What should CP do to protect child if something happens to him?

[m5634]

What is the name of your state? KS

The court with jurisdiction, has suspended the NCP (the mother’s)
Visitation & stayed until further order of the court. This is for many reasons, including safety of the child. Court documentation & other documents proved, Mom is uncooperative with the courts, including outright violations of the PP ordered last year. She has very little interest in this child. She has lost custody of some of her other kids.

Her attorney doesn’t know where she is. Doubtful her attorney will represent her again, for not paying for services rendered. Also she lied to her attorney & said she gave Dad her new address. Call was recorded, so the attorney looked like a fool in court, when Dad’s attorney could prove Mom lied.

Mom moved to another state a few years ago & lost custody. Dad doesn’t know where she is. Mom could have easily moved to another state & CP wouldn’t have any idea. Dad checked with last known employer, checked with last known landlord, and the phone # she had last summer has been disconnected. Mom always has an unlisted #. When she has called child in the past, she blocks the # and won’t give Dad her new #. In the past she has left messages for the child on the answering machine, but won’t leave info for her child to contact her.

Mom hasn’t spoken with child in over 5 months. Child was supposed to have summer visitation with her.

CP just wants to make sure the child is safe, and not in an environment where there is domestic abuse, drug & alcohol abuse, etc.

Can CP have some kind of document drawn up to protect child, if something were to happen to him, & so Mom doesn’t end up with custody?

 

[Zephyr]

What is the name of your state? KS

The court with jurisdiction, has suspended the NCP (the mother’s)
Visitation & stayed until further order of the court. This is for many reasons, including safety of the child. Court documentation & other documents proved, Mom is uncooperative with the courts, including outright violations of the PP ordered last year. She has very little interest in this child. She has lost custody of some of her other kids.

Her attorney doesn’t know where she is. Doubtful her attorney will represent her again, for not paying for services rendered. Also she lied to her attorney & said she gave Dad her new address. Call was recorded, so the attorney looked like a fool in court, when Dad’s attorney could prove Mom lied.

Mom moved to another state a few years ago & lost custody. Dad doesn’t know where she is. Mom could have easily moved to another state & CP wouldn’t have any idea. Dad checked with last known employer, checked with last known landlord, and the phone # she had last summer has been disconnected. Mom always has an unlisted #. When she has called child in the past, she blocks the # and won’t give Dad her new #. In the past she has left messages for the child on the answering machine, but won’t leave info for her child to contact her.

Mom hasn’t spoken with child in over 5 months. Child was supposed to have summer visitation with her.

CP just wants to make sure the child is safe, and not in an environment where there is domestic abuse, drug & alcohol abuse, etc.

Can CP have some kind of document drawn up to protect child, if something were to happen to him, & so Mom doesn’t end up with custody?

you cannot will a child- bio parents always have the first rights to custody- the other option would be terminating her rights and step mom adopting the child

 

[m5634]

There isn't a step-mom!

Court documents can prove that child isn't safe to live with NCP if something would happen to the father.

Let's put it this way. The step-dad has a very violent temper. Has abused his own bio-children, both his ex-wife, and the bio-Mom of this child. He has abused at least one of her minor children. He has also assaulted bio-Dad and threatened his life again last summer. CP is of small build, and step-dad is big & intimidating. Having seen the court documents myself on the Step-dad, I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to kill the Dad. The step-dad claims child is his, and paternity tests prove otherwise. Step-Dad has child call him "Dad" when child is there for summer visitation. The Step-Dad traumatized his own teenage son a couple of summers ago during his visitation. This child has been in therapy ever since. The teenager won't even tell his Mom what happened to him. Needless to say the teenager hasn't seen his Dad since & wants nothing to do with him.

Step-Dad has drug, alcohol abuse, & domestic violence record. Is waiting to be sentenced for 4th degree assault, & malicious intent against this bio-Mom. She dropped the NCO order again. Just like she has in the past, when he has abused her.

If they can't find Mom, what happens to the child? It would be a tragedy for this child to end up in the foster care system, when he has other family members that are more than capable of giving this child a loving & safe stable environment.

 

[Zephyr]

and mom's husband frankly has nothing to do with anything- if mom is the only remaining bio parent- she will get the child- so regardless of the fact that it sounds horrid- she gets first dibs- unless her rights are terminated.....and it's would be hard to get that done without a step mom to adopt

 

[LdiJ]

and mom's husband frankly has nothing to do with anything- if mom is the only remaining bio parent- she will get the child- so regardless of the fact that it sounds horrid- she gets first dibs- unless her rights are terminated.....and it's would be hard to get that done without a step mom to adopt

I am going to disagree slightly. She gets first dibs unless her rights have been terminated OR she can be proven legally unfit.

I can't guarantee that they have enough to prove her legally unfit...particularly if stepdad goes to jail and is no longer in her home....but that is one possibility that shouldn't be overlooked.

OP - Don't panic about the kids ending up in foster care. If mom is awol or proven unfit another relative can get custody. Dad can express a preference for a guardian in his will....its not binding on the courts, but at least his wishes would be on record should mom be awol or about to be proven unfit.

 

[m5634]

Would abandonment be seen as a reason for a Judge to terminate her rights?

Thanks for the advice on the will!

So much for the best interest of the child! Hopefully, nothing will happen to this Dad, before this child is of age.

If the child would be injured, and the Mom needed to be notified, the Dad has no way to contact her.

This Mom will never willingly terminate her rights, because she never wanted bio-dad to have any contact with his child. He has court documents to prove it. She only wanted to collect child support from him.

She chooses not to have a relationship with this child 10 months out of the year and she doesn’t show any interest in wanting to know how he does in school, extra-curricular activities, etc. I can’t imagine not having a relationship with my kids. Not knowing what they’re learning, doing, what their likes & dislikes are. Not taking the opportunity to see how they change & grow.

As a result of some other things that happened when her child was in her care, this child is now in therapy.

Bio-dad has never kept bio-Mom from having a relationship with her child. When Judge ordered change of custody to him, bio-Mom wouldn’t agree on a PP. She wanted her child back or nothing. She was very upset when she found out she lost her child support.

For 5 yrs. Mom would call when she wanted the child for the summer, with the understanding he would be returned by a certain date, so the child could start school on time.

The custody order was very specific what both parents were to do, if they were going to move. Every year she kept returning him later & later. She wants to hurt the bio-Dad, by keeping the child, against court orders. She would move while the child was there and hide him. Cutting off all contact between the child & bio-Dad. Dad had to get the police involved. Last year because of her refusal to send the child back, the child missed almost 3 weeks of school. The child was clearly relieved when he finally got back home.

As far as the step-dad goes, I’m sure he knows he has no legal rights in any of this mess, but that doesn’t keep him from putting his nose where it doesn’t belong. Step-dad has gone to jail, but bio-Mom always takes him back. Doesn’t matter if he’s been in jail for 2 months or 6 months.

A person that the bio-Dad knows works with children that have been abused. She says it takes a lot of evidence to get parents visitation rights suspended. The Judge heard just some of the evidence and immediately made his decision, based on her proven conduct & court documents. I think the longer she waits to contact the court or an attorney, will show her lack of interest in this child, and may be viewed by the Judge as abandonment.

 

[stealth2]

Do a search of the boards - I believe you can set up a provisional guardianship in the event of your death. It's been discussed several times.

 

[ceara19]

Do a search of the boards - I believe you can set up a provisional guardianship in the event of your death. It's been discussed several times.

Your right. Although it's true that a person cannot "will" a child, other arrangements can be made in addition to provisional guardianship.

If the court has good cause to suspend or severely limit the NCP's access to the child, it can be further stipulated that upon the death of the CP, John Doe (in my case, my mother) shall have legal guardianship of the minor children until such time as the NCP petitions the court to review the findings in section XXX of this order and a new order is issued by this court.

That's not the EXACT wording because I don't have my order in front of me right now, but if anyone would like the exact wording, I can pull it up.

Of course, the CP must first prove to the court that the NCP is unfit. Obviously, since I haven't actually DIED yet, I have no idea if it will hold up in court. The intention of the order is to shift the burden of proof. Instead of my mother (or other concerned relative) being required to petition the court and prove that he is unfit, he will have to initiate the action and prove that he IS fit because the court has already issued a ruling concerning his parental fitness.

 

[m5634]

Thanks Ceara! Could you please send me the wording your using for guardianship?

I would like to get this info sent to the bio-Dad, so he get something in place in the event of his death.

If the mother would ever get custody again, as a result of Dad’s death, the child will have zero chance to grow up and become a productive, honest citizen in this society. His chances greatly increase that he will fall into trouble, just as most of his older siblings already have and find himself in trouble with the law.

If Mom contacted her last lawyer and found out her visitation rights have been suspended, I hope the lawyer tells her it's most likely she won't ever get unsupervised visitation again. The Mom’s continuing conduct should speak volumes to any Judge.

 

[ceara19]

I would like to get this info sent to the bio-Dad, so he get something in place in the event of his death.

If the mother would ever get custody again, as a result of Dad’s death, the child will have zero chance to grow up and become a productive, honest citizen in this society. His chances greatly increase that he will fall into trouble, just as most of his older siblings already have and find himself in trouble with the law.

If Mom contacted her last lawyer and found out her visitation rights have been suspended, I hope the lawyer tells her it's most likely she won't ever get unsupervised visitation again. The Mom’s continuing conduct should speak volumes to any Judge.

Will do. If you'll turn on your Private Messages I'll send it to you directly.

 

[m5634]

Ceara

I have turned on the PM.