• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

What would you do if this was your child?

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

P

proud2bdad

Guest
What is the name of your state? TN but GA holds jurisdiction at this time. I have filed for jurisdiction in TN.

I am desperate need of help please. I am CP. I refused my x visitation b/c she wouldn't provide her home address or child care providers, X lied & said that wasn't true I had to produce the info judge didn't care, after court w/exchange of dd X gave me her new address & a day later her new #. The judge basically screwed me. I had to turn over dd to her Bm for 3 mo, which is in decree, but she voluntarily gave up her visit by not giving the info. We told the judge of past physical, mental, & emotional abuse, that Bm was diagnosed Bi-polar & doesn't take meds, & she has refused her SB visit, refused to let me talk to dd in past, & refuses to co-parent. The judge told us to get along that was it. I found out BM lives w/2 men in 2 bd apt, judge didn't care. BM dropped dd off at her parents 5 hrs from her to stay a week after the judge told her to take her to her house.

I called dd Wed. She was saying to my wife & I that I should be there, the house is too crowded w/ppl, bad ppl, that she was born to protect us, no one could steal us or take us away from her b/c we were her Dad & Mom (she calls her s-mom) & she loved her M & D. This was crazy coming from a 4 yr old childs mouth. I told her b/f she left since she was scared & begging not to go that if she was in danger to let me know in her own way & I'd handle it. I think she has done this. I called her Ped. & he said this was not normal & kids can't make up this kind of things, but since she was not there he couldn't give a diagnosis. I have been trying to contact my atty in GA for 3 days, & he refuses to call me back. I called family services. They told me if I didn't want to wait, to contact my atty. Since no one wants a long post, I really can't give you the history you need to understand my case. I need help. I need to know what to do. Could my dd be in danger? What do I do to protect her?
 
Last edited:


JaneyS4

Member
I think only you can accurately judge if your daughter is in danger or not. Depending on the severity of the mental illness, the meds may or may not make a difference. Bi-polar is way too broad a term nowdays. It can mean anything from just a little moody, to downright crazy.

My suggestion would be to talk carefully with your daugher when she returns. If you feel there is enough to warrent checking into, call your attorney again. You can check with this womans neighbors, and other people who might come into contact with her to find out what might be going on. YOu can also find out the names of the people living with her and run checks on them for criminal backgrounds and such. If the situation is bad enough to warrent a change, ask your attorney to file for modification of visitation. Just be sure to get the facts first. Judges don't care to make rulings on speculation.
 

haiku

Senior Member
seems to me lately people need to read the fine print pertaining to the rules of this forum.

and as far as getting real answers to a question, I find it real disheartening here, that some regulars will hijack a thread for thier own fueds, cluttering up the original question so badly that no PROFESSIONAL will even bother dealing with the original question.

All these philosophical bulls@#$ threads, bashing people on thier morals, not the legalities, it is getting tiring.... and not worth the effort to wade through. That is not fair to the people who come here thinking they can find someone ot point them in the right direction, whether we agree with thier motive or not.

Its OK to get caught up in an arguement occasionally (guilty) but this forum is rapidly self ditructing as being a place where you can find trustworthy information.....

An ignore button would be very helpful in some instances...
 

JaneyS4

Member
I agree

And I do sincerely apologize for my part in the trashing of this thread. I am old enough to know better. I really do try to give people advise based on my research and opinions but its very hard not to respond when someone baits you with suggestions that you are less than moral. I am really tired of it and would gladly not respond to those who have made it obvious they don't care for me if they would just let me alone. Just because someone gives a differing opinion than you doesn't give you any reason to trash them personally. Giving an opinion is fine, but it crosses the line when you get completely personal about it, especially considering that none of us actually know each other.

Edited to add:: I'd give my eye-teeth for an ignore button!
 
P

proud2bdad

Guest
Thanks

Thank you for coming & posting to my post. First & foremost, I am new here, but Janey was only trying to help me. Does it really matter if Janey has children or not with giving advice? There are MANY Family law attorneys that do not have children. Are you trying to say their opinions don't count either? Why the need to knock Janey?

Janey I appreciate your post. I respect your opinion. I make my own opinions, I don't listen to other ppl like that. It made reasonable sense & I too have gotten the same advice from other parents on other boards.

However, I did not get into trouble for not sending my dd b/c I thought she would be in danger. Mind you I was married to this woman, so I KNOW how severe her bi-polar is. I do not have anything against anyone with this illness. I have done research on it, but I think when my ex-wife can not remember her own medicine & doesn't even know the days of the week, that is of big concern. My dd has 2 serious illnesses that require her mediciation, if not then she could have a serious relapse & we could lose her forever. Her medical conditions are of concern for me. My X can not be trusted. I did have proof that she had 2 men living with her. I NEVER go without having proof first. By the way, she is the one that got into trouble at the hearing for not giving the information. Even the judge says she wouldn't have sent her child if anyone wouldn't give out that type information. I couldn't get into the courts & did try to call an ER hearing, but my state & GA both told me that neither held jurisdiction & couldn't hear the case. God's honest truth. My Atty in GA & TN both tried filing ER Hearings & that was the response we got.

Pthalo I think you gave poor advice. You just told me to send my child to this controlling woman that absolutely refused to give me her address or phone number & refused child care info for 3 months? I live 14 hrs from her. She has lied to me about everything since our divorce, I could write a book on just the lies this woman tells us. Do you realize she is in 13 accounts of contempt. This is giving her a chance to kidnap my dd as she has tried b/f. That is just my personal opinion. You told me not to keep my dd safe. For all I know my X could have the mob stored up in her home. That is the kind of person she is. Didn't you read that she got kicked out of her own parents home for bringing strange ppl in the home she'd only known for an hr at a club while my dd was there to spend the night? Thank God the Gparents were there to protect her. I was only protecting my dd as the US President told us all to do after 9/11. You might as well of told me to just hand my dd over to a complete strange deranged person, in mpho.
 

JaneyS4

Member
Proud2bdad,

Sounds like the first thing you need to do is get jurisdiction straightened out. Did you say that the custody order was issued in GA? If thats so, you need to go through your paper work and see if anything says that GA released jurisdiction. They can do that, but usually don't unless its requested, and often don't do it then. If its still in GA then maybe your attorney should bring that up to someone. It could just be a paperwork mistake.

It sounds to me like you really need to have a visitation modification. I think (My opinion only) you should repost a new message asking if anyone on this board has had similar jurisdiction problems. Maybe someone can help you figure out who to contact to find out just where you should go to court.

(and I DO have children. Two as a matter of fact. Pt just doesn't like me and tries to distort who I am to others. No biggie. Haiku reminded me how silly it was to get all upset. I really am sorry I lost my cool in your thread.:) )
 
P

proud2bdad

Guest
Thank

you Janey. I admire your advice. Please do not feel the need to explain to me. I don't judge ppl by what others say. Believe me I understand completely, you are only trying to defend yourself. No problem:cool:

I have filed for jurisdiction in TN. That is not the problem. I know I can do it, b/c dd has been here with me since 11/1999, so she has been a legal resident here for right at 3 years. The problem is getting her served. She is dodging them b/c she knows TN doesn't play. She is also $1, 000 behind in CS after I just received her IRS checks from being 24 mo in arrears. She lied in court & said that the state was holding it up. I went to CSE here to get her arrearages & check to see if she really had CS held up in court b/c it was interstate as she claimed. The case worker fell out in the floor laughing. She said every deadbeat parent uses that especially if they are facing contempt & in her case the 3 time it was brought up in court. She was only trying to save her rearend. Anyway, simply she is running, b/c she knows TN will throw the book at her I was told from my atty & CSE.

My question originally was what do I do if I thought my dd was in danger. Who do I go to since I have already called my atty thousands of times in the past week with no return calls & I have called family services? I appreciate your opinion, & again no need to apologize. I know your a great person;)
 

JaneyS4

Member
My question originally was what do I do if I thought my dd was in danger. Who do I go to since I have already called my atty thousands of times in the past week with no return calls & I have called family services?

Hmmm, well, I suggested to someone else on here that they file for an emergency ex parte hearing, but you just said they wouldn't let you. Ex parte would cut out the worry over notifying her and emergency would cut the visitation out until the court hearing. But if you can't do that, I don't know.
 

JaneyS4

Member
Just a thought, they let you file for custody in TN but wouldn't take the emergency hearing? How can they have jurisdiction over one and not the other? That makes no sense.
 

CMSC

Senior Member
haiku said:
seems to me lately people need to read the fine print pertaining to the rules of this forum.

and as far as getting real answers to a question, I find it real disheartening here, that some regulars will hijack a thread for thier own fueds, cluttering up the original question so badly that no PROFESSIONAL will even bother dealing with the original question.

All these philosophical bulls@#$ threads, bashing people on thier morals, not the legalities, it is getting tiring.... and not worth the effort to wade through. That is not fair to the people who come here thinking they can find someone ot point them in the right direction, whether we agree with thier motive or not.

Its OK to get caught up in an arguement occasionally (guilty) but this forum is rapidly self ditructing as being a place where you can find trustworthy information.....

An ignore button would be very helpful in some instances...
haiku you are absolutely right. I have deleted my post on here because it was uncalled for and in no way helping the poster. I have been a contributor at times to making haste on the forum BUT I to think it is getting out of hand.

Whether or not people agree with me is not important. I do however feel that when a friend is attacked or I am attacked that I have the right to defend myself.

As far as the fine print rules of this forum and the way others conduct themselves I think Janey has spoken to admin. about it haven't you?
 

JaneyS4

Member
As far as the fine print rules of this forum and the way others conduct themselves I think Janey has spoken to admin. about it haven't you?

Shhhhhhh!!! Thats a secret ;) Yes, I did send them an email about one post I found particularly offending. Haven't gotten a reply. They may or may not do anything. The post itself didn't have outright vulgarness to it but the suggestion was sure there. Course I may get in trouble too, for allowing myself to be drawn into it. I'll let you know when I hear something.
 

CMSC

Senior Member
sorry janey, me and my big mouth!;) actually you are not the only one with complaints into admin. I think they have more than they can handle at times.
 

ellencee

Senior Member
proud2bdad
From a 'legal' standpoint, I believe what you are going to be up against in this current situation, is that you are going to appear to be trying to overrule, or side-step the judge's order that you hand over the child for 3 months. You will have a hard time getting a court to intervene until you have satisifed the contempt ruling--which having you turn the child over was--a finding that you did not follow the order and the judge imposed a makeup time of 3 months for the child with the mother. Until these 3 months are over, I don't think you will have any success in court, not even in moving jurisdiction.

Once this 3 month period is over and the child is back with you, then you start building a case for not sending the child for 3 months--for one thing, that interferes with the beginning or the end of the school term, or with both. You may succeed in getting shorter time periods of visitation, but I think that's about all you're going to get. I don't see anything in your posts to indicate that the child should never see her mother or her mother's parents. Jurisdiction will be more easily transferred to the county where the child resides primarily.

It falls to you to make sure your daughter knows the difference between real danger and people that daddy wouldn't like hanging around. It may come back to haunt you in the form of daddy is the one scaring the child, not mom's visitors or housemates.

It is difficult to share a child with someone with whom you would prefer to never see again. But--it's not your feelings that matter here--it's the child's feelings and the child's need to have both parents and the love of both parents and the right to love both parents, warts and all.

You can make everyone's life a living hell and keep this in court, and thereby exert control over the mother, or you can focus on the best interests of the child and work towards an arrangement that best benefits the child's ability to have both parents, whether or not your like the type of persons mom does. As long as there is no violence, no sexual abuse of your daughter, or other serious issues such as those, a few people you don't like won't hurt your daughter.

Tennessee is not that far from GA and if I had to drive from Memphis, TN to Woodbine, GA, I'd make the drive or the flight if I thought my child was in real danger. In the meantime, I'd be thankful that grandparents are available to keep my child away from the mother's home.

I'd be smart enought to wait for the dust to settle after being ordered to allow visitation for 3 months, too.
 
Last edited:

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top