first off i apologise everyone if this is the wrong place to be writing this, but i really dont know what else to do.. i signed up as a spur of the moment thing seeking advice, im not sure if this is the right place, sorry if its not! this may seem really petty to you but i feel proper stuck 
well...
I was with my ex for a year and a half before we ended the relationship, a few months later we got back in touch and decided to give it another go. for the majority of the time we were practically on and off, arguing over silly things and just generally didn't get along. but after we properly finished she pleaded with me to stay.
5 months later here i am, and we've recently ended it again, or more so, I ended it again. for the majority of our relationship we argued over silly things, we made eachother very insecure about eachother and knew way too much about eachothers pasts to actually live a healthy relationship. we also had a lot of trust issues, but i learned to trust her and she said she learned to trust me, but i dont think she really ever did :/ we slipped away from our friends, and only ever went out when we'd finish for a day or two. it sounds really petty. also, i cant help feeling that aside from being in love with me, i was kind of like a trophey to her, because a few girls from where she lives fancy me, and she was just like 'nah, he's mine' kind of thing :/ shes even on two occasions hit me, she was very drunk but still i dont see that as an excuse, she promised never to do it again and hasnt, but the fact she did it still haunts me! maybe shes capable of anything? ive told her this and she says that if i still think that of her then she doesnt even want to be with me, but i cant help but feel scared of what shes capable of if pushed enough!
although it werent all good, we did have some amazing times! we really do love eachother, but as much as i love her and hate seeing her heart broken, i dont know if i should go back? i keep thinking that maybe just maybe it could change, yet again, if it would it would have been before all this time :/ shes phoning me, emailing me and is so upset and i hate that! shes sooo adamant shes changed and that we can be different, and for a while we was, but we somehow end up down that rut! and its been a 2 year process nye on, if it was going to change it would by now dont you think?1
i dont know, i guess im just searching for the 'ok' to finish it, i know shes wrong for me but theres a small part of me thats saying maybe it can work! i know its wrong to go back out of guilt, but i do think i am attatched tp her, but on the other hand the thought of spending the rest of my life with her, that makes me feel insecue :/ the thought of her being with someone really hurts me, but i cant help but think that if we were to give it another try that more bad than good would come. its a really sticky situation :/
i havnt exactly been a walk in the park, but maybe its because deep down i dont want it and am reacting to it badly by staying with her not to upset her? i cant explain it any better, but i really dont know if i should give it yet another go with her? i cant BARE to hurt huer or think of her hurting, she's not exactly happy living with her mother and doesnt get along with her very well, im kind of her 'rock' but i guess ive got to think of number one? i feel genuinly stuck! its so confusing, how can two people who love eachother like us just not get along? im stuck
well...I was with my ex for a year and a half before we ended the relationship, a few months later we got back in touch and decided to give it another go. for the majority of the time we were practically on and off, arguing over silly things and just generally didn't get along. but after we properly finished she pleaded with me to stay.
5 months later here i am, and we've recently ended it again, or more so, I ended it again. for the majority of our relationship we argued over silly things, we made eachother very insecure about eachother and knew way too much about eachothers pasts to actually live a healthy relationship. we also had a lot of trust issues, but i learned to trust her and she said she learned to trust me, but i dont think she really ever did :/ we slipped away from our friends, and only ever went out when we'd finish for a day or two. it sounds really petty. also, i cant help feeling that aside from being in love with me, i was kind of like a trophey to her, because a few girls from where she lives fancy me, and she was just like 'nah, he's mine' kind of thing :/ shes even on two occasions hit me, she was very drunk but still i dont see that as an excuse, she promised never to do it again and hasnt, but the fact she did it still haunts me! maybe shes capable of anything? ive told her this and she says that if i still think that of her then she doesnt even want to be with me, but i cant help but feel scared of what shes capable of if pushed enough!
although it werent all good, we did have some amazing times! we really do love eachother, but as much as i love her and hate seeing her heart broken, i dont know if i should go back? i keep thinking that maybe just maybe it could change, yet again, if it would it would have been before all this time :/ shes phoning me, emailing me and is so upset and i hate that! shes sooo adamant shes changed and that we can be different, and for a while we was, but we somehow end up down that rut! and its been a 2 year process nye on, if it was going to change it would by now dont you think?1
i dont know, i guess im just searching for the 'ok' to finish it, i know shes wrong for me but theres a small part of me thats saying maybe it can work! i know its wrong to go back out of guilt, but i do think i am attatched tp her, but on the other hand the thought of spending the rest of my life with her, that makes me feel insecue :/ the thought of her being with someone really hurts me, but i cant help but think that if we were to give it another try that more bad than good would come. its a really sticky situation :/
i havnt exactly been a walk in the park, but maybe its because deep down i dont want it and am reacting to it badly by staying with her not to upset her? i cant explain it any better, but i really dont know if i should give it yet another go with her? i cant BARE to hurt huer or think of her hurting, she's not exactly happy living with her mother and doesnt get along with her very well, im kind of her 'rock' but i guess ive got to think of number one? i feel genuinly stuck! its so confusing, how can two people who love eachother like us just not get along? im stuck
