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What will happen in the court room?

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h0rsepwr

Guest
What is the name of your state? Illinois

My daughter's mom supposedly filed papers with the state regarding supprt and custody, mainly because I am moving to Missouri shortly. I want to go for full custody of our daughter, but know how hard it is for a father here to get it, especially since I am moving. (I feel I can win though considering the massive amount of "bad parenting" proof I have) If I were to try to get "temporary permanent" custody until the mom gets her act together (she still lives with her parents, and other stuff) within a said time frame, and then see if a joint custody agreement can be worked out, would that help me? I know kids need both parents and I'm not trying to take our daughter away from her, but I do feel she would be way better off living with me. When we go to court, how do I address this or bring this up? Don't tell me to get a lawyer, I can't afford one. Thanks.
 


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pthalo

Guest
I too am moving...

The moving thing probably won't look too good.. I am moving to Illinois in 3 weeks from Vermont ( I know the distance is farther but its the same idea).. It would be impossible for me to get full custody b/c of this move, otherwise it would be what I would fight for... B/C you are the one moving it is not the mom's responsibility to make sure that you have contact, its yours.. Now if you have "hard" evidence that mom is putting the children in harm's way, you might have a better case and a leg to stand on.. If they are simply accusations with no proof, then good luck getting a judge to listen.. You may not be trying to take your child away from mom, but by moving to another state, you would be doing just that....
 
H

h0rsepwr

Guest
I do want to have contact. I mean, my daughter is my life, she means the world to me. I just don't want to be in court for a long period of time, I just want to get it all settled and straightened out before I move. I'm trying to make up some kind of schedule so we can both still see our daughter an equal amount of time like we have it now. It's hard to come up with ideas. I don't want to make this hard on our child at all. I was thinking like 3 weeks here, 3 weeks down there with me. (she's only 3 and not in school yet). BUt that might be too much for a kid. Any ideas on something reasonable to ask for for when I go to court? Thank you.
 
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pthalo

Guest
If mom is going to fight it, then don't count on this being a short, cut-and-dry case... This is going to take awhile.. Go to deltabravo.net and look up the long-distance/interstate custody plan in the articles archive for a good starting point..

Good Luck
 
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h0rsepwr

Guest
Do judges generally prefer if the parents (or at lest one of them) has one of those parenting plans written up as a proposal for the situation?
 
P

pthalo

Guest
court is usually step two....

before you go to court most states will have mediation.. This is to alleviate some of the load on the courts and to try to prevent all cases from having to go through the stresses and pressures of a court battle..

I would definitely, without hesitation take a parenting plan to mediation.. It shows interest. It shows concern.. It shows a willingness to cooperate and to put forth the effort needed to be a good parent....

In court usually a parenting plan won't hold as much weight b/c after mediation those points that are agreed upon should be put into an order and those points that are disagreed upon in mediation are what the judge is there to decide... A parenting plan would still be good to have for personal reference and to keep yourself on track while in court...
 
H

h0rsepwr

Guest
Gotcha, that's basically what I was thinking. Man, is there any way these ordeals could be simplified? Damn, it takes so much out of everyone and in my case, my little girl has no clue as to what is going to happen and how her life is going to change.
 

tammy8

Senior Member
It took DH almost 3 yrs to even see a judge! Especailly if bm fights it. All she has to do is change attorneys and guarentee another 6 monthes (ours changed 3X). I hate it so much for you as I am one of the biggest Daddy advocates but if you want anything besides EOW/EOH I would advise staying where you are. I image that is not possible and wishing you the bestest of luck.
 

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