When can a child choose?

[Nikki74]

What is the name of your state? Missouri

My Step-daughter is 14 and lives about 30 minutes away with her mom and step-dad. A couple months ago she asked us if she could stay with us this summer and we asked her mom and told her to think about it and let us know. We haven't heard anything and are planning on asking her soon if she made a decision. We expect she will say no. Within the last few weeks my step-daughter has said she wants to live with us permanently. She had been considering this for a while but it would mean a different school. Also, my step-daughter will spending her days this summer with an Aunt on her step-dads side who will be watching her and the other two children. If she is here with us she will always have either me or her dad around. I thought that would be a good reason for her to stay with us this summer, besides the fact that she would like to because as she says, "It's dads turn".

Does anyone know the law on children deciding in Missouri?

Do we have to get an attorney for her to come live with us if she is old enough to decide? Are they forms I can download?

Thanks!

 

[NMJustice]

My Step-daughter is 14 and lives about 30 minutes away with her mom and step-dad. A couple months ago she asked us if she could stay with us this summer and we asked her mom and told her to think about it and let us know. We haven't heard anything and are planning on asking her soon if she made a decision. We expect she will say no. Within the last few weeks my step-daughter has said she wants to live with us permanently. She had been considering this for a while but it would mean a different school. Also, my step-daughter will spending her days this summer with an Aunt on her step-dads side who will be watching her and the other two children. If she is here with us she will always have either me or her dad around. I thought that would be a good reason for her to stay with us this summer, besides the fact that she would like to because as she says, "It's dads turn".

I dont know the laws in Missouri, but if you would like my opinion maybe it would help some.

Is there a reason other than that she just wants to stay with you and dad. Is she having problems with her mother, because if that is whats is going on they you may be asking for trouble by telling her that it is ok if she wants to stay with you and dad. If she is sincere about wanting the live with you guys then you have to go to court and have the custody changed. If mom isnt easy to deal with then it wont be easy! Attorney fees are expensive and they do add up. Me and my husband a currently in debt about 40K due to attorney fees. My advice if she is having problems with her mom leave it alone, but if she wants to just because she really feels like its dads turn then meet with an attorney. I hope that helps.

 

[howamidoing]

What is the name of your state? Missouri

My Step-daughter is 14 and lives about 30 minutes away with her mom and step-dad. A couple months ago she asked us if she could stay with us this summer and we asked her mom and told her to think about it and let us know. We haven't heard anything and are planning on asking her soon if she made a decision. We expect she will say no. Within the last few weeks my step-daughter has said she wants to live with us permanently. She had been considering this for a while but it would mean a different school. Also, my step-daughter will spending her days this summer with an Aunt on her step-dads side who will be watching her and the other two children. If she is here with us she will always have either me or her dad around. I thought that would be a good reason for her to stay with us this summer, besides the fact that she would like to because as she says, "It's dads turn".

Does anyone know the law on children deciding in Missouri?

Do we have to get an attorney for her to come live with us if she is old enough to decide? Are they forms I can download?

Thanks!

Children do not get to decide. The Judge may listen to there request, but the Judge decides. Not the child. The Judge will look at a lot of different things. What is best for the child is what the Judge will do. Judges are wise to children who want to live with a parent simply because they get their way at that particular house. Judges know that children can be bought easliy and cheaply.

 

[Nikki74]

Well, we don't plan on spending any money on an attorney, if this can't be done the easy way it won't be done at all unless she was being abused. I think she feels like she has a better relationship with me and her dad then she does with her mom and her step-dad. We don't allow her to break the rules or do whatever she wants and neither does her mom. Her mom seems to always take the step-dads side even when she doesn't agree and there are two younger siblings in her moms home that get treated better since their dad is in the home. Over the years all of this has built up and I think she is finally seeing it now. We have always tried our best to treat all kids as equal as possible. She has three younger siblings here. One thing she says is that her mom makes a big deal about anything and everything she does, for example: her best friends grandfather used to be known as a pot smoker so her mom assumes it runs in the family. That's just what my step-daughter says and we do take almost everything she says with a grain of salt because she has tried to work us against each other. Anyway, I thought I look into it and see what our chances are. Thanks!

 

[stealth2]

Kids don't choose. The only way it's going to happen if Mom doesn't agree is by taking it to court. And even then, the chances are slim to none unless there is a compelling reason. "Mom favors my half-sisters" isn't going to cut it.