What to do (visitation)

[codedpres]

What is the name of your state? Florida
I have a 5 year old daughter. Her mother and I are not together, never married. I was paying child support but the case is being closed. I never had visitation taken from me nor has any been set through the courts. Basically I was getting our daughter every weekend until today when her mother got mad for who knows what and says that I can only have her every other weekend now. The mother has done this many other times. She will let me have her for a while until her mood swings change then I can't have her. I am trying to find out what to do about this because it's really hard to get to consistency with all this. I also want to know what I would have to do about getting custody. I am a male so 9 out of 10 times I will lose but I am willing to try what ever it takes to end this. She has an abusive boyfriend that is in and out of the house and has beat her in front of our daughter. Please help me....

 

[FJ1200guy]

Pardon my questions, but I'm one of the slower folks around here...

So... is there a custody order or not? I just didn't quite get that "case closed" part after you said,"I never had visitation taken from me nor has any been set through the courts."

If there is no court order or anything, go file for visitation. Getting custody after 5 years is pretty unlikely, in my opinion... and a waste of your time and money. It goes without saying that you should get a lawyer.

Also, if you have been paying "child support" without any court orders.... you really haven't been paying child support. You've just been giving away money.

More info will be forthcoming, I'm sure, watch this thread!

 

[nextwife]

Actually, if he can document that the pattern of time with the child previously has been the equivilant of Jt. physical custody, filing to continue this pattern may not be seen by the court as a "change" in custody. The courts like continuity of what the child was used to, if not detrimental to the child's well being. He should file for Jt Custody, if that's what they'd been doing.

"I was paying child support but the case is being closed."

I don't understand that part either.

 

[FJ1200guy]

Oh yeah, I didn't mean he couldn't get the same visitation he has (every weekend). My apologies for not being clear. I was thinking like a 50/50 joint physical, or more is unlikely. The every weekend thing is worth a shot.

 

[codedpres]

The part about the child support case being closed:
I have been paying court ordered (left that part out) support for 3 years or more and she, in one of the up times, petitioned for it to be removed from the courts. So in the courts eyes it will be closed.
As for the custody order nothing as far as custody was ever decided by the courts. It's been sort of a mutual agreement between the two of us. From March till June our daughter lived with me during the week and went home with her mom on the weekends so she could finish Pre-K in the same school with out being disrupted in the middle of the school year. I also had her for the summer during the day and some weekends. She is now saying that I have her too much. One of the reasons for the
every weekend visits is that she has been taking ballet for over two years and the classes are on the weekends. I also want to add that over this time my family and I have developed a close relationship with our daughter and I am just tired of the attempts to interfere with it.

 

[VeronicaGia]

Then you need to file for court ordered visitation and your best bet is to keep support going through the courts, or she could come back and say you were not paying her. Anything you give her in the form of checks will be considered a gift.

Your best bet is to seek the advice of an attorney.