What should I so here?

[mechdad]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

I am in the middle of a custody battle with my ex over our son who is 8. Currently, we have Joint legal/physical with mom having primary. CS is ordered and current with mom providing insurance and receiving an additional credit on CS for my portion of the cost. His mother started taking him to therapy and kept it a big secret so that she could "coach" our son to say horrible things about me and my home in order to get my visitation restricted. It all came out eventually during the custody conferences and after our son began to trust his therapist the truth all came out including that mom told him to say things and some things at mom's home he has been told to keep secret. This of course resulted in therapist having unfavorable recommendations toward mom so mom doesn't want him to see the therapist anymore. The GAL has indicated that therapy should continue with current therapist. Mom tied to go see another therapist but once she learned the details of custody case and GAL recommendations she told mom she could not have child as client anymore. The problem is this I have continued to take our son to therapy on my time but when the therapist submitted the claims to the insurance they were denied and he received a single text from mom stating insurance had changed and that was it no new numbers nothing. She is supposed to be providing me all insurance info per the CS order but she ignores my request for the info. I do have an attorney for the custody case but mom is constantly playing games and I have to call him weekly to get involved and I'm trying to do this without him since every time I call it costs more money. What can I do myself to try and get this resolved or should I just chalk it up and talk to my attorney about it? I can't afford the full price for the therapist and I shouldn't have to pay full price either considering he has insurance and I help pay for it?

 

[BL]

File contempt through the court and ask that Mom pay your attorney fees .

Cite every instance of contempt.

 

[mechdad]

Can I file a contempt for the insurance separate from the custody? We (my attorney and I) are saving all the contemps of the custody order for the final custody trial at the end of July. Also can I do this myself since child support and custody are completely separate?

 

[BL]

Can I file a contempt for the insurance separate from the custody? We (my attorney and I) are saving all the contemps of the custody order for the final custody trial at the end of July. Also can I do this myself since child support and custody are completely separate?

Yes , you can file if they are separate.

Answer the questions though, as it matters.

 

[mechdad]

Sorry not trying to be an idiot but which questions do u need answered. Happy to answer any. Yes in Pa child support and custody are completely separate orders but they can reflect on one another with a credit for certain number of nights spent at NCP home and daycare costs. I've never used an attorney for the child support because paying was not an issue and in Pa its pretty cut and dry calculation so its near impossible for it not to be fair. The only issue with my current CS i have is the paid daycare because I can offer a sitter (stepmom and sometimes myself) for free but was told had to get that put in the custody order before the CS office would drop it off. That will all be part of the custody trial so for now it is what it is.

 

[BL]

Sorry not trying to be an idiot but which questions do u need answered. Happy to answer any. Yes in Pa child support and custody are completely separate orders but they can reflect on one another with a credit for certain number of nights spent at NCP home and daycare costs. I've never used an attorney for the child support because paying was not an issue and in Pa its pretty cut and dry calculation so its near impossible for it not to be fair. The only issue with my current CS i have is the paid daycare because I can offer a sitter (stepmom and sometimes myself) for free but was told had to get that put in the custody order before the CS office would drop it off. That will all be part of the custody trial so for now it is what it is.

I got your post confused with another one.

Since you have other issues , I'd wait until you get a custody order in place ,then file a modification.

In the meantime send a letter RRR Certified to mom with a copy of order ,and state she is in violation and if she doesn't provide info. Immediately as required ,it will be brought up in court .

I know it's a wait if she does not , but no sense in filing twice

 

[mechdad]

Thanks I might also give a call to the Domestic Relations Office to see if they can put any pressure on her. She tends not to care and just do what she wants. I've talked to the therapist and he's ok with me continuing to just make the co-pays until this gets straightened out then he'll submit all the claims at once as soon as we get the info. He's dealt with mom plenty in the course of all this so he understands and he knows our son needs therapy given everything that's going on.

 

[BL]

Thanks I might also give a call to the Domestic Relations Office to see if they can put any pressure on her. She tends not to care and just do what she wants. I've talked to the therapist and he's ok with me continuing to just make the co-pays until this gets straightened out then he'll submit all the claims at once as soon as we get the info. He's dealt with mom plenty in the course of all this so he understands and he knows our son needs therapy given everything that's going on.

Sounds good....

Hang in there .. Sometimes the wheels turn slower than we want them too.

 

[mechdad]

Don't I know it. Its frustrating as heck. Every second of time I have with our son was court ordered and she's always trying to find ways around that too. Even if she doesn't believe in court orders I want to make sure I do everything right in the long run I feel like this will allow for the best possible result for our son. Thankfully I have a very supportive wife and extended family even have some major support from mom's family.

 

[mechdad]

Just wanted to give an update for anyone who might be in a similar situation. I talked to Domestic Relations in our county and they told me they can't do anything because the ex is the plaintiff in the child support action. Although it seems a little unfair to me that they can help her if I don't follow the order but they can't help me if she doesn't that's the way it is. They said my only recourse if she continues to deny the info is to file for contempt in court and the court will then do as they see fit to try and make her follow the order. So I have now involved my attorney. Just another thing to cost me some money.

 

[Zigner]

Just wanted to give an update for anyone who might be in a similar situation. I talked to Domestic Relations in our county and they told me they can't do anything because the ex is the plaintiff in the child support action. Although it seems a little unfair to me that they can help her if I don't follow the order but they can't help me if she doesn't that's the way it is. They said my only recourse if she continues to deny the info is to file for contempt in court and the court will then do as they see fit to try and make her follow the order. So I have now involved my attorney. Just another thing to cost me some money.

As mentioned previously, your attorney should request that the mother pay the added costs due to her contempt.

 

[mechdad]

Thanks my attorney did mention he wanted to add that in. I do appreciate all the advise given.

 

[CSO286]

Just wanted to give an update for anyone who might be in a similar situation. I talked to Domestic Relations in our county and they told me they can't do anything because the ex is the plaintiff in the child support action. Although it seems a little unfair to me that they can help her if I don't follow the order but they can't help me if she doesn't that's the way it is. They said my only recourse if she continues to deny the info is to file for contempt in court and the court will then do as they see fit to try and make her follow the order. So I have now involved my attorney. Just another thing to cost me some money.

This doens't make any sense to me, and child support is my job...The CSED's job is not to represent one party or the other--it's to obtain and enforce a fair order.
At the end of the day, I like to say that if I've made both sides equally miserable, then I've done my job.

Perhaps you can try climbing up the food chain at the agency???

Barring that, file for contempt and request Mom foot he bill for your filing fees and costs....

 

[mechdad]

Didn't make a lot of sense to me either but that's what I was told that they could not make any calls or send anything on my behalf because I was the defendant. I could only file for contempt of the order in court and the judge could make a ruling.

 

[darkmidnightsun]

Just wanted to give an update for anyone who might be in a similar situation. I talked to Domestic Relations in our county and they told me they can't do anything because the ex is the plaintiff in the child support action. Although it seems a little unfair to me that they can help her if I don't follow the order but they can't help me if she doesn't that's the way it is. They said my only recourse if she continues to deny the info is to file for contempt in court and the court will then do as they see fit to try and make her follow the order. So I have now involved my attorney. Just another thing to cost me some money.

From personal experience with DR in PA ... I believe, like you, it is BS but it is true. I had a CS case before my ex was incarcerated and I closed it. He decided to get revenge and tried to have them file contempt. His reason was because I wasn't spending the money 'on' our daughter - I paid part of rent, utilities, and gas for appointments along with clothing and food. Apparently I was to buy her all toys ...

Anyway, they told him that they couldn't do it and he had to go through the court.

Actually, it is quite easy to do ... just go to the administrative office and tell them you need to file contempt. They gave me the papers, I filled them out and I was done until the hearing. It only cost me $5 to file in my county (visitation related), and I'm sure it's not much different in yours.

Best of luck to you!