What to expect now

[SnS76]

What is the name of your state? NH

I finally received a date to go to court for court-ordered child support .. it is set for the beginning of Oct. I spoke with someone down at the courthouse and they told me on the day we have to be there, we will be seeing a marital magistrate, I believe she said. I was also told there would be no mediation. The way she described it though, it sounded just like that .. although maybe it's not formally called mediation.
Anyway, my question now is .. what happens now ? .. While I'm happy to finally get a date and to see this proceeding, now im a little nervous not knowing what exactly to expect.

Could someone give me some advice on what might/will happen ? Not for my specific case, but in general what usually goes on during these things ..
She did tell me if we came to an agreement that day, that it could be settled with just this/ But again, I'm unsure of what to expect. I was thinking someone who has already been thru this could give me a better idea.

Thanks for any help

 

[haiku]

If all NH court houses are the same...you will go before the judge, and each of you will provide your evidence, financials etc....

If all is in agreement, the judge will hand down his decision then, based on the paperwork, or come back at a later date with a judgement after he has reviwed it further.

If an agreement can't be met, then you may end up in mediation, though for child support, it should be pretty cut and dry based on the financials.

 

[SnS76]

hey haiku

So between now and then I should be getting all my stuff together to bring with me ? Or to give to the lawyer ? .. Do you know if we actually go into a courtroom for this ? Or will this be an informal sit down type of meeting ? The woman I spoke to down at the courthouse confused me a bit when she said it would be before a marital person ..and when I asked if that was like a magistrate, she said yes. So that is what got me to thinking it wouldn't be in front of the judge to begin with .. or maybe I'm just confused on what exactly a magistrate is ..lol

I just want to be prepared for this .. and will be grilling my attorney tomorow also when she gets back from vacation ..

 

[haiku]

I recommend grilling your attorney, thats what you pay them the big bucks for! LOL

All I can tell you is for a child support 3 year mod, it went exactly as I described, it was in a courtroom before the family judge(the term magistrate has never come up for us..). Your lawyer should have all your financials and things for you to fill out, and shoudl tell you what you are going to need.

 

[SnS76]

And yet another twist to this whole story ..
the dad got the papers and promptly freaked out and called my attorney, claiming he didn't know what he was going to do about 'all this' .. went on to tell her that he was recently put on short term disability at work .. and NOW, even though his daughter will be ten next month, is saying that he's not even sure she is his and will probably require a paternity test on her .. not my son, only her.

This is something that came out very unexpectedly .. now I really don't know what to expect ..

What happens now with him trying to contest ? paternity ? His name is on both birth certificates that he signed .. they both have his last name ..
Is this something he is 'allowed' to do after ten years of never saying a word about it ?
I have absolutely no problem with her getting tested .. I know who her dad is, and I believe he knows as well .. I can't see this as anything more than a stall tactic, but it's hard for me to keep my personal feelings now out of this .. it would devastate my daughter if she knew .. which she won't, if I have anything to do with it ..

but .. now what ?

 

[SnS76]

Sorry about that .. Yes, the daughter IS his .. we weren't married but we were together for almost 15 years ..
My daughter will be ten next month and we also have an almost 12 yr old son together ..
At the time she was conceived we were living together and there were never any questions about who her dad was/is .. til now.

 

[SnS76]

Thanks for the advice .. I will definitely look into that
It would be in the state they were born in, right ?

I have come across some of your posts and have to say, it's things like what are going on with you that make it so hard for us sometimes .. there is probably always a question because people like your ex can and will be so dishonest about things that should never be ..
I'm sorry also that you're having to deal with what you are ..

Bleh .. I have to think at this point that it will work out on it's own .. if there is some way he can insist on this test and he then has the truth in front of his face, plus a pretty big bill for the test .. well, they say karma is a b*tch ..

 

[SnS76]

Just a quick update before I head off for work ..

I just got off the phone with Ma's DOR/CSE customer service .. I gave the woman I spoke to a little background and explained now what was happening
I asked her about an AOP and she said that by him signing the birth certificate that WAS the AOP .. and now, with him questioniing it, it wold be up to the judge whether or not to grant a dna test and that when/if it came back positive, it would be up to dad to pay for it ..

But that with him signing both their birth certificates and it being so many years that he has acknowledged being their father, this new saying that he's not, 'might not fly' ..

this is going to hold it all up though now regardless, isn't it ?

thanks for the advice Cali, it was very helpful ..