What’s likely to happen if.....

[HRZ]

She gets to decide about visitations when she turns 18 or enlists in military service ...and not before . OP you are wrong .

 

[commentator]

Quote: "I have said and put on the record that she is not seeing him again until......"

What record are you referring to? There is nothing official about this decision you've made, that's what everyone here is trying to tell you. You simply do not have the authority to change your own court order.

In fact, suggestion three here, 3. We go to court and do what the judge orders. If he gets another chance and fails (which he will!!) At which point does the Judge say, that’s enough" is by far the only rational reasonable alternative. And in the meantime, keep offering the father his appropriate visitation.

You stand the very real risk of going back to court to get orders changed, telling the judge what you've done in order to make things the way you thought they ought to be, and having him change things in a way you will not like, simply because of your overstepping and your unwillingness to follow the whole court ordered thing. You have to be shown as the less objectionable parenting choice, and if your ex is as big a boor as you indicate, it's a high bar he's setting, but if you do too much of this controlling and overstepping, you're liable to cross it. How much will the judge "make me put up with?" Depends. And all her crying and hysteria will amount to NOTHING in court, like your recordings and notes and demands and decisions without their input.

 

[stealth2]

What record are you referring to?

I suspect OP is referring to OFW, as she posted about yesterday. It does occur to me that the judge may not be amused that she didn't bother until now to input information. Especially if OFW was court-ordered.

 

[LdiJ]

I am going to suggest that you put your daughter into counseling. If there is something specific that is causing her angst, that will come out in counseling and then the therapist can help your daughter with that. That is really the best thing that you can do for her at this point.

A judge is not going to take away dad's parenting time, no matter how much of a pita he is about it. However, if the therapist thinks it a good idea, the judge just might order dad to attend counseling with the child.

 

[Eekamouse]

I am going to suggest that you put your daughter into counseling. If there is something specific that is causing her angst, that will come out in counseling and then the therapist can help your daughter with that. That is really the best thing that you can do for her at this point.

A judge is not going to take away dad's parenting time, no matter how much of a pita he is about it. However, if the therapist thinks it a good idea, the judge just might order dad to attend counseling with the child.

The child is 5 1/2. The mother is allowing the child to control things by giving in to her tantrums. And I can't help but think the child's fits are a result of mom's own feelings towards the dad and less that the child having a problem with dad.
From what the OP said, this sounds more like mom being unhappy that the dad is not doing and acting the way mom wants him to act. OP chose this man to have children with. She is trying to control him thru the child, which is total b.s. and she needs to knock it off. I imagine dad would see his child more if mom would just back the hell off of his relationship with the child.

 

[LdiJ]

The child is 5 1/2. The mother is allowing the child to control things by giving in to her tantrums. And I can't help but think the child's fits are a result of mom's own feelings towards the dad and less that the child having a problem with dad.
From what the OP said, this sounds more like mom being unhappy that the dad is not doing and acting the way mom wants him to act. OP chose this man to have children with. She is trying to control him thru the child, which is total b.s. and she needs to knock it off. I imagine dad would see his child more if mom would just back the hell off of his relationship with the child.

And none of that makes counseling any less valuable.

 

[Eekamouse]

And none of that makes counseling any less valuable.

You're right, it doesn't, but I wasn't saying counseling isn't required. Additionally, I think the mother would benefit just as much as the dad would from a few parenting classes. She's either letting her child run the show or she's manipulating the child to act the way she's acting.

 

[Just Blue]

And none of that makes counseling any less valuable.

It makes counseling less helpful when the mother is creating the childs anger/angst. This is a situation that will likely be solved with a change of primary custody. That would be in the childs best interest.

 

[LdiJ]

You're right, it doesn't, but I wasn't saying counseling isn't required. Additionally, I think the mother would benefit just as much as the dad would from a few parenting classes. She's either letting her child run the show or she's manipulating the child to act the way she's acting.

Or, while less like likely, dad actually doesn't care much about the child and the child is picking up on that.