNA results werent back. I'm the father 99.99%. Lost out on $100+ court cost then.

 

[stealth2]

The long and the short of it that w/o court-ordered visitation, you have no legs. She doesn't have to let you spend time with the kid. If it's important to you, you'll find a way to pay the court fees and get it done the right way.

 

[BL]

Just to add , you can file for Joint Custody & Visitations, and represent yourself.

If you have DNA stating your the Father , you entitled at the very least visitations.

You would do well asking to sit in on a few Family Court Custody/visitation cases, do some research on the Net , to familiarize yourself with court procedure & terminology.

It doesn't cost a penny to file a Petition, or have your case heard, if you really can't afford it, excerpt if you have to pay to have the other Party served the summons to appear in court.
If they are local you can have anyone 18 yrs or older serve them, and fill out an affidavit of Person Service.There may be a small cost of having that notarized.

As the prior poster stated if you truly want visits established get on the ball and do it through the court.

 

[frankg86]

The DNA proved 99.99% that i'm the dad. Right now i've went thru DSS for petition for visitation. They've contacted the exgirlfriend, who inturn has contacted a lawyer (family friend) that has contacted me wanting for me to dismiss this. NO WAY WILL THAT HAPPEN. This had made me thought of adding for joint custody to the visitation. What are my options on this. Right now staying with parents due to personal reason, will this affect chance of joint custody? What is my next recommended options?

 

[nextwife]

Good for you! FIGHT to have your rights established legally.

Your ex obviously wanted you to be the father - financially. Well, it's a whole package. You are the father, so you have the right to go to court and get your rights into a court order. You are the Dad. This child has TWO parents, she may as well start getting used to that idea.

Didn't she want to establish that you are the father? Well, she did, you are, and that means you want to BE the father. Not just a wallet.

 

[frankg86]

Thanks for the nice reply. Got email from her lawyer stating of possible visitation every other Saturday from 9am-noon till this is resolved in court. What am i to think of this sudden change of 'heart'? Have to bring child seat for 30+lbs child, diapers, wipes, not bad. The only thing is daughter never was alone with me as me and ex did spend time together with daughter. Or the last few visits, ex mom was at house when i visited the '2 hour visits'. Dont want to cause stress for daughter, but at same time do want to see her and spend time with her.

 

[karma1]

I didn't read through all the replies, but

you might find more info on this site
www.deltabravo.net

read everything on there~
good luck

 

[nextwife]

Our daughter had never spent a minute alone with us prior to her 25th month, when she came here from her orphanage, the only place she'd ever been since placed there at a few weeks old. She did fine and I am sure you will, too. Just remember to always stay calm and be patient.

And don't be afraid to go for a court order that gives you MORE than 3 lousy hours every other week. Go for every other weekend and one night a week IF your situation allows for it. THe more time, the more "normal" your relationship with each other will be. Just remember, you ARE her father, it is natural for fathers to have regular time with their kids.